Ashes of Times

My two shining lights of GE 2011

2011-05-03T19:03:00.001+01:00

As Singapore rolls along towards what perhaps has been its most complex GE since Independance, I thought I would take myself out from the heat of voting sentiments, and just share about two individuals, who have been my shining lights for this Election. Within the context of Singapore's heavily partisan political backdrop, they have emerged from their respective political affliations, and truly touched the hearts and minds of many. They are Mr Chiam See Tong and Mr George Yeo.

I will put my head out and say this: The reason why PAP still has an even chance in Aljunied today, is largely down to Mr Yeo. Some will see it as a political strategy, gimmick or even joke, but I think that to many Singaporeans out there, we genuinely feel that in the event that he does not get elected into Parliament, Mr Yeo would be the best person to become President of our nation. Because, he embodies alot of what Singapore stands for. Different people would perhaps have different reasons, but for me, two stand out.

Facebook is by no means the authoratative medium of communication, and without doubt, it only involves a certain segment of society. But in terms of duration of account, and even more importantly, degree of communication, Mr Yeo has easily been the most 'connectable' MP in Singapore, light years ahead all other electoral candidates, PAP AND Opposition alike. And this is in spite of being Foreign Minister! One can put on a front, to seem interested in outreach and communication, for a day, a week, months even, but certainly not years! Even if he did start of with any sort of political agenda, it has certainly developed into a true interest in reaching out and being reachable. From his many uploaded pictures, his involvment in actual ground outreach and community events are also evident.In this regard, Mr Yeo has demonstrated through his consistent action, that he is genuinely interested in the general public.

The second has to do with his pioneering involvement in the starting up of Nalanda University. Mr Yeo is a devout Catholic, Nalanda University is an ancient Buddhist University, for which Mr Yeo is part of the team spearheading its modern revival. Of course, one can see this as part of his job as Foreign Minister, but from many of his interviews on the project, I sense a keen intellectual and social interest in a religion separate from his own. Singapore is multi-religious, we believe in living in harmony, and to do that, one needs to be genuinely not just respectful, but appreciative of other religions and races, and I think in this respect, Mr Yeo embodies this too.

I move on now to Mr Chiam See Tong. To me, Mr Chiam See Tong is no politician. A quick historical check on Wikipedia will tell you the following: He started the SDP, but got usurped by his protege and kicked out of the party. He then spearheaded the formation of the SDA, but was then again challenged by his Council and relieved of his role of Chairman. This is not a record any political leader would be proud of, and would put his political leadership acumen into severe questioning. His Opposition counterpart in parliament, Mr Low Thia Khiang, incidentally has a huge amount of such acumen.

But for me, Mr Chiam stands hands and shoulders above any politician we have seen. He is the shining beacon of what it means to be a true servant-leader (as much as I hate the term), who has put the interests of others, far, far beyong his own interests. Instead of justifying this by stating what he has done, I will give two examples of what he has not done.

Mr Goh Chok Tong recently told the press that Mr Tan Jee Say had made a mistake joining the SDP, and told him to 'ask Mr Chiam about SDP'. The obvious reference was the removal of Mr Chiam from the very party he had formed. One could hardly blame Mr Chiam for holding strong grievance against his former counterparts in SDP, in SDA, whom at one point of time or another, had rode his very wings into politics but eventually left him out. But if one were to trace back his rally speeches, press interviews etc, one would be hard-pressed to find any single stinging criticism Mr Chiam has made of his former counterparts. He has never put down any other opposition party done during the Elections, because he truly believes, I guess, in the importance of the unity of the opposition to be a voice of democracy for Singaporeans. Nothing can be more inciting than being 'betrayed', but Mr Chiam has risen against his personal grievances, in the interests of the people.

The other thing Mr Chiam has not done, is tell the world, that for 27 years, he conducted his MPS in a makeshift cubicle at a void deck. He never made it into an election rallying point, when one can only imagine its potency. It was only made known when reporters came across it. Why hadnt he used it as cannon fodder against the PAP? I can only hazard a few plausible guesses. Firstly, he felt that it was a trivial issue which could spiral into gutter politics, and take away from the real issues of the day. Second, he felt that if it was about serving the people, it really doesnt matter where iti is, as long as his heart is in it and he gets the job done, and if there were excess funds, it should always go to some other use which would benefit the larger community. This is the hallmark of a responsible politician, whose only interest , are to his residents.

Today, Mr Chiam's limitations are clear for all to see at the rallies. He is barely audible at times, but to me, his every word, rings home louder than thunder, because it is, right from the heart.

I dont know if partisan politics and a partisan electorate will continue to stay in Singapore. I really hope it does not. Political Parties are a source of stability, but also create huge rigidity when in partisan societies. It takes away from not just the policies and plans from the party, but more importantly, the many individuals the party puts forward as its candidates. Whether they win at these Elections notwithstanding, I feel that both Mr Chiam and Mr Yeo have proven through their many years of track record, to be a refreshing breed of leaders in Singapore. Leaders from the heart, who are unifying giants across this partisan political landscape.

Singapore a la Barcelona.. Mes que un ciudad

2011-02-13T04:48:00.001Z

The last time any reference was drawn between football and Singapore as a country, was probably after France 98, where we were told we could aspire to be like France, a Footballing Champion of Immigrants. Not sure if such a reference would ever be made again, if not for laughs after a pint. It's probably in quite half a drunken state now, that I try to make another reference between football and Singapore. My point of reference? Barcelona F.C.

I enjoy football, and very much appreciate its ability to ignite the excitement of peoples all over the world. But I'm not going to draw parallels as to how Singapore can become a great footballing nation. I'm going one step further, to draw parallels as to how Singapore can be simply, a great nation. I've long been bugged by my disability to explain my gut feel, that above all else, it is the sense of belonging, the common identity, and the simple hardwork of commoners, all these soft factors that make a great nation. Not the high annual GDP growths (i.e. casino opening), not the high paying jobs in knowledge(i.e. financial) industries, nor the high-intellectual foreign geniuses and certainly not the internalised international concepts and methodologies of innovation-led productivity. It is not that all these arent essential, on the contrary , they are quite our survival tools to a successful city. However, if the fundamentals of any nation are built on these, then the success of the nation will be bobbling around the wave of economic cycles - up and down, prone to capsize. Not great at all.

But the ship is just a hypothetical analogy, not convincing to any less of a romantic than me. So I was stuck for many years, until Pep Guardiola, Xavi, Iniesta, Puyol, a certain Lionel Messi and Barcelona F.C. came around.

Barcelona F.C. is probably recognised as the greatest footballing team in the world right now, if not in history. They swept all domestic, European and international honours in 2009, were close enough in 2010, and look imperious again in 2011. In 2010's FIFA World Player of the Year Awards, the first three (i.e.Messi, Iniesta, Xavi) were monopolized by Barcelona. Before anyone gets carried away by the individual genius of these three players, all three of them attributed their success to one key factor: the teamwork and camaraderie built up since their youth playing days at the Barcelona Academy, La Masia. Another key attribute shined through their interviews, and that of their team-mates and manager: their pride and sense of belonging and passion towards not just Barcelona F.C. the club, but the city of Barcelona and its citizens. Afterall, the slogan of Barcelona, Mes que un club,means just that - more than a club.

With the exception of Messi, the other players at Barcelona would probably not have the greatest shout-outs for greatest talents in football. In contrast with the Galactico era of Real Madrid, with a star-studded team of World/European Footballer of the Years, i.e. Zidane, Ronaldo, Figo, Beckham, or even the current team of Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo and the Galactico Coach Mourinho, Barcelona's team does pale in individual brillance. Yet, how could a team of largely home-born, with the exception of Argentinian Messi (and the Spanish do not have the best footballing pedigree, not by World Cup Records, where they lag Brazil, Italy, Argentina, even Germany), become the best side in the world? Not the high net-worth and highly paid foreign geniuses, not the state-of-the-art managerial techniques, and certainly not the high-interest bank rolling towards bankruptcy loans. Because in the final analysis, the single greatest driving force of productivity, innovation, and greatness, is not all of these, but a common passion.

If there are any calls for facts and figures, lets take 4 v 4. Zidane, Ronaldo, Figo and Beckham have between themselves played for at least 10 different teams. Messi, Iniesta, Xavi and Puyol have a grand total of one. Ok, these players are not even close to retiring, so its an unfair comparison. Let's just take Cristiano and Kaka then, between just two of them, already 5 teams.

My point being? It is the the common dogged hardwork, common understanding built up over years of communication, the productivity of passion and above all, the shared involvement and belonging in place and community that makes a great club. Barcelona may not win the Champions League or La Liga every year, but as long as the social fabric and teamwork ethic remains rooted within the Club's Academy and Management Philosophy, the greatness will remain, year after year. Ditto for a great nation. Mes que un ciudad ...or More than a city.

And, with this in place, one doesnt even need to fear foreign talent leaving for their home countries. Heck, Argentina didnt win the World Cup, did they? Spain did.

Singapore and our Neighbours

2011-01-23T14:10:00.001Z

Reading excerpts from MM's latest book published in ST, I was reminded of the hard truth of Singapore's vulnerability, where 'none of our neighbours truly wish us well'. Through his 50 over years of statesmanship, MM's comments were a stark reminder of the need for Singapore and Singaporeans to always persevere towards its quest of not just flourishing, but survival itself. His examples of neighbouring leaders including Mahathir and Sukarno drove home this point well.

And I agree fully with MM's view on our vulnerability. However, I fear that it may be a partial perspective, and if read without further thought, would be misinterpreted and manifested in completely wrong attitudes among less discerning readers. If any reader walked away thinking that all our neighbouring countries want us dead, and that manifests into hate, and disgust, combined with arrogance towards their jealousy, then we would be in trouble.

The truth is, it may not be in the short-term interests of political leaders of our neighbouring countries to wish us well, and there might well be a genuine case of jealousy and hoping Singapore fails. Having to protect their countries well-being, leaders might resort to measures and policies which are aimed at hurting Singapore. However, the views of leadership do not represent the entire country. Those of us with friends from ASEAN countries, would be able to vouch that many of them have no vendetta against Singapore, in fact, they probably think well of Singapore. While the majority of their fellow countrymen might not share their liking and admiration for us, they would at most be apathetic about the state of international affairs. To say that citizens of our neighbouring countries all wish we fail, would be a gross misrepresentation.

Someone might argue, that in international affairs, it is no use what the majority of the people think, but the thoughts and actions of those in charge. And if upon taking on leadership and the need to safeguard personal interests, leaders of neighbouring countries have to inevitably adopt policies against the interests of Singapore, it doesnt matter what their original attitudes towards Singapore were, before getting into power. Granted the validity in this argument, it doesnt take away the fact that a general mistrust of all our neighbours based on this premise, would only result in further misunderstanding not just at the political, but also the civic/community level.

My takeaway from MM's comments would be, we as Singaporeans will need to be vigilant and committed to the survival of our country, recognising that the neighbouring political climate may not be in our favour as yet. This should be manifested in working hard and striving towards our economic, defense and social needs. On the other hand however, as normal citizens, we should treat our counterparts from neighbouing countries with sincerity and goodwill, and form true friendships with them. Nation states may disagree over short term strategic benefits, but this may one day, be counter-balanced by a cooperative and mutually understanding civic community.

Uncovering the Fundamentals of Human Nature - The Gross National Happiness Index (GNH)

2010-11-15T14:34:00.002Z

It seems that the political world is finally taking to the idea of GNH or' Gross National Happiness' - a quantitative index of psychological well-being put at the heart of policy-making. Since the concept was first created by the 4th King of Bhutan HM Jigme Singye Wangchuck to guide development in his nation, Canada, France and the UK have recently announced initiatives for an official Happiness Index to guide policy-making in their countries.

Many people know about the GNH, through the romanticized viewing-glass of scenic Bhutan, the Kingdom amidst the mountains and clouds, where its people sing and dance the songs of generations past, living a life of tranquility and harmony with nature. I make no qualms that I am very much such a 'rustic idealist' as well, whose lifelong dream is still to find myself by the little stream in the rural wilderness, eating my peanuts as time and breeze go by. However, if one's understanding of GNH were to stop at this idealized, and rather contentious picture, it would be a great injustice to the many social and psychological researchers who have put effort into the GNH, to turn a conceptual aspiration, into a quantitative index which can be used as a policy-making tool all around the world, for different communities, across the rural-urban spectrum.

It is through the immaculate understanding of human nature, woven into the very fundamentals of what it measures, how it is measured, and why it is measured, which differentiates the GNH from any other quantitative measure of 'development'. I can only share on a few key ones which resonated strongly when I first read them.

Sustainable Happiness. During the consumption of goods and services, the measure of what gives the people happiness will be relative, either to what others are consuming or to what one had the year before. This fact implies that there are negative externalities to happiness associated with consumption that needs to be curbed. As contrasted against such happiness achieved through external stimuli, there is a contrary tradition that point to a different source of happiness, showing that pleasurable feelings will be generated by shutting down sensory inputs and the related mental chatter. This involves secular meditation whereby the individual experiences the subject itself, as opposed to the subject perceiving external stimuli.Long enough meditation may lead the brain structure (neural pathways) to be changed such that calmness and contentment will be a personality trait. In other words, the mental faculties can be trained towards happiness. From a contemplative perspective, extreme reliance on externally derived pleasure distracts the individual from inner sources of happiness, elevating the latter.

Interdependent Happiness. In order to achieve collective happiness, the principle of interdependence needs to be taken on by everyone. Members of a GNH society would cultivate a third eye, which can elevate our vision beyond individual self-interest to address the happiness of all, as a collective goal. Happiness blossoms through enhanced relationships, arising unbidden when relationships improve. In this sense, the whole of development is a progress in relationships, not of individuals.

Sufficient Happiness. The Gross National Happiness Index takes the position that beyond a certain point, we dont need to keep adding in higher achievements to the quality of life mechanically; we confine our attention somewhat to a middle band of achievements that contribute significantly to human well-being for most people. Hence, having a much longer than sufficient education-span, does not compensate for a much lower than sufficient community vitality. Sufficiency across the key dimensions is the aggregate of GNH, rather than an absolute weighted average of the different dimensions.

These fundamentals guide the selection of indicators used to measure GNH across the nine dimensions of: Psychological Well-Being, Time Use, Community Vitality, Culture, Health, Education, Environmental Diversity, Living Standard, Governance.

I must admit that I have quoted in large sections directly from the GNH website in the identification of the fundamentals above, in my attempt to give a quick snapshot on the GNH. However, I recognize the potential incoherence of simply extracting bits out of the complete whole, and I would strongly urge anyone with any interest at all in the concept of GNH, or the understanding of happiness, to go directly to the website: www.grossnationalhappiness.com to discover more. It is very wordy and can be quite difficult to grasp at times, but it is well worth the effort to think through, even if you may have differing views.

Work-Live-Play

2010-11-15T14:32:00.001Z

I read today about how Singapore's exhibit at the Venice Biennale 'showcases the Republic's ability to perfect social, economic and environmental balance, and how the replication of Singapore's ' high-density, mixed-used development' model by 1000 times will house the entire world living sustainably.This model, is very much in line with 'New Urbanism', the latest fashion in Urban Planning to create 'Work-Live-Play' environments for people to work and live in. I have always had an almost instinctive distaste for such a concept, but have never been able to explain why. Recently, I think I have found the underlying explanations.

The 'work-live-play' concept portrays itself as the 'great unifier' of different uses. From an era in which people live far away from where they work, and work far away from where they play, 'work-live-play' combines all these uses within a highly intensified and dynamic space. This concept has attracted many planners, architects, politicians. The problem for me though, is that this concept is stuck within an economic paradigm of specialisation, and worse, may even serve to camouflage it.

Just think about it. Why would we need to create 'work-live-play' physical environments, if we actually live through our work and play?Conversely, how is it ever possible to achieve a 'work-live-play' psychological environment, if we dont live through our work and play? A physical 'live-work-play' environment is little more than a psychological manipulation, which as all manipulations, can never be sustainable in the long-term.

When I was younger but still as naive as I am today, I broke down the natural human nature into three components: Greed, Self-Esteem, and Compassion. Each individual is then made up by different levels of each component, which then manifest into different characters and personalities. Human utility was therefore achieved by progress in each of the three spheres. Attaining more material (or even spiritual) wealth made people happier. Gaining more self-esteem, or a sense of self-worth made people happier. Contributing to the welfare of others made people happier. However, the pursuit of these components is hardly always complementary. Therefore, if an action allows someone to gain more material wealth, but affects his self-esteem negatively, then the net change to utility will be much less than the gain acrued from the gain to material wealth.

It is the incomplete understanding of and attention to human nature, which has led to today's seperation of 'work-live-play'. From the hunter gatherers, to the farmers, to the Industrial societies, to the 'globalised, urbanised, IT & Financial centric society of today, the human developmental model has been the unilateral pursuit to reduce risk, increase output, improve convenience. This is a natural extension of the fundamental 'greed' component of the human make-up. However, along the way, the complete ignoring of the components of 'self-esteem' (hardly the best word for what I am trying to convey, but includes self-worth, self-expression etc) and 'compassion', are perhaps why utility has not improved at all.

To the hunter gatherer, hunting for prey was a source of personal vindication, social vindication and risk rolled into one. He 'lived' through his hunting, in that each prey successfully caught was testimony to his ability and self-worth, his contribution to his family and the wider community, but each hunt came with it the chance of failure and even the risk of getting hurt or killed. Throughout the centuries, human beings have spent all their time and effort on decreasing the risks of failure. Specialization, efficiency, productivity, even risk-management itself, these terms can never be disassociated with the intention of reducing risk. But what has happened to 'self-worth' and 'compassion'? These have not only not been developed, but in many ways, have actually gone back.

For the average factory worker, even the office worker of today, does he validate his human existence through his work? Does he find self-expression in his work? The hunter-gatherer probably felt more. For the busy and pre-occupied and self-centred products of today's society, do they have any time for family and community apart of self? Probably less than the hunter-gatherer too. The seperation of work from self-expression, play and community has brought utility to the greed componet at the expense of 'self-esteem' and 'compassion'.

Therefore,even if we achieve the 'perfect balance' of social, economic and environmental balance, there will hardly be any sustainable improvement to the human condition, unless we adress the issue of 'psychological balance'. What we need to create, are not mere spaces where the functional uses of the economic paradigm meet, but spaces where the fundamental components of the psychological paradigm find expression. In this utopia, there will be no 'work-live-play', all of us, will simply live, again.

Happy New Year 2010!

2010-01-01T00:19:00.002Z

Exactly a year since the last post, and its the New Year again!

I remember many a time within this past year where I have had the urge to write something on this blog, but somehow laziness or a lack of inspiration would get the better of me. But tonight is different, tonight is the start of a new decade. And I thought I should pen down some of my thoughts.

I remember 31st December 1999 very vividly. I had a piano performance on that night at the Drama Centre @ Fort Canning, 'The Little Prince' it was. The entire family was there to watch the LPT concert, and we ended close to 10pm. It had been a successful concert as far as I remember, my first concert with responsibilities both on stage as a performer, and backstage as stage manager. The family then proceeded to Pasir Ris Park, Fishermens' Village, to countdown with everyone else. My mum's family operated the business there, and many of our relatives were there too. The place was packed and crowded with people all waiting to usher in the New Year by the sea.

Where I was at exactly 0000hrs on 1 Jan 2000, I cannot really remember now. I probably had counted down with everyone else, and wished everyone a wonderful new year, but I do remember going over to the playground subsequently for some peace and quiet. I always liked these moments of quiet reflection, especially at momentous times like the dawning of a new millennium.

We left the park at about 2am, went for a short supper meal somewhere, before heading back to the temporary home at Mariam Way. The original house in Pasir Ris was still being rebuilt at this time. After showering up and everything, everyone had gone to bed, and I switched on my study lights, and startd to pen my memoirs of my life in the millenium that had just passed me by, my life from 1985 to 1999, up till I was aged 14. The entire essay was written in Mandarin (looking back now I cant think of the exact reasons for using it instead of English, but I had a tendency to express more intrspective thoughts in Mandarin anyway). The original copy of it sits proudly in my room to this date, and through the years, I have had more than my fair share of flipping through it just to relive the memories. It was not a short article, but overall, it was a very contented one. I remember being very satisfied with my life, very contented, having no regrets, with little aspirations for the future except that it would hold more of the same.

In the blink of an eye, here we are in 2010. To say the least, it has been an eventful decade. Alot of the things that have happened have been documented here on the blog, in private writings that I keep and in conversations with family and friends. Looking forward to the next decade, I would probably have much more aspirations for myself than I had in 1999, not because I have become less satisfied with my life, but because this past decade has shown me the possibilities one has to bring about a more meaningful life for everyone, including myself.

Looking forward ten years from now, I hope that I will have been able to pursue some of my interests in communication between different groups of people (especially within Southeast Asia), in contributing towards environmentally-responsive food production, and fulfil my responsibilities as a dedicated civil servant in Singapore. On the home front, I wont go as far to say that I will be married come 2020, but that certainly would be an important milestone (considering that for the past 5 years of my life, I have been saying that I would get married at 25!) Marraige apart, the happiness, cohesiveness and good health of the present family has always been top of the priorities and that will always stay.

Looking back at the ten years gone by, I really cant say that it has been as smooth-sailing as the years from 85-99, but what I can say is that it has been every much as meaningful and fulfilling. I remember writing in 1999 that back then I felt as if alot of good things had been thrust onto my shoulders, and all I had to do was take them on and everything seemed to roll on great. This past 10 years since then has been anything but that. I really feel that everything I did, or did not do, was largely to alot of thinking and effort on my part, and on my family and friends. I have never, and will never deny the importance of good luck in my life, and there have been many such moments this decade too. However, in terms of the relationships I have forged with both family and friends, in terms of the work I have done in school and outside school, I wont bat an eyelid to say I put in a real lot of effort to get to where I stand today. And I am proud of that.

If there is one thing that has not changed though since 1999 or even before, it has been my philosophy on how I treat others in life. In 1999, I wrote that regardless of what I did, I only had used my heart with good intentions for all around me, to the extent that it could cause me some frustration even at times. I am overjoyed that despite having seen and experienced so much since then, I can hold my head up high and say I still walk the talk. Honesty and sincerity are still very much the guiding principles of my life, and if there is anything I wish now that stays the same in this decade to come, I will say, let it be my conviction to them.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 2009!

2008-12-30T16:16:00.002Z

This blog always serves as a timely reminder to myself as to how time really flies by. Every New Year, I will go back to the New Year posts I made previously, and I always feels that it was yesterday when I posted them. And thus, here we are again, peering into 2009. And so, may I wish everyone a wonderful 2009, with happiness, good health, and fulfillment in abundance! =)

Lessons on Humanity

2008-11-22T15:49:00.005Z

Thoughts from a Cultural Workshop in Batam

‘Music is not about telling a story, or describing a picture. Music is about feelings.’ In one of his Young People’s Concerts, Leonard Bernstein touched upon the topic ‘What does Music mean?’ The above was his answer. While the concert itself was given way back in 1958, I only had the opportunity to listen to it in DVD format in the comforts of a suite in Turi Resort, Batam. It was my first involvement with LPT ever since I ‘graduated’ in 2003.

Mr Wong had been preparing for the Batam Workshop at least a month before 16^th Nov 2008 when we departed Singapore. I was lucky enough to have had the chance to meet him for discussions on his objectives for the trip and how these objectives could be met. Through the discussions, I could sense this desire in Mr Wong, to develop ‘sensitivity’ in his students towards culture and ultimately, towards their own feelings. This was going to be about development in humanity.

The problem with an education in sensitivity is that one cannot teach it. One can only expose others in as different ways as possible, in the hope that one or a couple of these ways can evoke that ‘enlightenment of self-feeling’ within others. Having acquired an acute sensitivity of one’s own feelings, one is then able to truly appreciate culture and music, thereby transcending into a genuine appreciation of life in general. The Batam Workshop was thus that, a rigorous experimentation that the children and their parents were put through, visiting cultural venues such as ‘Tua Pek Kong’ and ‘Kong Zi’ Temple, natural spots such as mangrove swamps, local commerce culture such as the street markets and shopping malls, as well as an indigenous village. Just as Mr Wong described it himself, the trip was like a maze, he never really knew which path would lead to an outcome, or even if any of the paths would lead to anything at all.

For every activity and venue, the participants were given a list of questions that would serve as ‘guiders’ to bring out their feelings and thoughts. Mr Wong would also share his own feelings and viewpoints. The questions moved from the more tangible, observational types like ‘what are the differences between … and …’ to the more intangible ones on impressions, feelings and ‘what music arose during the visit’. The children and parents expressed themselves in words and sketches. The intention behind this simple exercise was simple – to get the participants to be more observant about things around them. The more observant one is, the more feelings one feels in greater depth. The greater the variety of feelings one is exposed to, the greater the range of expressions one is able to convey, be it through your writing, music, dance or any other form of design and communication.

At the end of the trip, the participants were divided into groups according to age to make their own sand design, based on the theme of ‘a diary in Batam’. The younger students created a temple out of the sand, but with surprising detail to the structural symmetry and wall design of the temples they had seen. The older students explored the philosophical paradigm of ‘life as a boat’ and the more raw expression of emotion of a struggle between a ‘snake and a chicken’ which they had seen in one of the villages. The adults chose to depict the journey from Singapore to Batam and their thoughts on the trip.

Throughout the trip, the children also kept a log of their answers to the questions posed and their thoughts in general. The visit to the village where they experienced little children selling fruits left a deep impression on quite a few of the older children. Most of their writings revealed a deeper sense of emotions beyond the superficial, ‘I felt that pity wasn’t the right emotion to describe my feelings then as they seemed happy and contented as they were selling or had sold the fruits’; ‘If I had to give up all I had now to come here to stay, I would not be too happy as I would have lost many opportunities.’ Different people had different thoughts, but all were equally original journeys of self-discovery into trying to explain what they were feeling and why they were feeling that. The key to me therefore, is that when it comes to your own feelings, there can be no right or wrong, there can only be whether you have experienced deeply or superficially.

Friends who I had informed of the trip had asked me, ‘Why go on a cultural trip to Batam? It’s a place of vices! Prostitution, gambling..’ I think the participants on the trip would be able to reflect a very different side of the reality. If we as humans simply take the pre-conceived, popular notion of things, and let these things guide us, then it is very difficult for us to understand ourselves as individuals. But if we put aside everything, and put our senses to the task of observation, and our mind to the understanding of our feelings, we can then find our own individuality, our own appreciation of our existence!

I am not sure how well Mr Wong has achieved his objectives and only time can really tell. But again, as he said, he had already laid the seeds of opportunity to his students and their parents. From the feedback of parents and children alike, everyone had probably started on the same footstep (be it bigger or smaller) in that direction…(for example, some students were very strong on their observations, while others were beginning to express in-depth self-reflection.)

“If each time after you feel, you think and try to understand why you felt what you felt, then in the future, you will be better able to express yourself in a way that helps others to feel what you want them to feel too! But if you do not feel, and do not train yourself to be observant in the first place, then you will find it very difficult to evoke any form of emotion in others at all. And gradually, humanity would have lost something ...” my own thoughts on art and communication

Political parties: Does pragmatic Singapore need them?

2008-11-21T15:28:00.000Z

THE letter by Mr Gilbert Goh on Wednesday, 'Two-party system better', summarises the view held by some Singaporeans that a two-party system would be more beneficial than a one-party system as advocated by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong last week. However, the gist of the argument for a two-party system has not run away from 'checks and balances' and 'democracy'. To me, such arguments have not really understood the meaning and relevance of a party in the first place. The fundamental reason why parties are started is that they carry certain political and philosophical ideologies which they think should transcend towards social and economic policies which will best be able to raise the standard of living of society. The idea of having a political party just to ensure checks and balances on the ruling party (as these arguments seem to imply) miss the point completely. In fact, such a mentality would lead to an opposition party opposing for the sake of opposing.

On that same note however, if the governance of a country is based on pragmatism as our leaders have explained over the years, then one should question the whole idea of a party system. Pragmatism in reality is not beholden to any political or philosophical ideology. The best manifestation of it is 'the most suitable policies at the most appropriate times'. Indeed, for a small city-state like Singapore, completely intertwined within the complex web of globalisation and international cities, pragmatism may be the only viable form of governance ideal. We cannot afford to hang on to any pre-subscribed ideology, be it socialism or democracy, just for the sake of doing so.

However, the concept of a party, by nature of its cause for existence, will need its members to share a certain ideology. Surely, however, pragmatism is something that can receive unrestrained expression only through the individual. Any form of party whip will constrain a member's view of what is the most pragmatic way to do something. If a certain policy is pragmatic, however, individuals who do not belong to any party may also subscribe to it jointly (as if in a party) as it is the most pragmatic choice to take.

Would Singapore then be better off without political parties, but responsible and capable individuals putting themselves up for elections? A selected group of 'respected elders' within society can serve as the baseline moderators for such interested individuals. For those people championing a two-party system, surely, a non-party individual-based form of democracy would provide an even more elaborate check-and-balance framework of democracy.

(Above article was published in this form in ST Online Forum on 21st November 2008)

On Obama's Election

2008-11-07T10:30:00.003Z

"We reward people a lot for being rich, for being famous, for being cute, for being thin ... one of the values I think we need to instill in our country, in our children, is a sense of 'usefulness', in other words, are we useful, are we making other peoples' lives a little bit better?' - Barack Obama

Mr Barack Obama's election as the next President of America, is indeed historic, and has grabbed attention and attracted euphoria all over the world. Youths especially have been invigorated, stimulated and excited by his vision of change, his background and his charisma. Many news reports have written on how the US and the world indeed could become, under the Obama presidency. I will not go into all that, and will keep this post short.

To me, Barack Obama is not about being an antithesis to George Bush, he is not about pulling out of Iraq, he is not about getting America out of the current financial crisis, he is not about being the first black American President. These are things the American electorate (if not the world) want to hear, and therefore, are the things he has said to gain their vote and support. To me, Barack Obama is much more. He is about intuition, a man in tune to his own thoughts and feelings, a human beings who inclines towards the tangible and woolly, often-much shunned concept of 'social fairness'. When studying in Indonesia as a young boy, he told his teacher he wanted to be President. His reason? 'So that he can make everyone happy.' This was his intuition speaking, something he would never be able to use hard facts and figures to prove how, something that is not 'rational' as the term is currently understood. But critically, this was his heart. Before anyone jumps to conclusions and misunderstands, make no mistake, this guy has a great brain. The key though, is that his brain is guided by his even greater heart.

The next four years will likely be tumultuous, I can only hope that at the end of Mr Obama's term, the very same people who are hula-balooing now about how great he is, will not judge him by the so-called facts and figures, and praise or criticize him on that. If so, I do not think they understand the greatness of this man. I hope Mr Obama shows to our world, that if you have your heart in the right place, you will never go wrong following your intuition. I respect him for that, and admire him, for his ability to gain the votes in today's calculative world in spite of his fundamental intuitiveness. That speaks volumes, for his brains.

The Future of Housing in Singapore - Part Two

2008-11-01T14:32:00.000Z

Towards Housing, A Gracious Society - An Experiment with Social Housing?

Shelter is seen as a basic human right across the world, but this has been interpreted differently according to the various policies respective governments have chosen to take. Owing to an urgent need for housing in the 1960s to house the people previously living in villages and slums, the Singapore government pertinently and rightly took over the responsibility for creating quick but respectable public housing under the Housing Development Board. As time evolved, and the private housing market developed in strength, we retained this dichotomy between the public housing and private housing market, which formalized spatially through the separation of ‘walled private condominiums’ from ‘road access, concrete-paved public housing’.

Other parts of the world have adopted a variety of different approaches, but I will like to bring to attention the ‘social housing’ concept as practiced in Scandinavia. To start with, I should clarify that social housing does not contain any developer implications, that is, it can be either public or private developed, or a combination of both. In Scandinavia, the model chosen is the primarily private developed one. This means that for every residential project a private developer undertakes, they are required by law to set aside 40-60% of units within that project for social houses, which can only sell at 40-60% of the market value of the remainder of the normal units within the estate. The developer is only allowed minimal differentiation between the social and normal units in terms of unit size and detailed façade. It is important to note though, that fully exclusive private developments continue to exist as well. Thinking aloud, what are the implications of such a model for Singapore?

Firstly, what will be the direct impact on Housing Development Board? The state subsidizes public housing using taxpayers’ money; the passing on of this responsibility to the private developers will mean a lifting of the burden on the state and indirectly the taxpayer. HDB’s remit will undergo a fundamental change from a housing developer, into a masterplanner/regulator which crafts regulations for the private developers and also work with them to develop the new ‘housing estates’.

Next, what are the implications on the private developers? Will they want to take over such a responsibility? The first reaction will be: why will they want to take over the responsibility of social housing, when they do not stand to make any profit from it? However, the possible economies of scales they obtain by having larger land parcels and increased units, yet still able to charge 40% of the units at normal market price, may actually offset the reduced prices they can sell the social houses for. This is something the HDB is currently not able to do, as it does not develop private housing. The state can also further entice private developers through passing on a portion of the original subsidies, PR allowances, more freedom of use on site. Indeed, this might give way to more mixed-used and well-integrated estates which can have both social and environmental benefits. Hopefully, this can also appeal to the civic-mindedness of our local private developers as they get a chance to improve our nation on a scale beyond the present. However, we are also of course not limited to local private developers; overseas private developers would still be welcome to tender their bids too.

Thirdly and most critically, what will be the impact of such a change on the ground? How will these new ‘housing estates’ look? For one, there will no longer be any concrete-paved void decks, as these will not be deemed marketable to the non-social market. The obvious direction will therefore be that these ‘housing estates’ will look and feel better than any ‘public or even private developments’, as the private developers will need to raise the bar to attract people to the normal units. I daresay that the majority of Singapore’s population on the whole, would be living in better-off conditions than ever before. HDB’s new found role will also be to work with the private developers to achieve this, and master planning will take foremost precedence. I will also hazard a guess, that these new estates will bring about a greater sense of social cohesion and etiquette, evoked by a greater sense of belonging; ‘unglamorous’ attitudes and behaviours may also thus, gradually disappear.

Finally, what will be the implications for the state in general? Again, the first reaction will be that the new ‘housing estates’ will raise land value over and above what any ‘public housing estate’ now can achieve. And the state stands to benefit through the imposition of Development Charge to cream off these increases in land value. A closer understanding will however render this unnecessarily true, as the increase in land value of these new housing estates, may be offset by a fall in land value in other land parcels in the country. However, as it stands, there can be no evidence that supports either the former or the latter. In all eventualities, this would be a fundamental issue that the Urban Redevelopment Authority as overall master planner of Singapore can address and work on, especially as it has effective regulatory and enforcement tools it has utilized well since its formation. This by itself cannot therefore be a reason for not experimenting with such ‘new housing estates’.

This brings me therefore back to what I see as the main obstacle for such a model from succeeding here in Singapore: The reception of the population towards the notion of paying more than your neighbour for an almost similar house, and a completely similar public environment. If Singaporeans refuse to buy the normal units in such developments, no private developer will be able to market the entire project. Similarly, it would be foolhardy as well, for the government to try to initiate such a change if it is not in line with the demands of the people.

Are we then, as Singaporeans willing to forgo our desire for individual distinction in terms of housing, if it means that almost everyone may actually benefits? If so, it might be worth experimentation starting with a regeneration of an older estate. Beyond just a roof over everyone's head, housing may be the best tangible avenue which the society can moves towards graciousness. After all, the house and the environment is where we spend most of our time.

The Future of Housing in Singapore - Part One

2008-11-01T14:31:00.000Z

Housing Board Subsidies – Regressive?

In the 1990s, Housing Development Board changed their subsidy policy of flats to in effect, be a discount on the market price. Hence, a HDB flat located in the same precinct as a private condominium would sell at a much lower price in comparison. In our government’s drive towards home ownership such that everyone has a ‘stake in the country’, 95 per cent of the 80 per cent of HDB dwellers are owner-occupiers. This is indeed a remarkable achievement for a country just over 40 years old – a true testimony to the success of the government and the HDB.

However, there has been recent public discussion as to the rising costs of HDB flats and whether housing is still affordable in Singapore. Some questioned why the subsidies from the government were not a cost-based break-even subsidy, but one that was a discount on the market price. To this, the government stand has been that such a market-based approach ‘reflects the true subsidy buyers enjoy’ and has allowed HDB to price its flats affordably despite the sharp escalation in construction costs. Indeed, this is an accurate reflection of the situation. The bottom line being, if HDB changed its policy to a cost-based break-even subsidy, the amount of subsidy it would have to foot would increase with construction costs and this might prove unsustainable over a prolonged period. Hence, basing a subsidy on the market price will mean that the state as public housing provider gains less than it would have if it was a private developer. The public then benefits from this discount. The state however, still gains an excess over costs from their public housing developments, which is used to ensure that future public housing prices can be kept affordable. All this works well. However, let us explore deeper into the contributors of these subsidies – who is subsidizing for public housing in Singapore?

Under a cost-based break-even subsidy, an increase in construction costs will mean that the government will have to utilize more of taxpayers’ funds to subsidize the increase. Tax in Singapore is a progressive tax which means that the better-off contribute a larger percentage of their wealth towards taxes. Paying for the subsidies from taxpayer funds’ will mean that the better-off will subsidize an increasing proportion of the subsidy increase. This is definitely progressive.

Under a market-price based discount subsidy, the reduced profit from current public housing developments the state receives is used to subsidize future public housing developments. The reduced profit is received from the Singaporeans living in public housing developments today. The subsidy for future public housing is for the Singaporeans living in public housing developments tomorrow. What this means then, is that the population living in public housing is, effectively subsidizing itself over time.

But then, what about the state’s subsidy - the discount on market-price it has given to these 80% of the population? Who actually is paying for that? The answer depends on what the actual market price these public housing developments would be, based on demand, and not just on supply factors (i.e. location, costs). Simply put, if there would be no demand for these developments without the discount, (because those that can afford it would have sought out private developments, and those that cannot afford it, will simply not be able to afford owning a home), then the discount would actually not exist. The market price for something with no demand would be zero, and a discount on zero would be zero.

Therefore, it does seem that having 80% of public housing dwellers subsidizing themselves over time, leaving the 20% already living in private housing completely unaffected is regressive. In our quest towards a progressive society outlined through our other policies, this housing subsidy policy seems to go against that. Crucially, this regressive policy affects 95% (of the 80% in public housing), as they are home-owners. This is a percentage much larger than the population actually paying progressive taxes.

I am however, not advocating a cost-based break-even subsidy, as it is undeniable that over an extended period of time, that may prove increasingly unsustainable as construction costs and the living standard demands of public house owners rise. Nor do I think we should relook the home ownership policy of Singapore, as the ‘everyone has a stake in this country’ argument is a good and justified one. The solution, might then, just lie in an area which Singapore was weak in and could not afford to rely on when we first started off as a young nation in 1965, but has since grown from strength to strength – the private property developers. Can they offer affordable social housing?

(The above article was published in ST Online Forum on 29 Oct 2008, titled 'Are Housing Board Subsidies Regressive?')

The Future of Housing in Singapore - Prelude

2008-11-01T14:24:00.002Z

The Value of a Human Being
There is an old adage that goes: ‘You can know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.’ However, as most students of free market economics will be able to tell us, the price of a good must be its value, and vice versa. So if goods are to be considered as ‘things’, then at least, we know the value of ‘some things’. We could debate till the cows come home on whether this is true, but I will not do so, because, after all, goods, by definition, are non-living things. Surely, the essence of life is living things, and the essence of society is human beings. What then, is the value of a human being?

Increasingly in today’s globalised and developed world, the value of a human being is represented by his capital worth. The grand aim of economics is to ‘optimize scarce resources.’ If we accept human beings as resources thus, then it is not difficult to come to the conclusion that, the more a person is worth (the greater his price if we all could be bought), the more his value to society is, and vice versa. But are human beings only resources, and nothing else?

I was in Finland in August to attend a student conference on urban planning. We were hosted by the City Planning Office in Helsinki and addressed by one of the City Planners. Despite being half way round the globe, Finland is similar to Singapore in that it has one of the world’s highest GDP per capita. Its population of 5.3 million is comparable to Singapore’s 4.7 million. Economically, it relies heavily on high-technology industries, Nokia being the clearest example. There are obviously, marked differences between both countries with land area being the most obvious. Yet, in terms of density in Helsinki City Centre, the figures are quickly catching up with Singapore.

The lecture on Helsinki’s City Planning was intellectually stimulating, but the one point which most captured my imagination was this: In Helsinki, social housing is planned on the same site as private housing. To put it into Singaporean context, HDB flats are in the same building as private condominiums. Therefore, when developers build private developments, they have to provide for social apartments within the same development. We visited quite a few of such developments and I was amazed at the quality of the apartments. Water-front housing, landscaped open play areas, attractive architectures; the social apartments are on the whole, practically the same as the private ones, and both share a similar open space grounds. The price of a social apartment however, was only 30-40% the price of a similar private apartment! What really puzzled and subsequently amazed me though was: Who pays for the social subsidies?! The answer given was that the state and the developer had to share the costs of these subsidies. Regardless of who bore the brunt of it, the implications were clear in my head, it was an obvious case of the better-off paying for the less well-off. And what then were the better-off in effect paying for? To have the less well-off to be their neighbours!

I thought back to Singapore’s context and I thought, ‘This is impossible here!’ The doctor or banker subsidizing the taxi-driver so that he can be his neighbour?? I had to give further though to it, ‘If it was such an incredible concept in Singapore, why had it worked in Helsinki?’ After an internal elimination process, I came down to one single answer. It has nothing to do with population size, land size or economy type. It simply was that, the Finnish do not judge the value of their peers based on their income earnings. Therefore, while the doctor does not reject a higher earning than a taxi driver, he sees no reason that for something as fundamental as living environment, the taxi driver should have an inferior one to his. Because both the doctor and taxi driver know that both occupations are equally important to the society. This does not go against capitalism however, because it is recognized that the doctor’s job is harder than the taxi-driver’s, the doctor still earns more than the taxi driver, and he will be able to furnish the interior of his house to a standard, beyond which the taxi driver can afford to, and he may own a summer cottage in the woods, and he may own a larger car still!

In a society fuelled by meritocracy however, I wondered to myself, how is it ever possible for a doctor to think that the taxi driver should be his neighbour because of some intrinsic value to society, if all his life, he has been striving to be a doctor so that he doesn’t end up as a taxi driver! I subsequently had a discussion with one of my course mates from China, and he reflected another casual conversation he had in Sweden with a local. He asked the local, ‘Why do you not want to be in the University?’ To his and my amazement, the local said, ‘Only people who like to study go to the University.’ This is Sweden, with one of the highest GDP per capita in the world, and constantly ranks among the top in the HDI; not some backwards developing country.

And a rather ‘shameless thought’ struck me, maybe the base value of a human being should not be his economic ability to contribute to the society, but his effort to contribute to society to the best of his ability? Human beings are born to different opportunities, and therefore, meritocracy is a sure-step forward towards promoting greater individual development. Human beings too though, are born with different potentials and intellect, and therefore, recognition of the inherent value of humans to contribute to society is the next big step forward towards both individual and social development.

Capitalism seeks the optimal maximization of resources. Communism, despite all its attacks on capitalism, seeks ultimately to achieve equality amongst all human beings in what else, but material wealth. Should not we instead however, be seeking to maximize and achieve equality amongst all human beings the endeavor to contribute to society and the wider good? In this world of ours, resources will always be finite and seeking to equalize them will never be efficient, but endeavor will always be infinite and seeking to equalize them will always be efficient.

If so, should we then not reward such an endeavor? The immediate reaction to this is already ringing in my ears, ‘But how do we reward endeavor if we cannot measure it?’ Indeed, we cannot measure endeavor, but who every said that we must measure something before we can reward it? The governance of society to produce societal recognition that the poor and rich should stay together and in similar conditions because both are contributing their best value to society, is in itself, the best form of reward by example and implication.

Amidst the international panic of the financial markets, and the domestic furor of the workers’dormitaries in Serangoon Gardens, perhaps it is truly time for us as a society, to take a step backwards and see who really have contributed to society within the best of their means.

(The above article was published on ST Online Forum on Oct 15 2008, titled 'What a piece of work is man...and meritocracy: Finland and Singapore')

New World Order?

2008-10-19T15:19:00.006+01:00

"I sincerely believe, with you, that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies; and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale." - Thomas Jefferson, May 28, 1816 'Letter to John Taylor'

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous than standing armies... If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of our currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their father conquered." - Thomas Jefferson, 1802

The Free-Market Reason for the Nationalization of Banks and Closing The Inequality Gap

Free-market economists have always championed for removal of state intervention from the financial markets, to allow them to provide capital efficiently for the optimal functioning of the free market. The recent financial meltdown however, has seen bank after bank being nationalized. While this is now being seen as an ‘inevitable’ step in preventing the real markets from collapsing as well, a deeper look into the original purposes of banks seems to suggest that banks should always be nationalized in the first place. Before that though, let us explore the current financial meltdown and its effects on the ‘productive’ markets.

Firms in the real ‘productive’ markets will only be affected by the meltdown of banks and their inherent financial systems in three possible ways. The first and most blatant: they have deposited their finances and profits into banks and with banks collapsing, see some if not all their deposits liquidated. Secondly, they are unable to obtain further credit from banks and have to cut back operations. And thirdly, in a bid to make more profits, they may have divested their profits into bank shares and options and now see their profits go red. Ditto for the private individual. The logical implication of this is then: governments need to save banks in other to safeguard the real market. In so far as the real market is unlinked to the banks and, (i.e. individuals and firms do not borrow, deposit or invest in banks), there is no need to save the banks.

But of course in this age of globalization and rapid growth, few firms and individuals in the developed world are actually independent of banks. For the rapid rate of growth this part of the world has seen in the past century, banks and money have played a crucial role. Banks provided the credit for growth!

All resources in the world are finite to various levels. However, in the push for speedier rise to riches of the middle classes since the 18^th century, capitalists gradually found a way to make money infinite. The original exchange of money (gold) had an innate value in itself, and was finite. When it was replaced by paper though, it became much less finite backed only by government guarantee, but still managed to maintain some finiteness due to international trade and inflation pressures. However, the stock market is not subject to inflationary pressures, but subject to sentiment and perception of the future. They are based on the evaluation of value and not value itself. Essentially, credit, stock markets, budget deficits are nothing more than a loan from future generations, loaning their expected future profits so that they can be spent today. Their validity rests precariously on public confidence. Resources are finite, but the capital of future generations is always assumed as infinite. The financial market is thus, an artificial creation by capitalists to generate more credit from banks to acquire wealth and growth. Money, the only resource available to banks, has thus become infinite through the introduction of credit.

I will argue then, that the fundamental reason why the developed world has achieved such incredibly fast growth besides the establishment of property rights, is not because of the industrial or technological revolutions, but simply because of the financial markets. Instead of being a response to growth, financial instruments became the catalyst for growth. This is evidenced by this current financial crisis. The majority of firms listed in the stock markets acquire more credit from banks based on high credit ratings which is directly related to their share value. In effect, the market value determines the collateral, thus the amount of borrowing. The fundamental reason why the collapse of Wall Street will lead to a collapse of Main Street is precisely this fall in credit ratings: Banks do not want to lend. And therefore, growth is curtailed, or in firms that have already accumulated bank debts which they are unable to pay off, total collapse.

It is irrational to allow private banks (albeit state-regulated) to exist because there is no structural benefit of having banks private at all. Free market laws enable productive industries to be efficient in producing goods and services but banks cannot be classified as such. The reason is two-fold. Resources are finite and fluid, a car-making firm can shift into fertilizer production if the market dictates that as more efficient and they have access to other resources, but banks cannot do this, their only resource is money which is not a finite resource as it ascribes value to something, but has no value in itself as explained previously.

Closer scrutiny will show that the way banks function as institutions are actually not according to free market laws at all. The free market does not decide which companies get extra capital; it is the banks that decide. Rather than having perfect information (under free-market supply and demand conditions), they decide based upon a set of regulations set by the governments, and then upon the analysis of their managers and analysts. Free-marketeers argue against nationalisation on the strongest reason that the state will never have more complete information than the free market. This is true, but there is no reason to assume the state will have any less information than banks, not when they are privy to exactly the same resources - people!

Next, the deposition of money. Besides the small interest percentage individuals earn when they deposit their life savings in banks, it is undeniable that another motive of most is to safeguard their money. Simply put, banks and their sealed lockers provide more security than the old biscuit tin box or the mattress on the bed. Here again, there is no reason to pre-suppose the bank to be a better alternative than the state, especially not when the state have resource to secure military infrastructure.

If we acknowledge that banks do not comply to free market theory, then, obviously, they should not be run privately. Sovereign governments should nationalize and control all banks to safeguard the interests of their countries. But of course, there will always be the threat of corrupt governments, which brings me to my next innovation. That is for the United Nations to establish an international deposits bank where all global citizens can deposit money into and borrow money from. In the interest of closing the inequality gap, this UN Bank will then be able to provide micro-credit functions to directly benefit the poorest people in the world.

This naturally leads to the question on who will control abuse, inefficiency and rent-seeking in the UN Bank (as it obviously will command huge power). My thoughts are for a panel of respected ex-leaders and treasury heads of governments from the top five economies in the world. My reason for this is that having assumed the prestige and respect that came with their respective terms of office, their natural next direction would be to have an even greater positive influence on the rest of the world outside their own home nation. People who come to mind who already have moved in this direction include ex-Presidents Carter, Clinton, Bush Sr, ex-Prime Ministers Tony Blair etc. My assumption here is their presumed 'greater calling', and that for both intention and ability wise, they would be most up to the job. (I will admit there will always be anomalies, but every system will face the same problem of who final responsibility lies with and ultimately, it is about selecting the people seen best for the role.)

Back to the economic world, the real markets and products will still continue to be subject to the free-market and competition, but individual financial institutions will be controlled and directed into the interests of the greater public good, no longer open to speculation. Under this model, the respective state banks and the UN bank will still compete and allow capital to be created efficiently. Private investment will continue to drive innovation and projects, as long as individuals and firms invest with only their own capital and not the combined capital of others as they cannot accept deposits.

Credit granted by the banks will be based not on any stock market price, but on the book price of the company. This will also require the establishment for a single trading currency in the entire world, and speculation on currency will cease to disrupt the free-market efficiency of resources. Nations will still be able to safeguard and distinguish their sovereignty, less through the accumulation of money, and more through the true innovation of products and services. Trade and competition will be established through the true value of products, and not the value of the currency the products are traded in. Ultimately, one cannot deny the importance of credit-induced capital for growth, however, it being a creation of governance, should remain a tool of governance.

To quote from history, Emperor Qin created a unified Chinese currency to facilitate trade between the former Warring States of China, and while there were problems of famines and floods during the dynastic reign, these were all a result of human corruption and natural disasters. (And corruption does not distinguish between private and public.) Never was there a human-created financial fiasco in the form of what is happening today. Money is a state invention, and only the state will be able to solve its problems. If the free market wants to take over, then we will all have to go back to barter trade (where any form of exchange will represent true supply and demand), without any state intervention to guarantee and establish trust.

The even more radical alternative is to re-look our concepts of growth. Should growth be made possible by the availability of money, or should growth bring about more money? Did money come first, or did the goods come first? History will clearly show that obviously the goods for trade came first, and money was a subsequent invention to facilitate this trade. This is not chicken and egg! If so, then growth should bring about money, and not the other way round. However, the current situation shows that the accepted model in the world is clearly the first. The reasons are simple. Human development and education is a long-term process that will necessarily lag behind almost instantaneous credit creation. But it will necessarily bring about true and productive innovation, and slower but steadier continuous growth. However, this impatient world is unlikely to accept this, and we will probably be left with what happens now, ‘Rapid growth subject to cycles, and little knowledge of true production.’ There can be no other solution, but without enlightened state intervention, the cycles will only get more volatile.

Human Nature and the journey towards sustainable happiness

2008-10-17T04:41:00.001+01:00

The underpinning to all philosophical theories, economic models, and political treatises is the eternal question, ‘What is human nature?’ The age-old interpretation of this question was then, ‘Are human beings born good or bad?’ But this developed over time into a range of more objective propositions, as the notions of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ became recognizably subjective across time and space. Instead of trying to unravel if human beings were born good or bad, people started to attempt breaking down human motivations and actions into the simplest components, much like how the study of physics has sought to break down matter into atoms, and so on and forth. So the question evolved into, ‘What is the basic human trait, if there is any?’

The trait that subsequently received widespread acceptance was that of selfishness. Before it would go on to be brilliantly ‘scientifically-proven’ through Richard Dawkins and his ‘Selfish Gene’, the ‘selfish trait’ had already formed the foundations of ‘invisible hand economics’ and the utilitarianism theories. Leading on from this single underpinning, any model of happiness rested on the emancipation of the human selfishness.

However, a divergent school emerged as well from this, and projected themselves in direct opposite to the ‘selfish school’. For simplicity purposes, this will be called the ‘selfless school’. This school articulated that there was something in humans that attracted them towards ‘a greater good’. ‘No man is an island’ would perhaps be the best adage to understand this. The main proposition of all parties that diverged from this group was that ‘the human self would only gain true emancipation through the move away from selfishness to selflessness.’ The ‘selfish trait’ was an artificial façade that had prevented human beings from realizing their true ‘selfness nature’.

I have a different proposition. The reason why previous theories have all underpinned on either the selfish or selfless trait is because these two traits have been assumed to be mutually exclusive, on the different ends of the same spectrum. A more in-depth observation and questioning of human intentions and motives however, leads me to believe that both the selfish and selfless trait are the fundamental components of human nature, and that they act as two separate spectrums within a single human self. On the larger scale, it is the constant interaction between these two spectrums that leads to evolution of the human self and society. But on a more personal level, it is the constant struggle of these two traits that makes the human self such an enigmatic thing even to himself.

To slightly complicate matters though, there is a third ‘pseudo-trait’, that of self-esteem (ie. the way human beings view their own ability). To illustrate all this, I will use an analogy that I hope can set everyone looking deeper into their intentions and getting closer to understand the human self. This is the ‘Bread Analogy’. Imagine it is war time, and food is scarce if any, you see an old person lying by the road, in desperate hunger. You have had little to eat as well, but obviously are in better shape than the old person. On you, you have a single last piece of bread. Will you give it to the old person? Will you keep it for yourself? Or will you give a portion of it away?

Under the influence of the selfish trait, you will keep it for yourself. Under the influence of the selfless trait, you will give it all or a portion of it to the old person. Ultimately, one trait in you will take precedence over the other, and you will act on it. However, there is a third factor which may work on some of us, that of self-esteem. This is the ‘pseudo-trait’ which more often than not, decides which trait wins. If you have very high-esteem, and are self-assured that you will be able to find another piece of bread even after giving this one away, it will be easier for you to come to the decision to give the bread away. If you have low self-esteem, then no matter how much your selflessness trait works on you, your selfishness trait will prevail.

Different individuals are born with different levels of the three traits, and their experiences in society will further develop these three traits simultaneously. The immediate assumption made by most this point, under the influence of the ‘selfish-selfless single spectrum model’ will be that, a person with very high selfish level must then have a correspondingly low selfless level. And precisely because of the ‘selfish-selfless single spectrum model influence’, that would truly be the case in most people. However, it need not be so. A person can be very selfish, and can also be very selfless. How? An artist can be very selfish with his artwork, but almost selfless with his money. A factory worker can be very selfish with his money, but almost selfless with the component part he has contributed to making. The ‘pseudo-trait’ of self-esteem is what makes the difference; how one values oneself are what differentiates when one is selfish and when one is not. Therefore, humans can find emancipation of both their selfish and selfless nature, just through separate avenues! The artist finds selfish emancipation in his artwork, which he values his self-esteem on, but finds selfless emancipation in his money which he does not value his self-esteem on. The factory worker finds selfish emancipation in his accumulation of money which he values in self-esteem on, but finds selfless emancipation in his contribution of the component part to the final product.

So, and we must always come back to this for the discussion of human nature to seem to make any point at all, what does all this mean for human happiness? This means that human happiness is a complicated thing because it is not only the emancipation of either the selfish or selfless trait. It is the balancing act between the selfishness and selflessness trait! But it is only now that I reach the key of the whole article: this balancing act is a completely internal function. It cannot be dictated or aided by any political or economical theory which seeks to maximize anything! Ultimately, any political or economic theory that seeks to maximize the selfish or selfless trait will be unable to bring about sustainable happiness. To maximize something, you never actually need to know how much of it you actually have, you simply attempt to get more of it, and so it makes it still possible for an external party to help you get more. But to balance two things, you need to know the relative level of one to the other first before anything else, and there is no external party that can help you with that! The process of balancing is one of constant self-discovery and self-understanding; it is only this that is the true emancipation of human nature!

Every individual is born with different levels of the same traits. But do not let that misguide us into thinking that we are the same and should be chasing the same things. Chasing and maximizing is always the easy part, the hard part is the balancing between two chasing traits. If we want to be happy, nobody can help us but ourselves first. We cannot let someone else tell us or influence us with what we need for us to be happy, we must dig for it within ourselves. The role of the state then is to aid this emancipation of self-discovery, and not dictate it.

(Footnote: just to clarify. My personal impression is that currently, with the prevalent political and economic models lopsidedly tilting towards selfish emancipation, the general direction will be first to tilt it back towards the selfless model. But as I try to point out, ultimately, it is up to every single individual to balance it within himself.)

Role of Clan Associations in Singapore - Heralding The Rise of the Civil Society

2008-10-12T16:18:00.002+01:00

(The following article written by me was published in the quarterly journal of the Hainan Clan Association in September. It explores the main question of how Clan Associations in Singapore can continue to be relevant in the New Millenium and what their role should encompass.)

I thought the article written by Mr Jimmy Yap printed in the March 2008 Issue of the Singapore Hainan Hwee Kuan Bulletin gave a very good overview of the founding purpose and roles of Clan Associations in Singapore (and all over the world actually), as well as raising pertinent questions as to how the Hwee Kuan can continue to stay relevant in the New Millennium, recognizing the original circumstances for which their existence came about no longer exist.

My opinion is that even though circumstances have changed, we must acknowledge that the two main reasons for the Clan’s original existence must continue to be unchanged. These are: 1) To take care of the Hainanese Community in Singapore 2) To provide a link between Hainanese in Singapore and fellow Hainanese in China (and all over the world). In the globalized world of today, and especially a multi-cultural, much less multi-dialect society like Singapore, these two main reasons may seem to encourage communalism, nepotism and even societal division; and this might be the reason why much of Clan activities in Singapore today have been geared towards more benign forms such as promoting culture and heritage. While I feel that the promotion of Hainan culture and heritage should and must continue to be an integral part of the Hwee Kuan’s role, I think that for it to be relevant as an organization, it is not enough. For the Hwee Kuan to remain relevant, it must accept the continued relevance of its original roles, and more than that, it must pro-actively work towards them. The challenge then for the Hwee Kuan, is how to pursue these communalistic objectives, but with a fair and open attitude which will not only not polarize society, but bring it closer instead.

A few key ideas came to my mind when I was thinking of activities that could be carried out under the two objectives:

a) Taking Care of the Hainanese Community in Singapore

In his article, Mr Yap stated that much of the areas of responsibility of the early clans have now been taken up by the government – namely education, health, jobs, and implied that the Hwee Kuan should look beyond these areas. If the Hwee Kuan were to acknowledge the foremost responsibility of taking care of the Hainanese in Singapore however, then these very areas would form the key of their concerns. In this direction, the Hwee Kuan has already taken positive steps all along with the reward of scholarships to deserving students, and even more commendable – the provision of pro-bono legal services to clansmen in need. But these can be greatly expanded,:

Providing free(voluntary) or heavily subsidized academic aid to students
Helping Singaporeans who wish to find job or business opportunities locally and overseas through the Hainanese network
Providing free(voluntary) of heavily subsidized healthcare aid

The attitude the Hwee Kuan should take in pursuing these activities, would not be to replace the government, but to supplement it. The primary focus group for these initiatives must be the Hainanese, but this should not be exclusive. We should and must be open to helping everyone in the society. However, I believe that if the Hainan Hwee Kuan starts pursuing these initiatives vigorously, the other Clans in Singapore will have to follow the lead. So the end product of this bold initiatives, would not be an unbalanced society in which only the Hainanese get extra aid, but rather, a very developed and balanced civil society where all the Clans are helping their respective clansmen while retaining a fair and open attitude towards everyone in the society.

b) Providing Links Between Singapore and Overseas Hainanese

The overseas Chinese community was historically very concerned with developments in China and contributed greatly to China’s economic and social development through the establishment of schools and other financial contributions. The underlying motivation however, was to maintain a link to their fellows kinsmen back home.

The situation today is undeniably different and many Singaporean Hainanese may probably have completely lost contact with their kinsmen back in China. Thus, there would be no overarching reason for them to have any sort of affection for Hainan or China. And leading on, there is no reason for any sense of belonging to the Hainanese community or the Hwee Kuan. To me, this is where the challenge and opportunity for the Hwee Kuan lies. How can we create a sense of belonging amongst Singapore Hainanese to the notion of being Hainanese?

The cultural and heritage awareness are a key solution to this and thus they must be continued, however, I think the Hwee Kuan must also take a much more pro-active role in creating a sense of community. In a similar spirit of our forefathers, these may be done by:

Organizing community involvement projects for Singaporean Hainanese to return to Hainan
Creating opportunities and facilitating for schools and students in Hainan to visit Singapore (whereby young members of the association can make friends and re-establish personal links with Hainan)
Linking up Singapore Hainanese with Overseas Hainanese over business, or social projects

The key to creating such links and a sense of belonging is that efforts must be circular, and not one-sided. We will need to bring Singaporean Hainanese out of Singapore, and also bring Hainanese overseas into Singapore. The upcoming 11^th World Hainanese Clan Association Congress holds the perfect opportunity to kick-start and intensify such efforts.

The New Millennium is a bold one and for the Hwee Kuan to remain relevant, it must be equal in ambition and determination. The challenge for the Hwee Kuan will be first in convincing itself (and then others) that it has the vision and resources to take on such an ambitious civic role, and finally, to actually carry it out.

Return to Hometown

2008-06-21T16:59:00.004+01:00

I first returned to my ancestral hometown in Hainan Island, China in December of 1998. Almost 10 years later, I returned for what was only my second visit from 12 -15 June 2008. My grandfather came to Singapore from Hainan when he was 13 year old and set up family here, his younger brother remained at home in the village in Hainan and set up his family there. More than half a century later, descendants of both have reached the third generation.

The fact that I have only returned to Hainan twice in my entire life thus far belies the fact that I really love returning back and I wish I could have and will go back far more times in the future. The main reason why I love it however, has much to do with my relatives, especially my cousins there. I take pride in my cousins. The conditions in which they grew up or are growing up in are far more difficult than mine. Be it in terms of hygiene, space, privacy, or comfort, there really is no comparison. However, that has not prevented them from growing up with a certain pride and appreciation of their family and lives. It is easy for me to assume that I will still be the character I am today even if my environment growing up had been more difficult than it was, but I can never be too sure about that. Yet, for my cousins, I am proud that they have done and shown it.
I know there are many overseas Chinese who get disheartened and disillusioned when they try very hard to keep their links with their relatives back home in China only to realise that these relatives of theirs are primarily only after their money. While my family has always supported our relatives in China financially ever since my grandfather came over, I am proud that this has not resulted in any form of reliance on their part. There is no doubt that my Chinese relatives accept that they have had to enjoy much more of the little joys of life because of the financial support from us over the years, however, underlying that has been a self-pride that they will strive hard and one day be able to reciprocate. Therefore, I am delighted for both sides of our family that the help we have been giving them has opened up more opportunities for them that they have taken with both hands to create a more promising future for everyone. Perhaps, this determination and pride runs within the family.

On My Belief

2008-05-16T14:23:00.001+01:00

While most will know that I am a Buddhist, I have never sought to explain or espouse my views in public and hardly even in private as well. However, I chanced upon an excellent article in The Straits Times today, that amazingly seemed to write out of my own brain. Honestly, I was very excited to read it, seeing my thoughts expressed so well and succintly by someone else. Entitled 'The neural Buddhist', it is written by Mr David Brooks and originally published in the New York Times.

"In 1996, Tom Wolfe wrote a brillant essay titled Sorry, But Your Soul Just Died, in which he captured the militant materialism of some modern scientists. To them, the idea that the spirit might exist apart from the body is just ridiculous. Instead, everything arises from atoms. Genes shape temperament. Brain chemicals shape behaviour. Assemblies of neurons create consciousness. Free will is an illusion. Human beings are "hard-wired" to do this or that. Religion is an accident.

Wolfe understood the central assertion in this kind of thinking.: Everything is material and "the soul is dead". He anticipated the way the genetic and neuroscience revolutions would affect public debate. They would kick off another fundamental argument over whether God exists.

Lo and behold, over the past decade, a new group of atheists has done battle with defenders of faith. The two sides have argued about whether it is reasonable to conceive of a soul that survives the death of the body and about whether understanding the brain explains away or merely adds to our appreciation of the entity that created it.

The atheism debate is an example of how a scientific revolution can change public culture. Just as The Origin of Species shaped social thinking, so the revolution in neuroscience is having an effect on how people see the world. And yet my guess is that the atheism debate is going to be a sideshow. The cognitive revolution is not going to end up undermining faith in God, it's going to end up challenging faith in the Bible.

In recent years, the momentum has shifted away from hard-core materialism. The brain seems less like a cold machine. It does not operate like a computer. Meaning, belief and consciousness seem to emerge mysteriously from idiosuncratic network of neural firings. Those squishy things called emotions play a gigantic role in all forms of thinking. Love is vital to brain development.

Researchers now spend a lot of time trying to understand universal moral intuition. Genes are not merely selfish, it appears. Instead, people seem to have deep instincts for fairness, empathy and attachment. (Indeed these were my immediate reactions after reading The Selfish Gene!)

Scientists have more respect for elevated spiritual states. Professor Andrew Newberg of UPenn has shown that transcendent experiences can be identified and measured in the brain (people experience a decrease in activity in the parietal lobe, which orients us in space). The mind seems to have the ability to transcend itself and merge with a larger presence that feels more real.

This new wave of research will not seep into the public realm in the form of militant athiesm. Instead, it will lead to what you might call neural Buddhism.

First, the self is not a fixed entity but a dynamic process of relationships. Second, underneath the patina of different religions, people around the world have common moral intuitions. Third, people are equipped to experience the sacred, to have moments of elevated experience when they transcend boundaries and overflow with love. Fourth, God can best be conceived as the nature one experiences at those moments, the unknowable total of all there is. (I couldn't have summed this up better myself.)

In their argument with atheists, the faithful have been defending the existence of God. That was the easy debate. The real challenge is going to come from people who feel the existence of the sacred, but who think that particular religions are just cultural artifacts built on top of universal human traits. (YES!!!) It's going to come from scientists whose beliefs overlap a bit with Buddhism.

In unexpected ways, science and mysticism are joining hands and reinforcing each other. That's bound to lead to new movements that emphasise self-transcendence but put little stock in divine law or revalation. Orthodox believers are going to have to defend particular doctrines and particular biblical teachings. They're going to have to defend the idea of a personalized God, and explain why specific theologies are true guides for behaviour day to day.

We're in the middle of a scientific revolution. It's going to have big cultural effects."

To wrap up however, I wish to state my only main contention with the article, which is its belief of a 'scientific revolution that will have big cultural effects'. Firstly, in my own circumstances, it was not the cognitive revolution or anything to do with science at all that made me have such thoughts from a relatively young age of about 10 years ago, it was more of me trying to understand myself and human beings. And it is this same belief in my understanding of human beings that leads me to think that it is highly unlikely that the new cognitive movement will bring about a change in thoughts as far as religion is concerned, because I do not think it is innate in the average (by average, I mean the general population, with no referral at all to intellect) mind to go beyond the black and white of reason and faith, into the grey of truth.

Pictures from Scotland

2008-05-04T15:22:00.003+01:00

I know this is not done really well and some of the pictures are cut off, but I really have no time to edit now, so I will do it when I am free. After I get through the next week of sleepeless nights of coursework, that is! =p In the meantime, enjoy and wish me well!

My Family's Scottish Links

2008-05-04T14:20:00.002+01:00

Before you go away thinking that I have any sort of Scottish blood flowing through me, let me reassure you that I don't. By Scottish links, I mean family friends who are Scottish, but the history does go slightly deeper and more interesting than that, as I will elaborate.

In spite of my incredibly tight schedule of deadlines to meet in the coming week, I decided to find time over the past weekend to make good of my promise to visit an elderly couple who live up in the Scottish Borders, in a little town called St. Boswells. Now, the history and links bit - In the 1950s, the elderly lady stayed in Singapore, with her mum. My grandfather, was then the cook who worked for her mum. So, this lady, Gillian, used to work on assignments with my grandfather and hence knew him rather well. She left Singapore permanently in 1960, only returning for a short period when her mum passed away in 1963. My grandfather himself passed away in 1965. My father kept in contact with Gillian, who has now married to Ian Skinner, and thus they were known in the family as 'The Skinners'. Ian himself had worked in Singapore for 5 years during the 1950s and had served the British army in Hong Kong prior to that. When my father graduated from the UK in 1983, he together with my mum, grandmother and aunty went up to Scotland Edinburgh to visit them. 15 years later, I would repeat the trip across Wales & England into Scotland, but this time not to Edingurgh, but to St Boswells, where they had moved to.

During my short stay of 3 days from the 1-4 May, the Skinners spent some time showing me some really interesting and precious bits of my family history which I'll share here. There were pictures taken in the 1950s of my grandmother and my newly-born aunty Kim Hui, pictures of my parents visit in the 1980s, as well, as pictures of a young me in 1993 when they visited our family in Singapore. Most special of all perhaps was a Guestbook they had kept for visitors that visited their household. Gillian had kept the book since the 1960s, so it was quite a surprise to me when she showed me the page where my parents had signed off in 1983! I duly signed into the latest page, the first visit of 2008! A few moments were also spent with the Skinners telling me more of Colonial Singapore and Hong Kong, of which they would have a very different perspective as the locals in Singapore.

So, therein, a short section of my family history in 2 paragraphs. I took stock how far my family had come since the 1960s when my grandfather passed away. From a penniless migrant from the island of Hainan in the 1940s, to my father going to the UK to study in the 1980s, and to me now in the 2000s. That perhaps, would be the success of not only my family, but more importantly, the framework and policies set in place by the Singapore government as well since independance. But what is more magical, is the fact that both families have kept in contact over the years. The magic of humanity, I feel, is not only in the success of personal development, but even more so, in the beauty of historical ties. It is beautiful to me that 2 individuals, or families, keep in contact over years just for the sake of doing so, or because of a shared heritage and past. Friendships that look to the past, will always enthrall me, as much as friendships that look to the future, disgust me.

Finally, a little bit on the trip in Scotland itself. Despite being both close to their 80s, the Skinners are very sprightly and energetic. Ian brought me around the Border Towns on Friday, including some very pretty views of the Eildon Hills, as well as Smailholm Tower, which was a place where Sir Walter Scott grew up in. Sir Walter Scott, who might perhaps be most famous in our part of the world for writing Ivanhoe, was born in Edinburgh, but spent quite a large part of his childhood in the Borders. Looking down from Smailholm Tower into the horizon, it is easy to imagine the days when battles would be fought on the lands below, as the Borders was a place of intense fighting between the English and the Scots in the days before the Union of the Crowns. The terrain has largely stayed unchanged, as it is in the country and from top of the tower, you probably could say that the sight was pretty much the same sight as Walter Scott looked at more than 200 years ago!

Saturday was a packed Scottish Schedule. In the morning, we went to the little town of Melrose, where the Skinners were involved in a fayre for their church. As they were at the fayre, I took the opportunity to explore Melrose Abbey, which is the first Cistercian Abbey in Scotland, founded in 1136. I picked up a free audio guide which brought me round the grounds with commentary. I had previously been to Tintern Abbey in Chepstow, so I found the way of life of the Cistercian Monks bit familiar. The Cistercian order is a Christian order that was first established upon the teachings of St Benedict of Italy, and places high priority on simplicity, discipline and meditation to get close to God. It sparked off a few ideas on the general idea of religion in me, but I will discuss that in another post as there simply is no space here. I found the audio guide very helpful though, and thoroughly enjoyed my visit to Melrose. In the afternoon, we attened the Scottish Cup Rugby Final Match at Murrayfield Stadium in Scotland. The Skinners were supporting the local team Melrose, which eventually won the cup, much to everyone's joy. Interestingly, I have now been to 2 of 3 major rugby grounds in the UK, (Millenium in Cardiff was the other one), even though to start with, I was never a big rugby fan!The evening was spent watching a concert in the Queen's Hall in Edinburgh Old Town. The programme included Mozart, Beethoven and Schumann, and I was reminded how long it has been since the last time I attended a concert. It was a good, polished performance by the Scottish Chamber Orchestra. But I shant dwell on that either. More interesting to me, was seeing how an elderly couple in the UK could pass their time so well. Getting involved in sports, music, and local affairs, is indeed a good way to inject excitement and appreciation into one's life! To round off the night, we had dinner in Karen Wong's - the favourite Chinese restaurant of the Skinners, which I liked alot too!

At the end of Saturday night, I was exhausted, and could not help sleeping on the way back to St Boswells, but the 2 elderly folk were still clearly awake and energetic, a clear testament to their good health and spirit! These are things which I look at now when I am young, and hope that I can emulate when I am old. Sunday morning, I left on a coach to Edinburgh again for my train back to Cardiff. Before taking the train though, I found time to visit Edinburgh Castle. I went on one of the guided tours and again, had a very good historical overview of this magnificent castle. And mind you, Edinburgh city centre , is perhaps the most awe-inspiring built-up place I have ever seen. A real pity I had no camera to take in the sights, but I bought some postcards of the sights which I wanted to take pictures of.

There is really so much to say, but I really dont want to keep this post going on forever. Perhaps, I might revisit some of the topics here in the future, perhaps, I might revisit the Skinners sometime real soon after a most enjoyable and relaxing weekend getaway. There are always many perhap-es in life, but perhaps the only certainty is the past. And it is always nice to be able to look back and recollect sometimes. I told the Skinners, 'Having a good memory always makes time slow down that little bit, because you can go on and on and on about all the things that have happened, and instead of saying, 'Oh! I didnt realise time flew by so fast!', you'll say 'Goodness ! I didnt know I had done so much in that little amount of time!!"

Onboard the train from Edinburgh back to Cardiff,
Cexiang
4 May 2008 @ 3pm GMT

The Year Ahead... in Singapore!

2008-04-22T22:11:00.004+01:00

3 more weeks in the UK for me, to finish up 5 reports, and make my way up to Scotland to spend some time with an old family friend, the Skinners, from the 1-4 of May. On the 10 May, I will return to Singapore for what will be a period of not less than a year. I think this will be good news to many people, since that means that you, you, and you get to see and meet me!

I know I have not blogged for more than a month now, but actually during this period I have written a couple of articles but I thought I'ld post them only at a more suitable time. The year hasn't been an easy one thus far, on all fronts there have been hurdles, but I always make do with what I get, and in the end, it always turns out well. There was a competition in Singapore for the Happiest Person recently, one of the finalists answered that the best way to be happy was to make others happy, which I definitely agree with, but I'll add something to that, 'Make the best of what you get, and instead of turning dreams into reality, turn your reality into a dream.'

It's always easy to complain of how our live could be better,but there is this thing inside me, this pride, this determination, that tells me that my life is as good as it gets, and I think, that is what truly keeps me happy. Do you think so?

A little story about colours: My room in Cardiff is colour-coded with my favourtie colours of white, maroon green and light blue. My bedsheet, pillow case, table tops are all of the same colour. (I bought them) The curtains in the room too, were white. (Original) However, due to the increasing post-6pm sunlight coming into the room, my roommate and I decided to buy a new pair of curtains for our rooms to block out the sunlight. We decided on a simple chocolate colour curtain. After installing them, I found that my room has a completely new ambience. My roommate commented that the chocolate seems to have spoilt the colour coding in my room, but I thought it was a welcome addition. Chocolate brown makes the room much more cosy and warm, while the existing lighter colours continue to make me feel clean-cut and clear. I told him, that a guy cant have everything too perfect and synchronized or that will be a little gay. Sometimes, we need something out-of-the -blue to add that element of challenge and uniqueness. Ah, the wonder sometimes of colours, is quite inexplicable really! To cut a long story short, chocolate brown is a good colour to have in a room! =p

The Pride of the Welsh

2008-03-15T22:38:00.004Z

A few hours ago, I was in the Millenium Stadium, part of the record crowd of 76,000 who witnessed Wales win the Six Nations Grand Slam against France. If I were to use one word to sum up the atmosphere, I would say, it was heartwarming, absolutely heartwarming. The architecture of the building, coupled with the closed roof due to rain may have played a part in retaining the voices, but the unified singing within the stadium was quite phenomenal. I have heard the songs sang during National Day in Singapore, and they are songs that move as well. But the experience today, was a souful one. The Welsh National Anthem itself, 'Land of My Fathers' sung in Welsh, carries a very emotive and emotional tune which underlies an almost resigned but determined spirit to protect the Welsh language, culture and land. From young to old, the people were on their feet, tugging at each other, singing with their deepest and loudest voices from their gut. And when the final whistle went, the crowd, all on their feet appluaded and cheered as the all-too-familiar tune of 'We Are The Champions' surrounded the stadium.

I was in the casino a few hours later recouping the price of my ticket, and was speaking to one of the croupiers. He told me, 'Its so good for the country, and for the people.' And I do not think I am reading too much into that when I say that the win definitely was more than just a sporting achievement to this country where I have spent the majority of my past 2 years in. The win was a symbol of a victory of culture and spirit in today's economically-driven world. Once upon a time, the battle was a territorial one against the English, today, it is an increasingly economic one as the rural and industrial Welsh markets and heartlands desperately adapt in a bid to be competitive against the world. But if anything, Wales has demonstrated that culture is bigger than both politics, economics and reputation. A nation that doesnt have political soverignity, a region that is economically one of the most backwards in the UK, a country seen as a romantic joke trying to rekindle a modern relevance for its language and identity. Staring into the face of international irrelevance, political obscurity and economic doldrums, the laid-back Welsh character responds not by simply trying to achive all that, but to protect what it sees as most important, its soul, its culture. In a world where more and more seperatist attempts are violent, where entire cities and villages are torn down and re-structured, Wales perhaps, provides a beacon of hope, that the culture that flows in the soul of people, needs no external institutional or material appearance, if what it is, truly flows internally in the rivers of blood and the beat of the heart.

A true sense of identity, does not lie simply on the quicksand of economic success or the structure of a constitution. It lies on the recognition of a history overcome, a heritage travelled, a presence larger than the transient individual or a temporary time. To the common person, a sense of identity cant make him full or give him shelter, but it perhaps provides worth, meaning and purpose to his life. But perhaps, to the intellectuals in the ivory towers who shape their own discourses of human progress as they seek to maximize the intellectual capacity they have been blessed with, all Man can be and should be like them, since they have discovered what all human beings innately desire. Ah, The beauty of the instrumental equality they preach, in that all individuals are equal in their intellectual capabilities and desires, and only need to be enlightened like themselves! I guess I am not enlightened, I can only hold on to my belief in the intrinsic equality in all human beings, in the differences in ability and capability that are held together only in our common existence. And so, I continue on my never-ending trek of trying to understand other people.

To end of, I will quote from Eric Fromm. I do not normally like to quote others here, but this really sums up what I feel in the most simple and direct way, " Emotional well-being cannot be defined in terms of the adjustment of the individual to his society, but on the contrary... must be defined in terms of the adjustment of society to the needs of man'."

Reflections on the Week - Evaluating the Thru-train System

2008-03-09T00:09:00.003Z

The first batch of 'thru-train' students in Singapore received their A Level results on Friday. To put this in context, there were 2 major changes to the education system in recent years, first the thru-train system and second the change in curriculum. So this batch of A Level results could have shown an indication on both changes. The main media release by the Ministry of Education, subsequently published in the mainstream media was that, 'there was no real dip in the results as compared to previous batches.' I found this very interesting.

The choice of words, 'no real dip' carries a double-meaning. Behind the obvious 'fact' of no real dip, is the more subtle, 'no real increase'. So while, there may be no real dip, there is definitely no real improvement. The press release then goes to great deal to re-emphasize not less than 2 tims that due to a change of curriculum, results are non-comparable. Again, if results are non-comparable, why state that there are has been no real-dip? Then the evidence to show no real dip must be put to question. Compared with the percentage in 2006 of students with 3 A Level passes and a pass in GP (88.2%), the 'closest comparison' in 2007 of students with at least 3 H2 passes and a pass in GP or KI is 87.5%. I grant that this shows no real dip.

But, but, but, lets revisit the impact group of the through train system. These are the students from the Raffles and HC family, as well as NJC. The rest of the student population did not go through the through-train system, which means they set for the O Levels. Now, the students in the'thru-train' programme have been the academic elite with the PSLE results in the nation, and thus their selection for the thru-train programme. Obviously then, the indicator of comparison for the success of the 'thru-train' system cannot be A Level PASSES, but DISTINCTIONS. To this effect, it is glaring that RJC refused to release details comparing current bacth results with previous batches. HCI released that the current batch did better than their seniors but with no general statistics. Now, everyone in Singapore knows RJC and HCI, or in fact the education body as a whole. (think NUS) If there were any good news, they would be the first to broadcast to the world. If there isnt, its hush-hush. This brings me to my concluding suspicion that, the results for the first batch of 'thru-train' students do not support the proposition that 'thru-train' has led to better students, at least academically when measured by the A Levels.

My area of content however, lies far deeper than that. I am not concerned on the 'output' results of if students under thru-train fared better. The concern must be the outcomes. The problem however, is, if there is no recognition that the outputs indicate a possible negative outcome, then there will be no inquiry into possible reasons for this drop in outputs, and subsequently, no inquiries into detailed implications on outcomes. I know that for obvious political reasons, MOE will find it very difficult to admit that the thru-train may have not worked, and after all, its only the first year. But surely, the key here, is not whether if the thru-train worked or not, but WHY it worked or did not work.

There were 2 key features of the thru-train system. The first was ideological, 'more learning, less teaching', the second was procedural, 'no need for O Levels'. I never agreed that these had to be complementary. I never saw the link between 'more learning, less teaching, and no O Levels'. Could we not have had 'more learning, less teaching, and STILL O Levels? My impression is that for the average Singaporean student, academically inclined or not, the motivation to study is largely still exams. Therefore, I suspect that the lack of a need to prepare for the O Levels would have severely weakened the foundations of the students, which more likely than not, would lead to less A Level accomplishment. Let me break down the concept of 'teaching and learning'. Teaching refers to an action on the part of the teachers, while learning refers to action on the part of the students. The argument that teachers spend too much time teaching and preparing students for the O Levels and not enough time to encourage learning, is logically flawed. Because, while teaching and preparing students obviously require both the time of the teachers and the students, encouraging learning falls largely on the time of the students. I will argue that quality of education is the key in terms of inculcating learning, rather than quantity of time spent. Therefore, it should be perfectly possible for teachers to prepare students for the O Levels and encourage learning through non-time consuming approaches. On the other hand, students who may have been excused from the need to prepare for the O Levels need not spend time learning, but may spend time instead on other more leisurely pursuits which will have a fundamental negative effect on their academic performance.

Therefore, while the move towards a more 'learning' approach should be encouraged, the move to scrap the O Levels should not be maintained. My fear however, is that if MOE approach the entire issue negatively, they may confuse the 2 features, and try to remove both, i.e. re-instate O levels, and revert to old-style preparing for exams approach. Far more research needs to be done in the area, but the start to this is a recognition that there is a problem. Mixing the two up, mixing the changes to 'thru-train' and 'new curriculúm' up, while possibly confusing public attention and defusing possible criticism, may resolve MOE of blame, but huge questions over the interests of of young and their education will be left unanswered.

Yet, the crux of this entire post is not education, or MOE, or media scrutiny. Politics and governance are too complicated to be easily simplified in a few words and there are far more issues that need consideration, which is really beyond me. For me, the far more humble lesson is in the fundamental way which we EVALUATE ourselves as individuals. If we do not dig deep and question our true motivations and intentions and rely completely on 'surface facts', then I fear that will spiral into a fashion of 'self-justification' and more critically, 'self-delusion'.

Reflections on the Week - Malaysian GE

2008-03-08T23:41:00.003Z

By the time you read this, Malaysia would have gotten up to the news that BN no longer has a 2/3 majority in Parliament, and the states of Selangor, Penang, Perak, Kedah & Kelentan are under opposition control. Barisan National's worst election showing since independence, and party leaders and political analysts alike will be scrambling for reasons. For me however, the situation poses 2 crucial questions on the future of stability in Malaysia, which would probably be the main regional and international concern.

Responsibility for this now lies largely in the hands of the opposition coalition between PAS, PKR and DAP. PKR, led by Anwar Ibrahim, campainging on the vision of a Malaysian Malaysia (which is not a new rallying cry as both UMNO founder Onn Jaafar and PAP founder Lee Kuan Yew have both campaigned on similar terms in the 60s), is the largest of the opposition parties in the Federal Parliament. But in terms of the local state governments, PAS is the largest party in Kelantan and Kedah. DAP is the largest opposition party in Penang and Perak. And PKR and DAP have the same number of seats in Selangor. Politically, the question must then be: Are all 3 opposition parties united behind a Malaysian Malaysia vision? Or is this an opportunisitic alliance? The facts tell a clear story, if not for the fact of an opposition coalition, BN would have retained control of Perak and Selangor as they are the single individual party with the highnest number of seats. The situation in Kedah too, would be risky for the opposition as PAS only has a 2 seat advantage over BN. In other words, all 3 opposition parties know that their success and consolidation relies heavily on cooperation. But to what extent will this cooperation last? Thus far, DAP & PKR have already indicated a willingness to form state governments in partnership with each other and PAS so that is a good sign. However, the situation gets more sticky when PAS is brought in. The demographics show that support for PAS is largely consolidated in the Muslim North of Malaysia, while DAP has clear Chinese backing. PKR is making an appeal to all races, but the support mainly comes from disgruntled Indians and Chinese. While DAP and PKR could coincide their aims for a Malaysian Malaysia and more equal treatment of all races, where will PAS position itself? It dropped its call for an Islamic state before the elections. Is this a determined move? Or opportunistic.

The answer then would lie in the hands of the people. Will the majority of the dominant Malays be willing to support an opposition championing for more equal treatment for all races? Or at least accept such an opposition? Or will deadly racial riots occur again. Are the votes for UMNO votes of the recognition of status quo, or the vote against a Malaysian Malaysia. The next 4 years will tell. Come next election, the future of Malaysia will be the fundamental electoral question. Will the opposition be able to fulfil their opportunity and stay as a united front championing a Malaysian Malaysia, and retain support for their governance? Or will BN undergo a radical transformation to also champion a Malaysian Malaysia? Or will the next General Elections be a vote for or against a Malaysian Malaysia.

I think alot will depend on one man -Anwar Ibrahim. His test will be two-fold, first will be his ability to hold the opposition to some form of agreement on a Malaysian Malaysia, and then second, his ability to convince the general public on the viability of a Malaysian Malaysia as far as Malay interests are concerned. The reaction of PM Badawi will be equally interesting, where does BN go from here?

Stability in Malaysia would have huge repercussions on the region's economy, and I believe on Singapore's political future as well. After all, it was the PAP in 1964 who failed to champion a Malaysian Malaysia. Now that things may change in Malaysia, are we thinking merger again? Or will this huge showing by the opposition in Malaysia against a traditionally dominant ruling party have repercussions on the opposition political scene in Singapore as well?

The Happy Peasant

2008-03-04T21:51:00.002Z

One of my earliest childhood ambitions, which has stayed on with me all this years, is to be a farmer. I suppose this is already a well-known fact among all my friends. During my stint in the Police Academy, I was nicknamed the 'Happy Peasant' of which there is a classic picture of me somewhere looking exactly like what which I cant seem to locate now unfortunately. But why did I or rather do I ,want to be a farmer?

I think the first reason I had especially when I was young is that I like animals. I envisioned myself playing with the pigs, sheep, horses, cows and chickens everyday. I think animals are cute! And I also quite like planting crops, or collecting harvests. The appeal lay in the repetitive nature of the job, in which, something productive came out of it. Contrary to popular belief, I do not like to use my brain or complicate things, so farming seemed simple enough to me then.

However, I soon realised that maybe the whole idea wasnt as romantic or idyllic as I wanted it to be. Firstly, if the reasons why I kept animals was to play with them, then how was I going to derive income from them? Secondly, if I did not want to use my brain, how was I going to deal with natural disasters, or pest problems with the crops, or increase my crops to sell and make a living? And thirdly, in a remote farm, where was I going to get proper sanitation and clean water?

Then, I thought of some solutions to my problems and decided that some of the problems were not actually problems at all. You see, I did not intend to become a commercial farmer, I wanted to be a subsistence farmer. Which means, that I only need to feed myself and my wife. (My plan was to become a farmer after an early-retirement, when my children would have grown up and started working.) So I would not need much food. The vegetables would be a main source of food, the cows could provide milk, the chicken eggs, and the pigs and sheep would only be eaten after they died a natural death. I would be in no hurry to increase my food or crop production, so I would not need fertilisers, or force-feed my animals. So, their entire lifetime would be spent playing with me and my wife.

Natural disasters and crop failures. This would more likely affect the crops than my animals, so in the event of extreme crop failure, I could then buy some vegetables from the market to feed myself. I was assuming that I would have some savings by then. Then again, having to buy some vegetables for a subsistence lifestyle to feed 2 people should not be too much.

Thirdly, clean water and sanitation. I would have to spend the most of my savings to ensure these are provided for in my little farm hut before I shift in. So these would not be a problem. We would have a telephone too for urgent contact purposes.

Then, what about family and friends. Oh, they could visit us whenever they wanted, and join us for a game of mahjong with peanuts by the river, as the chicken eat their feed and run around.

Medicine and illness? Would there be a doctor or hospital somewhere? I probably didnt consider this much, as I assumed help would be a phonecall away.

There you go, my dream ambition. I wondered if I would get sick of it, or if my wife would get sick of it, or if the animals would get sick of me. Would I need anything else to be happy? But then again, I think, with food, water, shelter, cute animals and a wonderful companion, what more would I need. Maybe nothing. Or maybe, I would be wrong. But I hope, that at least, I have a chance to try it out sometime this lifetime. Is there any place I could go? Is there anyone who wants to go with me?

On My Money

2008-03-01T23:17:00.003Z

I know I promised to continue with my vision of SEA but owing to intensive school readings to do, I have decided to postpone for another 2 weeks after my terms ends and so that I can do some proper research to support my thoughts. In the meantime though, here is something that could possibly act as a pre-cursor to that post, something that is more simple and cute.

Do you remember how you used to receive pocket allowance from your parents when you were younger? Were you given a montly or weekly allowance? Or did your mum put money into your wallet daily? Or was it more of a 'ask-when-you-need' process? Now of course, different family financial backgrounds will allow for different systems, but also important is your parents' philosophy of money.

Today, I had an online conversation with a very good friend and he told me that at this stage of his life, his aim is to gain financial independence. That is what got me thinking. How does this relate to pocket money? Let's see!

Throughout my entire life thus far, up till now, my pocket money has been given on a very 'free and easy' system, as opposed to a very rigid weekly or monthly routine. When I was in primary school, my mum would give me a daily allowance that would be enough for me to get by at that time. As I grew older into secondary school, the allowances increased in value, but the system was the same. Every morning, my mum would look into my wallet and see if there was any money inside, if there was little or not enough, she would top it up. So actually, I never actually needed to ask. As I grew even older into JC or army, my mum would no longer check my wallet every morning before I went out, instead she would ask me daily if I had enough money. I would then reply yes or no, and if no, tell her how much I would need. This history of how my money allowance showed how my mother's philosophy of money was (when it came to her children) but would also go on to inculcate my own philosophy on the value of money. To my mum, her philosophy was that every morning, her children should have enough money. To me, all I needed to do when I ran out, was to ask for more.

Let me now tell you more of how I reacted in such a system. Firstly, I had little incentive to save money for a rainy day, because there was no such thing as a rainy day. The second outcome though, which is actually somewhat related to the first, is that I developed the thinking that the purpose of money was for it to be enough now, there did not need to be more! However, the older I grew, the more the days started to rain. Costs increased, there were more social gatherings to attend, meals to go for. My mum was not fully aware of this increase in expenditure on my part, but for me, what she gave me was still always meant to be enough. So, money is always enough. When I ran out of money, incrreasingly so, I would not go to my mum to take more, I would borrow from friends (which got me quite a reputation) and then return the next time my mum gave me. And I would cut down on spending, even forgoing basic meals. Sometimes even though I knew full well that my wallet was empty, I would tell my mum that I did not need more money. Only for her to check sometime later, and that tell me, "Your wallet is empty you do not even know!"

But why did I not take more money? It was not because of a fear of getting scolded, because I never would be, nor was it a desire to look thrifty, because even though I actually spend almost peanuts on myself, I never saw that as a source of pride. Why then? Because I believed that 'money is always enough', 'money that my mum gave me is always enough'. Money to me, is meant solely for exchange. Exchange means that if I need something that money can buy, I take out money in exchange for the thing that I need. So, for me, if I had no money, it meant to me that I needed nothing. I did not see borrowing money as money being not enough, since I always knew I would return and never borrowed for luxury, it was just like being in credit.

Now, after this long story, let me come back to the point of financial independence. It is almost obvious by now, that I have been financially very un-independent all my life, havent I? I had little concept of savings, and I never felt a need to make my own money. And till today, I do not have that desire. I have no qualms about taking money from my parents, or from my relatives, or borrowing from my friends. But now, let me also give the other side of the story. Almost my entire academic life was paid for not from my parents' pockets. Having been on scholarship all my life, you could say that my entire schooling fees have been provided for, and even now, my living allowance fees are provided for by my scholarship board. So, it would be easy for me to argue that actually, I have been financially independent from a very young age, in fact I have 'earned' close to half a million dollars for me to study and live. But do I think that way? No! My brain doesnt work like that. My dad and mum did not bring me up like that. In my family, there is no such thing as financial independence. The money is simply to go round the family, everyone puts in what they have when it is needed. There is no my money, or your money, it is not even our money, it is just enough money for now! My aunt part financed my dad for his studies, and they contribute to the household finances and the list goes on and on. No one is independent, but no one is dependent as well. I have never seen myself as financially dependent or independent. Money has had only one purpose, to be enough! To be enough to exchange for what I need or want. If there is no money, it means there is nothing that I need or want. And in case you think that I have never been poor, let me tell you that I have survived days and weeks on close to nothing. Because, if I had no money, I stay at home, I eat the bread that is left, I read the books that I have.

I sometimes think, that people always want more money. Why so? To buy the new clothes, a new car, a new house and then keep some in the bank for spare in case they want to buy something else still. But I never wanted more money, I was happy with what I had and what I have. In the balance between money and desire, people try to change the amount of money they hold, I change instead my desires and my lifestyle . I have never wanted to buy a single branded shirt or jeans or watch or shoes or computer game for myself in my life! I have never owned anything from a Gameboy to an MP3 Player to an Ipod to a WWi. My first laptop which is this one I am using now, is not even mine, its acquired on a loan from JTC! The only things I feel I own are my treasured boxes of letters and cards that I have received from friends and relatives through the years. Besides that, I cannot think of anything material that I own, ok maybe besides my Jacky Cheung CDs! =p But I am idealistic and I know that. And I do regret imposing such thinking on my close friends sometimes taking for granted that they will share the same mentality as me. For those that have not but still put up with me, I am always grateful.

That is why when another friend asked me the other day, will you work hard to earn money? I said yes I would. And my reasons were simple. Just because I know that I can treat money as how I treat it, and that my family from my dad to my mum to my aunties and uncle also treat it that way, it would be unfair for me to expect my future family, wife and children to carry that same thinking. I do not think that just because I can survive on no money a day, then I should expect my children to do so as well. The story comes full circle you see. Back then when my mum and dad could live on almost nothing a day,they would still open our wallets every morning and put money inside. Do you get me? =)

Inklings of a Vision for ASEAN - Part 2 (Governance & Politics)

2008-02-20T11:08:00.002Z

I will deal with this part in two sections which are actually rather seperate in nature. Governance refers to the administrative organization of public services to deal with policy matters while politics is the political structures (governments and parties alike) and influences that currently exist in the various nations in SEA. I will use Singapore as my reference point on the topic of governence, while obviously all nations need to be considered under the political section.

Currently, Singapore has 2 important inter-ministerial committees for the areas of homeland security(counter-terrorism) and sustainable development. The ideological background behind such committees that cross the various ministries of trade & industry, defence, home affair, national development, health, environment etc. is to enable vertical and horizontal integration when it comes to policy making. In simple terms, it is a recognition that homeland security and sustainable development are unique policy areas that require a multi-dimensional coherent approach to draft policies that will be able to meet multi-dimensional problems. I think SEA-integration requires a similar approach. It cannot be left to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to work solely on integration because clearly many other ministries are critically important. Off my head, I can think of Trade & Industry (for obvious trade and economic reasons), Education (in terms of educating the young), Health, National Development (in a possible sharing of expertise, and exchange of best practices), Defence, Home Affairs (under the current counter-terrorism cooperation), Environment & Water resources (under umbrella of sustainable development), Transport (creating infrastructure and links), Finance (possible loan schemes and co-op plans). It really does seem that all ministries need to be involved! So there lies the proposal of governance structure - inter-miniterial committees to work on ASEAN integration throughout the ASEAN states.

Politics. SEA has a plethora of different types of political systems. I will categorize these as the stable democracies, the instable democracies and the communist nations. There is an underlying reason for such a categorization. Going by incidents in the past 20 years, the three most populous nations of Thailand, Indonesia, Phillipines can be grouped under instable democracies. The common feature being repetitive change of governments overthrown more often by extra-democratic ways such as coups or 'People Power' revolutions. The 2 clear stable democracies are Malaysia and Singapore which have seen the ruling parties of UMNO & PAP come to power in successive elections ever since their independance. Cambodia can also be considered an immature stable democracy ever since Hun Sen came to power. The communist nations include Vietnam, Burma, Laos. If we were to combine communist nations and stable democracies together, we get a larger grouping of more than 3/4 of the nations in SEA which have seen stable governments. This notion of stable governments does not carry any other notions of transparency, possible repression or human rights. All I mean is that these governments have been in power for a long time, and look like they are going to continue to be in power for yet some more time to come. This offers an opportunity to form un-interrupted political solidarity that governments of Thailand, Indonesia, Phillipines will be compelled to be committed to, regardless of which party comes to power. Backed up by stable civil services who are structured and tuned to SEA integration, it is possible that SEA integration can hold firm even among political instability or different political ideologies.

To complete this part of the essay, I will touch on the political instability. It is easy and simple to classify the problems of SEA governments to corruption, repression of human rights and competing interests. However, I think these generalizations besides being helpful in promoting euthopic morale-boosting one-liners of , "Respect Human Rights! Say NO to Corruption!" or "Less Power for the Military" and enhancing the own moral good-feel in those who look down on such nations, are actually quite useless in reality. What are human rights? What is corruption? What is power? The actual meanings on the ground for these terms differ from place to place! The issues are far more complicated than the normal outsider can ever understand or even imagine. So, does this make the situation only more complicated and unsolvable? Am I arguing against human rights and democracy and freedom? No! What I am arguing is that greater political and civil service integration will help improve the understanding of the different political systems, which thereby can strengthen integration and ultimately enable ASEAN to take on an important and mutually respected role in pursuing the very goals of human rights and freedom. UN's weakness is that the various states feel that the other states do not understand their local conditions, and therefore any recommendations or attempts at peace are not taken seriously by governments. A strong ASEAN can only form when the different governments have trust in each other and bother to explain their own national circumstances before being open to criticism and feedback. Noone is going to accept feedback from someone he feels does not understand him at all!

But of course, we must be practical. There must always be a reason for integration : mutual benefits. If that does not exist, there is no reason to cooperate unless under a completely altruistic world which we are not in anyway. In today's world, benefits are only measured under economic terms, i.e GDP. And that is where this essay will turn to next.

Inklings of A Vision for ASEAN (Part 1 - The Cultures)

2008-02-19T17:29:00.014Z

I quote from Brunei's Foreign Affairs & Trade Minister, Prince Mohamed Bolkiah from his inaugural Southeast Asian lecture in Singapore on Tuesday with reference to real action to realise ASEAN plans, "It won't be easy of course. We are 10 members with 10 different ways of life, different faiths and at least half a dozen systems of government. But I hope that ASEAN will find the way. To do this, I think that somehow we have to discover what I would like to call the common ground which any community shares. It will need a vision like the one ASEAN's founders had over 40 years ago. But if we can find out how to do it, I believe we have a very good future indeed".

I think he sums up the situation in ASEAN very well, as well as the need for a common vision built on common ground which the entire community can share. But obviously, the main issue to deal with then is, what vision can ASEAN share? After the losing the common political ground of post-colonial independance and nationalism, and experiecing competely different economic development paths, what is there left for us to hold to as a grouping of nations?

I wouldnt claim to have a well thought-off vision because I simply do not have the fundamental cultural, political or social awareness which such a vision will require in its drafting. By culture, I refer to the "different ways of life, different faiths", by politics, the "half a dozen systems of government" and by social, I mean the varying standards of living and economic situation in the different countries. However, with my limited knowledge, and drawing on much more general themes of understanding, respect and trust, I will try to present my inlkings of a vision for ASEAN, a vision that is built on the common grounds of culture, economics and politics.

My feel is that culturally, ASEAN is a very strong rooted society where cultural traditions, customs and languages are very dominant. The continents of South America, Africa & the regions of SEA have all been colonized by the various European states in the past 200 years. The dominant language in S. America now is either Spanish or Portuguese (Brazil), in Africa, the dominant language is English, or French, or Portuguese, depending on which was the colonial master. But in SEA, the dominant language in Indonesia is Bahasa Indonesia, in Malaysia Melayu, in Thailand Thai, in Phillipines Tagalog, in Vietnam Vietnamese, in Laos Laotian, in Burma Burmese, in Cambodia Cambodian and so on and forth. Perhaps the only exception would be Singapore, where English is the dominant language. Now, this may be a hindrance to forming a common cultural identity, especially when the native languages are so dominant that a large percentage of the local population are only able to converse fluently in their native language. But I see this as an inherent strength, a phenomenon rivaled only in Europe. And I would argue, that the only solution to finding a cultural common ground amongst such a mulplitude of languages would be the language of understanding and respect.

Rather than seeing this 'language of understanding and respect' as something airey-fairy, I think they are very tangible realisations of it. To start with, a determination to respect another culture and language would go hand-in-hand with steeled endeavour to learn about the other cultures and languages. I would propose that the linguitically able, pursue other SEA languages, rather than French, or German, or Spanish. I would propose that cultures and traditions that seem out-dated, 'irrational' or even repressive to the individual quest for science and reason; be respected instead in their humble pursuit of identity and home. Before modern-day globalists are quick to whitewash my thoughts as an 'nostalgic romantic harking back to past glory days', let it be clear that unlike Greece, or Egypt or Rome; Southeast Asia does not need to hark back to days gone and lost. The culture that still runs strongly in SEA is one that never lost its way, and continues to touch the raw nerves and souls of many local south-east asians. These are cultures that have seen glory days of ancient empires, witnessed systematic ideological and political attacks under colonial imperialism, and shone through the darkness of post-nationalist economic and social unrest. These are cultures that have retained their relevance through the passage of time.

Therefore, if Southeast-asians are not able to come together and truly respect and admire the rich cultures of each other, then there will never be a greater Southeast-asian identity. If there is to be a leading nation to spearhead this drive for a greater identity, then it must be a leadership founded first and foremost, on the respect for the various local ways-of-lives, on the respect for the various local faiths. After that, then can we talk economics, urbanisation or development. (which will be the subject of the next part in this essay)

Teach the Children

2008-02-12T11:27:00.000Z

Just before the CNY period, 3 incidents happened in my life that gave me food for thought. It is often that we hear people saying, 'teach the young'. But what exactly should we teach our young? I type all this from the perspective of both a child, as well as an adult. The first incident was my watching of a video. It was sent to me by a friend who knows my interest in the subject, and it is a presentation given by Mr Jamie Lerner, who developed Curitiba in Brazil according to his town planning ideals. (wikipedia Curitiba to find out more). Admist quite a few themes, one strong theme in his speech was to 'Teach the Children to Recycle" and then the children will teach their parents. It is a scheme implemented in the schols in Curitiba years ago which has been met with astounding succes today as far as recycling rates are concerned. The interview can be seen on http://www.ted.com/ So yes, I think we should teach children in schools to recycle, to cope with climate change and other environmental problems, we need a fundamental mindset change in our consumerist attitudes and the school and recycling is the perfect place to start.

The second incident was onboard a train returning from Bath (where I spent last Saturday with Yun Ching & his girlfriend Li Hsien in) to Cardiff. We were seated next to a family of 4, with 2 young kids. They were playing a game making use of dominoes. Basically, a simple game which is difficult to describe. But fundamentally, it was an eye-opener seeing the process. There was a time when the young son decided to go against the rules and insisted on his way. The father was firm, "If you go against the rules, then there is no fun for everyone else and we might as well stop playing, precious.' When the son eventually decided to give in and play accordingly, the parents applauded his decision. In the end, the son was the last in the game and complained that he was the loser. The father explained '' You did very well precious, and it was really tough luck! But I didnt win too, nor did sis, only Mummy won.' Thereafter, a part of the game, he asked his children what was 4+4. And it took quite a while before his daughter could answer 8. But he patiently waited, and praised her when she got the answer. It was then did I realise that the children actually still could not count very well even as they were playing the game. But the game, was a very good way of exposing them to numbers. But more than that, the constant encouragement, the firmness in tone, but also the lesson in morals on display was quite amazing and heartwarming. It requires time, objectivity on morals but also emotional encouragement. Quite a difficult combination.

The third incident, which is probably the most personal as I am not an observer but a participant involves me re-gaining contact with a couple of Thai friends I first knew in 2000. In 2000, as part of RI's Interact Club, we went to Thailand for a CIP. A very special part of the project involved us conducting an English Camp with a village primary school, the special part being that this would be done in collaboration with a City Secondary School. So, what happened was that we first went to the city school, Sathit and met up with the students there and had an orientation/ice-breaking camp before going to the village together the next 2 days to conduct the camp. After the trip, we exchanged contacts with both the village children and also the city children. However, I soon lost contact with them as they did not have emails then, and I stopped replying to the snail mails. In late 2007 however, I decided that it would be very sad if I did not make an attempt to re-establish contact, me being the sentimental and nostalgic person that I am. So, I sent a couple of cards to their old addresses. And lo and behold, I soon received replies, now on email. The kids have all grown up, all of those I am in contact with now are in Chiang Mai University, a couple are doctors, pharmacists. And there is also a vet studying in Chulalongkorn. And this includes a village child. I was really happy that they were doing so well, and also delighted that we are in contact again. We chat online like we have been good friends forever, but if you think about it, we only knew each other for 3 days, before losing contact for 6-7 years? While there could be lots of emotional stories I could tell you from this experience, I think the point I wish to make here would be somewhat more objective.

Many Singaporeans students also go on Overseas Community Involvement Projects these days, but I am not sure how many keep in contact with their foreign friends after the project is over. I remember clearly that in 2000, after I returned from Thailand, I wanted to make sure that I kept in contact. But still, I failed to do so, yet it was always at the back of my head, and that is why today I have re-established contact. But what lessons does this give us? I think more than anything else, it is a true lesson on humility and empathy. When many of us go on CIPs, we have a sense of sympathy, and when we return, we always bring back stories of how we learnt more from the locals and their way of life and friendliness. (any of you who have gone on such trips will definitely have the same stories) However, unless you keep in contact, and realise that after 6-7 years, the very same people who you first went to teach English, are now also in the Univesity as you are, and learning Medicine, Law etc, then does the real humility strike you. And that is the first lesson in empathy. Different ways of life, different cultural and social and economic backgrounds and lead to similar success stories. That is why I think the structure of my Thailand CIP was good, because it gave us an opportunity to meet both city and village students, and the city students were as unfamiliar with the village students as us. To fostering greater understanding and relationships with our South-east Asian neighbours, I think it is crucial that our students are exposed on such trips, rather then the usual we can help them build a school, or teach them english etcetc. It is crucial to recognise that under an increasingly globalising world today, when people are given similar opportunites, they can and will stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you, and your friendships will be built on true equality and respect without a single tinge of "colonialistic pitÿ". Empathy starts when you realise that your beliefs, and your way of life are simply your personal choices that you make in your personal surroundings and that everyone has the right to their own as well.

Remebering a Chinese New Year of Yesteryear

2008-02-07T02:43:00.000Z

This will be the second CNY that I am not spending with my family in Singapore, also the second year that my family is spending without my mum. As the world moves into a New Year, I thought I would spend some time to pen down my recollections of my Chinese New Years' before 2007.

There would be half-day of school on the eve of CNY. School would basically be made up of celebrations in the hall with performances by the Chinese dance and musical groups, and we students would exchange greetings among ourselves and with our teachers. At that time, I would often wonder how my classmates would spend their CNY, because my CNY would revolve completely within my family for the next few days. After school, we would go down to my Grandmother's place, where the ancestral prayers would be held. In between the praying, I would go and sleep. Then, it would be time for the steamboat reunion dinner, with the suckling pig, prosperity fish and vegetables. We would discussions whether the pig, crabs were better this year than the last. And then, rise to the occassion with loud cheers of Huat ah! On CNY Eve, Channel 8 would normally show some Jackie Chan flick, which we would normally watch again before going home. Grandma would give us our red packets which we use to shou shui(put under the pillow and sleep on for the night). Both aunties would give us the special edition mint coins of the year, and uncle would present us with his red packet.

At home, my mum would continue the spring cleaning with the maid, my dad would begin the prayers, and I would jump around assisting both, before settling down into the couch with my siblings to watch the CNY countdown on Channel 8. I think I never missed a single one. The house lights would be on through the night, and I would try to sleep as late as possible. It says it brings one's parents good health and a longer life, I found it quite nice to stay awake and imagine the world staying awake too.

On the morning of the first day, my siblings and I would wake up, and present 2 oranges each to Dad and Mum and receive ang baos in return. Thereafter, the family would gather around the dining table for Tang Yuan. Then, we set off back to Grandmother's place for a new round of Xin Nian Kuai Le! Wan Shi Ru Yi! Shen Ti Jian Kang! Gong Xi Fa Cai! After a simple lunch, we would head to our maternal Grandmother's house to visit and give our greetings. Most of the other aunties and uncles and cousins would also be gathered here, and it would be very busy. We would have a special mee sua for lunch, and then there would normally be a lion dance performance in the sprawling gardens. Some years, we would be late and miss the show. We would spend the afternoon there, playing with our other cousins, which was always very enjoyable. We would return to my paternal grandmother's house for dinner before returning home.

The second day would be the relative visiting day, as we travelled from Pasir Ris to Alexandra to Woodlands to greet the relatives of both sides. It was always quite a tiring process, and often as a young child, I found it quite boring since there wasnt much to do at these places as compared to my grandmother's house where we could play with the cousins. Yet, I also found it nice, to meet these relatives as it really was once-in-a year. To me, that made it more precious and important, maybe to others, it becomes somewhat pointless. But I thought, CNY was not about renewing ties, it was about letting yourself know your heritage, your roots, your relatives. And that was why it was special. Every redpacket I would keep, because it symbolized the well wishes to me, and I always treasured that. The money I would pass to mum who would bank into our accounts, but the red packets were always more meaningful to me. I now own an entire collection of the various designs of red packets over the years. And I think they bring me luck and happines above all. Because, with so many people wishing you such good wishes year after year, how can you not be lucky if you appreciated each and everyone of them?

The night of the second day would always be fun. We would return to out paternal grandmother's house and there, all the relatives would be gathered for the feast my aunty would prepare. I enjoyed seeing everyone, and even just sitting there, it was always nice to be part of a big and happy family. The third day of the New Year is my maternal grandfather's birthday and this would be celebrated over a lunch or dinner. Again, a good chance to meet my cousins, aunts, uncles and importantly, to wish my grandfather a wonderful year and good health! We would also be responsible for the birthday cake! And then the next day, I would reluctantly return to school, not because I dreaded school, but because, the New Year celebrations were over, and somehow, I would feel a little empty and lonely.

2008. My grandmother, and uncle and aunty are now staying with us. My mother and maternal grandmother have left us. I am studying in the UK. And suddenly, I realise that all my above memories have become a part of CNY history to me. As I try hard to keep my life the same year after year, it only gets increasingly harder. Sometimes, I wonder why people always seem to want change, always are unsatisfied with what they have. Yet, whatever I can keep the same, I will. I still look forward to hear or see from my family and relatives, be it only on webcam. I still put my grandmother's red packet under my pillow when I sleep. I still get my sister to keep all my hong baos. And I still wish and remember every single one I know, and who know me, the same blessings that I have been wishing all these years..Xin Nian Kuai Le! Wan Shi Ru Yi! Shen Ti Jian Kang! Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Maybe for some, the more you repeat these greetings, the more meaningless they become. But for me, the more I repeat it, the more I believe they will come true, for everyone. Many a great person have said that the only constant is change. And we will always hope that change brings us to the better, or that we make the best use of change. But for me, the only constant is love and tradition. And that is why, the Chinese New Year was invented and celebrated. To give us, the opportunity to remember all the hands we once held. To give us, the practices and rituals that we carry on year after year for a sense of constantcy. To give us, the chance to wish together, that the New Year will bring good changes. Yet, it you do not hold on doggedly to love and tradition, obviously it is all going to change. But if you do, you will realise that there are many beautiful memories still that will go on forever in spirit, as you repeat new years with the same practices and maybe new people, but still remember the people that previous years were made together with.

And with that, I wish you Happy New Year!

新年快乐！

2008-02-06T11:28:00.000Z

多几个小时，不管你在世界的哪一边，我们都会一起进入鼠年了！
今年的新年，会跟以往一样吗？还是会比较特别？会有很多亲戚朋友吗？还是自己一个人？我觉得，有机会会会亲戚朋友，哪怕是一年一次，也是好事！即使曾经有过什么纠纷，能不能在一年里的那么几天，完全忘掉吧！如果，人在他乡，也不会寂寞，因为知道亲戚朋友都在庆祝，那不是也一样美好！
其实，不管你生活如何，不管你处境如何，不管你身体如何，不管你心境如何，我想，就沉这么一个普天同庆的日子里，忘记一切，沉浸于欢乐的气息中，好吗？不是一种安慰，不是一种自欺，这是一种现实。
人，本来就喜欢快乐！所以，有新年，所以，有红包，所以，有祝福，所以。。。

新年快乐！万事如意！身体健康！笑口常开！

千千阙歌

2008-01-31T17:49:00.000Z

徐徐回望,
曾属于彼此的晚上
红红仍是你,
赠我的心中艳阳
如流傻泪,
祈望可体恤兼见谅
明晨离别你,
路也许孤单得漫长
一瞬间,太多东西要讲
可惜即将在各一方
只好深深把这刻尽凝望

来日纵是千千阙歌飘于远方我路上
来日纵是千千晚星亮过今晚月亮
都比不起这宵美丽
亦绝不可使我更欣赏
ah..因你今晚共我唱

临行临别,
才顿感哀伤的漂亮
原来全是你,
令我的思忆漫长
何年何月,
才又可今宵一样
停留凝望里,
让眼睛讲彼此立场
当某天,雨点轻敲你窗
当风声吹乱你构想
可否抽空想这张旧模样

来日纵是千千阙歌飘于远方我路上
来日纵是千千晚星亮过今晚月亮
怎都比不起这宵美丽
亦绝不可使我更欣赏
ah..因今晚的我可共你唱
来日纵是千千阙歌飘于远方我路上
来日纵是千千晚星亮过今晚月亮
都比不起这宵美丽
都洗不清今晚我所思
因不知哪天再共你唱

The State of Africa

2008-01-28T14:19:00.000Z

As I waited at Paddington Railway Station for my train to Cardiff en-route my return from Singapore, I went into WHSmith to browse the books and magazines (my favourite pasttime when I am waiting for flights or trains). A book entitled 'The State of Africa' written by Martin Meredith caught my eye, as I have always been interested in developmental issues across the world, as well as history and politics. I endeavoured to spend my first free weekend in Cardiff after the exams reading the book, and I have. It was a moving and sobering experience to just read the book, and I flipt page after page, finishing its 700 pages in 3 days. I believe I have never been so emotionally charged up reading a book before, and while that gives testimony to the writer's literary ability, I think more than anything, it left me amazed at 'the resilience which ordinary Africans confront their many adversities'.

The book chronologises the development of the African states through its 50 years of independance since the first few states attained self-goverment respectively from their British, French & Portugese colonial masters. Beginning with a brief introduction of how the continent of Africa was spilt up in the end of the 19th century Scramble of Africa by Western states to meet their own interests, the book goes into the individual struggles for independance by the various nationalist groups, before dwelving proper into issues after independance.

Many people in the world today have been campaigning for more foreign aid to be given to Africa, while many other people have also been insisting that aid will only be benefitial if there is proper governance in Africa. I also hold both opinions. However, after reading the book, then did I realise the massive complications and difficulties with which each proposition has to face.

The history of so many of the states, Ghana, Nigeria, Angola, Algeria, Ethiopia etcetc repeats a similar vicious cycle of 'opportunistic acts' disguised behind veils of religion, ethnicity, ideology. The nationalist successes only led to strongman dictatorships and idolization worship of people such as Nkrumah (Ghana), Selaissie (Ethiopia). Widespread repression, and more damagingly corruption was the result as the huge riches of natural resources of oil, diamond, gold all went into the pockets of the strongmen and their families. The next stage in most of the countries would then be the coups by the military to remove the strongmen who achieved independance. Yet, these military strongmen would only continue to govern in exactly the same way as those they had sought to remove (Amin in Uganda, Mobutu in Zaire).

Following this would be the breakup of full scale civil war when these military strongmen could no longer hold control over all the diversive factions in their states. This is where the picture got really bleak and almost hard to swallow. There are hundreds of cultural groups in Africa, with different ethnic linguo-cultures. Added to this is the division along the lines of religion with Muslims (especially in the North), Christians (a result of missionaries during the Colonial times) and the rural Africa religions. The states of Africa, divided along lines of Western interests paid scant regard to these ethnic divisions, therefor there were different major groups in each State and this would provide the setting for civil wars in countless states (prominently, Nigeria, Angola). Foreign interference during the Cold War period only led these wars to have higher casualty rates, become prolonged and cause more harm. Yet, the civil wars were much more complicated than just religious or ethnic divides. They were simply acts of individuals or groups who would use any opportunity and opening they saw to further their own interests. States would support rebel groups in other states, the US and France would support dictators, even extremist Muslims would help Africans against Muslim governments in some situations.

The book ends by describing the situations in the last 2 decades that I grew up having a rough idea of. The 1984 famine of Ethiopia, the Civil War in Somalia. The Genocide in Rwanda, Mandela's release from prison in S. Africa, Mugabe in Zimbabwe are significant examples. Reading the book sent shockwaves across me as I read about the acts of apartheid, the forceful evacuation of blacks from white towns, and only led me to truly marvel at Mandela's ability to forgive such acts. The planned genocide of the Tutsis by the Hutus, was equally disturbing. But more disturning was the fact that the French managed to support the Hutus in their refugee camps as the previous Hutu government had been friendly to them, or a US government refusing to accept that there had been genocide. The US support of Mobutu who was a clear dictator but anti-Soviet was also nothing short of hypocritical as far as their own democratic ideals were involved.

Staring at the facts listed at the end of the book, the picture is a really sad one. Do you know that 30 million Africans are infected with HIV?! 440 million Africans live on less than US$1 a day?! Given their original chests of gold and diamond, can you imagine the corruption and greed that has led to the situation today in which almost all the states are in debt?! The stark realisation that hit me was that the problems will not be solved by just foreign aid and simple foreign peacekeeping or monitoring. It is far far more complicated than that, requiring generations of education, common identification, understanding and eradication of corruption. This realisation only makes the achievement of China as a one-nation state all the more amazing, but China itself underwent a thousand years of sporadic wars since the Warring States to get to where it is today! With todays techonological and weapon advancement, hundreds of years of war would do no less but to wipe out the entire Africa.

As for me sitting far away in Wales, or Singapore, I guess I can only pray for the common African, that peace comes one day, and after that, a life of subsistence and sustainence. Compared to our desires of riches and repute, it is hard sometimes to realise that there are people that would be happy with much less. That is until reality gives us a hard, rude shock.

On My English & General State of Communication

2008-01-23T10:06:00.000Z

It is about 3 hours more to my final examination paper of the year, and till 2010 as well! In my boredom as I wait for the clock to tick down, I have decided to pen down some thoughts that floated through my mind as I was doing my previous paper. It has nothing to do with the content of the questions or how I think I did, but rather, my standard of English. As I was writing, I could not help but notice that my English was getting quite atrocious, my grammar was flying all over the place, and I was trying to camouflage bad spelling by writing in cursive. Yet, my main concern was not write in good English, but to convey my ideas on the paper. My sentences were long, punctuation was bad etcetc. If it were a report, I probably would have failed.

On reflection now though, I wonder why I couldnt be bothered with my English in the exam. I am not trying to make excuses though! But besides the lack of time, I think my main reason would be that I knew that the marker of my script, who is obviously well versed in the topic, would know what I was saying. This brings me to the purpose of language. Why were languages invented? It must have been for communication. And what is communication? Communication is the ability for two or parties to understand the intentions of each or one another. Moving on...

Last week, my Portugese teacher asked me if I had taken Portugese before, as she found my Portugese to be rather good for a beginner, especially someone whose basic language was Chinese. Obviously, she is quite mistaken as if anything at all, my first language would be English, which would explain my comparative ease at the pronounciation of the other Latin languages as compared to the Mainland Chinese. However, also important is my desire to communicate. Actually, thus far in life, I have attempted to learn Japanese, Thai, and now Portugese, I have tried to speak Hainanese, Cantonese, Hokkien, and maybe even Malay. However, none of these have I managed to do with any decency at all. That is probably because I am a slow learner, and without a chance to read and speak these languages, I am unable to improve at all. That is why, I am quite thankful for the strong foundation in English & Chinese my parents and aunts forced into me when I was young. Yet, despite my repeated failures, why do I continue to learn languages?

Not that I think its cool to be able to speak many languages! But because I hope I can communicte better with other people! It is with proper communication that we can empathize and view the opinions of others fully. Some concepts can never be translated correctly, a some words are non-existent in different languages. Therefore, I really am determined to get this Portugese well learnt, with all the grammar and vocabularly. Thereafter, maybe re-visit the other languages I attempted earlier!

相思风雨中

2008-01-18T19:27:00.000Z

傍晚四点，
从朋友口中得知你已有了男朋友，
八年的虚梦，默然在我心里消失了。
我也没追问你现在开心吗，那有点无聊了。

六点，
朋友约我吃晚餐。
懵懂披上大衣，穿上皮鞋，
瓦，怎么外面那么冷？

意大利餐馆，曾经的最爱，
今天好像换了厨师。
细雨绵绵，
餐馆客户笑声传出。
静播的意大利音乐，
不知是谁唱的什么歌。
从前没注意过，乍听之下，
也真够牵忆伤感。
突然，想起了那首you look beautiful tonight.

回家的路上，
风吹得甚紧。
我想起了那么多年前，
同样的陌生，同样的无奈。
有点怜悯自己，那么的天真，
人本来就会成长吗！

回到家，打开email,
朋友send了你的近照给我，
原来你，
没什么变到。

Winter Retreat

2008-01-10T09:01:00.000Z

If you find the UK too cold, and Singapore too hot, then Genting will suit you just fine. Set admist forested mountains, and periodically submerged in a bed of clouds, the air is cool and wet, refreshing and invigorating. That is, until you step into the casino. The air inside is so polluted of cigarette smoke, only the greater evil of gambling can attract the millions of hopefuls to brave the smog.

It was my first trip to Malaysia onboard one of the newly furnished, highly advertised coaches. The coach comes intact with drinks, chairs with massage functions, and the ability to travel steadily at high speeds. I would pick it over any airplane anytime. I havent been to Malaysia in a while. The first impression I got, as we travelled across the highway across Johor, Malacca, Selangor into K.L, was that the roads were very well built and maintained. In KL itself, the roads were of equal if not better quality than those in Singapore, with much greenery and flora. However, the buildings tell a very different story. It is quite apparent that 'China-style' development has not hit Malaysia in a big way. I saw more than a few zinc houses, and old buildings. My biggest query was why the state used so much money to build a first-world roads system, but the local development had failed to catch on or make use of it. Did the roads bring the benefits to the people in terms of access and greater business opportunities? Perhaps much less than they should have. But that might not be a bad thing either, at least, Malaysia retained a rather distinct look.

Back to Genting. In the hotel, one of the programmes shown on the television was a documentary of how Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong built and developed Genting into the multi-million dollar business it now is today. I looked out of the window and thought to myself that he indeed had chosen a most wonderful place. However, if not for the casino, would it still be as popular. I doubt so. The theme park, the hotels, are all not well maintained, making it a second-rate resort at best. But yet, many locals and foreigners still flock to it. If you were to step into the casino, you would understand why. Everyone is there to gamble. From old aunties, to the smartly-dressed businessmen. I wondered how the new casinos in Singapore would affect Genting. I am sure Genting will retain its niche pool of visitors though, at least it still has the climate advantage over Singapore.

If one were to judge an activity by the number of people that participate in it, gambling would probably be a great thing. Especially 2-cent jackpot machines, it brings hope to so many, not unlike the 4D or Toto system in Singapore. However, I will not need to elaborate on the ills and harms of gambling, and the number of families and individuals it has torn apart. Sometimes I wonder, if there is any way, that individuals could derive the hope and anticipation they get from gambling, but be saved from the evils of addiction. I think its a balance. Too much hope is a bad thing, but having no hope is no better. But to make people understand and live by that I think, is more impossible than building a resort on top of a remote mountain.

Happy 2008!

2007-12-31T22:24:00.000Z

One year ago, I posted a short New Year message on my blog. "Here's wishing all of you a really beautiful 2007, made of magical moments & wonderful times, warmth & love. =p"

I'll add one more line to that this year, " May 2008 be a year in which everyone can drive themselves forward in a meaningful direction! "

Happy New Year.

Cexiang, 645am, 1/1/2008

Sunset in Venice

2007-12-22T05:41:00.000Z

And I promised you pictures. Well, there were just too many of them that the normal montage just wouldnt do. So, I created a slideshow instead. There are just over 200 pictures in the Venice collection and about 150 in the Paris one. Take your time to enjoy them, some are really good! Especially those with my handsome face =)

This should be my final post before Christmas, so Merry Christmas to all! And may all of you who have been good girls and boys, ladies and gentlemen this year, see all your dreams coming through!

Lovely Paris

2007-12-22T04:15:00.000Z

Romance in Venice & Paris (Chapter 3 - Paris)

2007-12-20T23:30:00.000Z

Paris is beautiful and romantic, far more than its English counterpart London. Maybe it is the Haussmann Effect of planned wide boulevards and avenues, large open public spaces, mid-rise similar classical-styled apartments in terms of materials lining the well paved streets. Maybe it is the Arts streets in the old Latin Quarter where many artists and sculptors are at work in their individual shops. Maybe it is the grand Hotels & Cathedrals. Maybe it is because I see many tourists, but I hear still more French. Maybe because I learnt about the French Revolution for my A Levels, and I see many buildings with historical significance, the Place de la Concorde where Louis XVI & Marie Antionette, and then Robespierre were executed, and then the Hotel des les Invalides where Napoleon's body lies. All the maybes aside, I just couldnt stop humming to myself in Paris.

But nothing is hardly perfect. And at the Eiffel Tower, there were many locals trying to sell us mini Eiffel figuirines. Perhaps it is no simple coindence that all of them had African heritage. I wondered to myself how economically foolish it was for all of them to be selling the same thing at the same place within a few metres of each other. There is an obvious lack of demand, and any small demand there might be is competed out among themselves. Do they then share the profits together? They make no attempt to product differentiate in an obvious spatial monopoly scenario. How can they make a profit? or a Living? Despite France's extensive welfare state, there were still many people begging for donations on the streets. Are these illegal immigrants? Or does the welfare state create other worse negatives that lead to even more poverty?

The Lourve was my final destination in France. Mona Lisa. It is actually a rather small painting. But it is placed in a glass wall. In the room it is placed, there is also a huge painting by the Italian Venetian painter Veronese of the Wedding Banquet at Cana. But all eyes were on Mona Lisa. The Lourve allows photo-takiing now. And all the visitors were taking pictures of it. And I wondered why. Did they personally find it special? Or was it simply because it is a famous painting? Because someone else found it special? What was the use of a photograph? To prove that I have been to the Lourve and seen Mona Lisa? Does that photograph capture any emotions and feelings that one can recollect and reminisice in the future? I doubt so, not in all that crowd. To be honest, I did not enjoy my visit to the Lourve too much, and the only reason is, I have not enough knowledge of the invidividual artworks, or history of Europe and the World to fully appreciate them. That was made worse by the fact that the Lourve does not have English explanations for most of the exhibits. Quite shocking to me, considering it is THE museum of the world. But what I did, was buy a book published by the Lourve, that covers the history of Europe and the Middle East, and its individual exhibits. I will read them and return to the Lourve and Paris again soon.

I actually think that Paris carries many lessons for Singapore. From the French Revolution, to a vibrant arts culture, to the possible benefits of planning in creation of space, to retaining local identity. As for romance, yes, it's romantic. And I wish that one day soon, I will not be saying that alone.

Romance in Venice & Paris (Chapter 2 - Venice)

2007-12-20T22:52:00.000Z

I will post the pictures soon once my friends have uploaded them from their cameras. You will find the pictures beautiful because Venice is architecturally a beautiful place. The Rialto Bridge, the Basilicas, the Gondolas in the setting sun, the San Marco Plaza, with gondolas lying its banks, facing the blue sea. Images of Romance. But, I did not find Venice romantic at all. Romance, is not about a place, but about the people that make a place.

Venice is made up of many residential quarters of middle-rise classical apartments. But on the first day, as I walked around and sat in a Gondola across Rios (rivers) in the City, I hoped I would see the local people peering out of their windows, or hanging their clothes out to dry, or standing and chatting on the streets, I hoped I would hear the sounds of music and the hearty laughter sounds coming from the houses, I hoped I would see houses displaying original works on art that I could peer on through the glass panels. I hoped and hoped. But all I saw were large throngs of Chinese toursits, barely a hint of local activity, throngs of commercial stores selling either the fasion goods of the day, the LVs, the Armanis, the Disneys, or souveneir shops selling identical and photocopied works of art, or masquerade masks. And I thought back to consumerism, and then thought, isnt Tourism a result and form of consumerism too?

I imagined, how romantic it would be, if I and a lover, were sitting in a gondola under the setting sun, and around us were the locals in their boats returning from work, the sounds of children playing on the cobbled pavements, masquerades with people all in masks! The banter in Italian, the Grazies and the Ciaos! And everyone looking at us, an odd Chinese couple, foreigners who carried an air of mysticism! Yes, it must have been like that before. But now, in my Gondola, I saw more than 10 gondolas pass me, and in ALL of them, were Asian tourists. Rialto Bridge crowded with Asians taking the ultimate beautiful pictures, the type that one can find in postcards, and all around, I hear Chinese, Japanese, even Malay. And I find it really surreal, where am I? Romantic? My goodness.

I read the travel guides, and am informed that most locals have shifted out of Venice to mainland Italy in search of better job opportunities. Left in Venice are the locals who wish to make a living out of the booming tourism industry. And I imagined again, of a time in Venice, when finance did not rule the day, when trade was only a part of life, where there was time for masquerades, music and art. When the days were spent trading, but the nights spent amongst parties. Not the wild parties of booze and little else of today, but those of music and discussions on the arts. I imagined of a time, when the Arts itself were an industry, in which many indivual artists worked and shared views. I imagined a time, where locals went around in slow leisurely, Gondolas. But really, that's not possible in today's fast paced world, is it?

At Piazza San Marco, the biggest open public square, there stand beautiful strutures of the Basilica, the Dolges Palace all dating back more than 600 years. But I found Trafalgar Square in the middle of London far more atttractive. My simple reason: Trafalgar Square had far more people sitting around. And I thought, is it only the financial centres of the world today, the Londons, the New Yorks that can attract huge numbers of people. Did Piazze San Marco use to be full of people everyday in the past, when Venice was the Trading Capital of the world?

The day I left Venice however, on Monday, we woke up earlier and took a walk around the city at 8am. And finally, I saw some local life. People walking to work, not unlike how they do so in Singapore, London or Cardiff. As we walked the streets, I saw individual local artists at work on ther Murano Glasses, paintings. And in the hotel, I saw brochures of many musical performances in the Chiesas, and Basilicas. I regretted it being too late for me to catch at least one performance. But maybe then, some life still exists in Venice. No longer the thriving Arts Capital, but where some remnants of a proud and distinguished heritage lives on.

The social studies textbooks in Singapore expouse the Venice lesson to be one of the failures of corruption in politics leading to a fall in Empire, the lessons I gathered however were : What are the effects of tourism on local culture, and local identity and sense of place? What are the effects of consumerism on arts and culture? What kind of concentrations of people will consumerism encourage?

Romance in Venice & Paris? (Chapter 1 - Tate Modern)

2007-12-20T22:14:00.000Z

I just returned from my first trip to Continental Europe in my life. Single and available, I visited the 2 famous romance Capitals of the World - Venice & Paris. Not alone I was though, but with my housemate Kaiyi, his girlfriend Adelyn, and their friend Hong Sheng. But this story doesnt start in either city, but London. To catch the Sunday morning flight to Venice Marco Polo, I travelled to London for the upteenth time this year on Saturday.

Together with Zhiquan, who is turning out a real good friend, I decided to visit Tate Modern on Saturday afternoon. That is where this story begins. My story of the Arts & Romance. Tate Modern contains mainly modern works of Art. Surrealism, Cubism, Pop Art the main streams exhibited, covering Spanish artists like Dali, Picasso but also many others. I have always found it difficult to appreciate the modern arts. They are not beautiful to the eye, or realistic. However, as I walked through the works of Art, I realised what Art is to these artists - a reflection of real life. The increasingly mechanized world of industralisation, the loss of touch of humanity, the increased detachment and enclosure, made them see beneath the surface of the world, onto a cold and bleak reality. Hence, the deformed human beings, seemingly ridiculous pictures of zebras in the city, strokes of red. This was not what they saw, but what they felt. To them, drawing pictures of beautiful people, or beautiful landscapes was more surreal than the cubes or deformed figures they drew. Society was simply not beautiful to them.

I went to another section where the artists used advertisements to form pictures, to illustrate the consumerism that had overwhelmed society. I recalled work I had done in my first year at University on the Frankfurt School and their criticism how consumerism was taking away the ability of people to appreciate and produce good quality Art.

I slowly began to appreciate the modern works of Art. Maybe all along since young, I too was engulfed in the consumeristic movement, and therefore, could never feel the disenchantment of the modern artisits, thus, I could not feel their works of art. But increasingly, I think I am slowly breaking away, realising that consumerism may not be a fixed certainty, but rather, just another phase in societal evolution.

The key themes I will leave you in this chapter are : 1) The Arts as a reflection of Society & the Times, not just portraits of beauty. 2) Consumerism is simply a phase in the evolution of Society, not an eternal reality.

The End of Term

2007-12-14T00:22:00.000Z

Tomorrow is the last day of the Autumn Semester of the 2007/8 Academic Year. More significantly, it also represents the halfway mark of my undergraduate academic degree programme. Perhaps, it is apt to look back on this year and a half, and recap what I have learnt and experienced. A type of Mid-Term Report Card.

Academically, the second year has proven to be more hands-on, skills-based as well as requiring much deeper knowledge. Thus far, I have been exposed in greater detail to statistical and design softwares, have designed a preliminary housing scheme; but also, delved much deeper into Land Economy & Environmental Policy issues. I do feel technically more proficient on the computer with the relevant software, and importantly, I think my cognitive understanding of the academic texts is also improving. In other words, I am able to grasp and understand concepts faster than before. Perhaps the most important improvement for me, has been the re-discovery of presenting before an audience. I remember fearing that my inability to project a similar accent as the British might hinder my presentations, but 2 public presentations and a debate later, I think I am happy to say that I have overcome these and am now able to deliver quite confidently and coherently in front of a British audience. Managing a 12 person group also highlighted to myself my strengths in delegation, but also a possible weakness in terms of openess to ideas. Nevertheless, being appointed group leader amongst a group of 12 British students might be in itself an achievement for a foreigner.

Socially, this year has seen definitely an improvement in relations with my classmates. Credit for this must go to the group work sessions where we were given an excuse to work with and interact with each other under official reasons, from which, the non-official interaction also emerges and strengthens. I think that aids my orientation and involvement to a big extent. I have always had difficulty orientating to new environments due to a fundamental shyness and maybe a hesitation of self-esteem. Maybe after this overseas experience, that characteristic in me can be overcome in some ways.

Finally, in terms of living standards. I have blogged many times on this in previous posts. So, I'll keep in simple here. Life has been good. I really like my place, its views, its centrality, its cleanliness, its space. Watching serials, movies online still continues to be the main avenue of passing time.

On Sunday, I will be flying off to Venice & Paris with my housemate and some friends. We then return to Cardiff on the 20th, where we will spend Christmas together, during which Zhiquan (my RI classmate) will join us too. After Christmas, I will return to where I believe, is the only place to end a year, and start a new one - home.

心烦赏王维

2007-12-03T01:11:00.000Z

学期即将结束，近日正赶作业，急性征心，无法入眠。故以拿出“诗经”，月下赏王维。中意晚年隐退山田水画诗，读之顿心阔。在此，共你同享。

自《渭川田家》，“斜阳照墟落，穷巷牛羊归。野老念木桶，倚杖候荆扉。”

《辋川闲居赠裴秀才迪》，即“寒山转苍翠，秋水日潺湲。倚杖材门外，临风听暮蝉。渡头余落日，墟里上孤烟。复值接舆醉，狂歌五柳前。”

《酬张少府》，即“晚年惟好静，万事不关心。自顾无长策，空知返旧林。松风吹解带，山月照弹琴。君问穷通理，渔歌入浦深。”

《过香积寺》，即“不知香积寺，数里入云峰。古木无人径，深山何处钟。泉声咽危石，日色冷青松。薄暮空潭曲，安禅制毒龙。”

I Laugh Easily!

2007-11-29T22:39:00.000Z

Today, I will discuss laughter. Actually, I think I am most attractive and charming when I am laughing. When do you laugh? When you feel something is funny, or when you feel nervous, or to cover up some other feelings of yours, or to attract attention? I think we laugh for a whole assortment of reasons. For me, laughter is a single remedy for uncomfortable situations. It seems like there is an auto-mechanism within my brain, that whenever I find myself in a situation that I cannot think fast enough what to say, or what to do, I just start laughing.

I think because of this high propensity to laugh, my laughing technique has taken on a very natural and self-indulgent fashion. This basically means, that even when I am laughing out of awkwardness, to most people, it seems that I am really laughing, and more than that, enjoying my laughing. That however, has the consequential effects of both lightening the tensions around me, as well as allowing me time to think what to say! So try to imagine this, when Cexiang is laughing happily, his brain is actually rushing around saying "Faster! Think ! Say Something! Faster!" Haha, quite a funny thought actually, isnt it.

I think to most strangers, I am quite an unapproachable and cold person, and maybe that is why first impressions of me tend to be quite distant. Now, the reason for that is because I am shy!But when I laugh, immediately, I become someone who seems very friendly. And after that, when I see that people around me are friendlier to me because they see that I am friendly, I tend to be far more confident in my words and actions, and then, I become fully comfortable with the situation and am able to bring out my natural best.

Therefore, I was thinking why I seemed to always have good rapport with audiences be it during performance or presentations, even when I was feeling completely awkward. I found the answer in my laughter. It is the laughter of friendliness, of perceived confidence, the laughter of success. So go on, practice laughing! =p

My Tears Don't Flow Lightly

2007-11-24T23:37:00.000Z

These past 2 weekends, I have had the entire apartment to myself. The feeling is quite different from last year, when I had my little room to myself all the time as well. I think this feeling of space and comfort actually breeds a greater sense of solitude and loneliness. But to be able to feel 'comfortably lonely' is in someways a blessing, for thought deprived of the joys of human interaction, one is also saved from the stresses of it. More than ever, it provides an environment for thought and contemplation. To some, a retreat in a forest might be the best form of spiritual freedom, but to a less enlightened me, the ants and insects in the forest crawling on me makes it impossible for me to think. So, a nice comfortable room, with carperted floor, the heater blowing lightly and the orange lamp on is better. Today thus, I will discuss the topic of crying. I must warn everyone reading this that it is going to be quite incoherent.

Do you recall the times when you cry? Why did you cry? Why do you cry? Recently, as I was watching the drama serial I blogged about in the last post, I have shed a few tears. But I realise that before I have this sensation to cry, a feeling overcomes me. And this feeling is a familiar one, that is, I can remember this feeling whenever I cried before in the past. So what is the feeling. It is the feeling of being touched. Haha. I cant help but laugh as I type this. You must be thinking, what on earth is he trying to say. Yes, it is quite a ridiculous thing to try to explain.

I think there are two reasons why people cry. The first is when they feel helpless at a certain situation they are in but wish they were not in, the second is when they are touched. But the real difference for me between these 2 types, is that the first requires thinking, while the second doesnt. For the first, when I am in a situation I do not want to be in, my initial reaction is to think what I can do to get myself out of it, if after thinking hard and I cant get out, I cry out of helplessnes. I think that is why I almost have never cried for the first reason, because normally when I think, I am able to get myself out of situations I do not want to be in. The second type of crying though, comes naturally. I just feel touched. And what is it that I feel touched by? I tried to recall all the times I cried because I felt touched, and the same reason cropped up : I felt touched when I see or experience an act of selfless love. And I enjoy the crying.

So, when you are sad, do you cry before you think? Or think first? Do you enjoy crying when you are touched as well, because you can appreciate love then?

An Update

2007-11-22T23:31:00.000Z

It is nice that quite a few of you still check back on this blog, even though I am updating it less and less. So, let me give everyone what is happening in my life right now. Projects in school have been throttling forward at full speed, and the groups I am in this year are very professional and committed. Therefore, things are going well.

Honestly, I spend most of my time between school and home these days. So maybe, I should share what I do at home. Besides studying, the 2 other things that take up most of my time is watching TVB serials on VEOH and Crunchyroll; and washing the dishes. =p

Why washing the dishes? Because Kaiyi (my housemate) is a real cooking enthusiast. Thus far, we have had steamed egg, roasted chicken, egg fried rice, chicken soup, omelettes, porridge. The list just runs on, and more importantly, he cooks rather well! I have learnt how to cook porridge and steamed egg from him, and slowly I will learn more to add to my current skill of pasta bolognese!

TVB serials. I finished an ancient drama called 'Face to Fate' or ' 布衣神相' which stars Frankie Lam and Raymond Lam. Currently, I am watching ' Heart of Greed' or ' 溏心风暴' which is a 40 episode modern day drama following the fortunes of an abalone franchise-owning family. Raymond Lam also stars here, together with Moses Chan whose roles in the past I did not like but this time his role and acting are really captivating. The matraich of the family is Li Sze-Kei or Runshan from ' A Kindred Spirit'. And the female lead is the very attractive Linda Chung. I have watched till episode 18 thus far. And I will not be afraid to admit this : I am almost driven to tears every 2 episodes. The script writer is fantastic at understanding the dynamics of people and bringing out incidents that really touch the hearts. Anyone who has spent his life being concerned or being stressed about family dynamics, will definitely be very touched. I am not going to give away any of the storyline, but I recommend this show to ALL. You can recommend it from your local VCD rental store. Sit down and watch with your family, and I think we can really learn from it. I would love to discuss it with anyone once you have watched it!

Alright. This will be it for my short update. Continue smiling, and bringing happiness to everyone in your life! =P

Onboard BA 0012

2007-11-12T11:47:00.000Z

This must be the emptiest plane I have taken in my life. Imagine this - all economy class passengers have an entire row of 3 seats to themselves! Most of them have made full use of the opportunity, pulled up the individual seat dividers, and lie down to sleep across the seats. Not too bad at all for Economy class ticket for a 13hr flight from Singapore to London.

I will be heading right away to class upon reaching Cardiff Central Railway Station, kicking off the final 5 (but strictly only 4) weeks of the Autumn Semester. Within this period, I will have to finish my site plans (by this Wednesday), a debate on Environmental issues, and a presentation on a new Airport proposal along the Severn Channel.

The last week was spent in Singapore. Spent most of my time at home with my family, but found some time to meet up with the closest of friends as well. Starting at home, we had quite a few enjoyable nights of Mahjong, with much laughter and joy. I think that is a beautiful way to spend ones’ life.

I met up with Chin Siong individually for supper at Newton and with the trio of Yisheng, Wenhui and Haojie at Tampines Mall for Tepenyaki. Chin Siong had a rather interesting way of passing time while waiting to get called up for the Army – reading old newspapers in the library. By óld’, I mean papers from 1959, long before we were born. I wondered why I hadn’t done something like that before, since it surely is a good way to have a feel of how life for Singaporeans was, back then.

Wenhui also made a comforting comment over dinner, as he explained why he is less of an active student now than in the past. He said he realized that as he sees his parents and grandparents grow older, his priorities in life have changed, and perhaps, getting the best results or being the most active student in school isn’t all that important anymore after all. I replied that he had been enlightened.

The Importance of Education in Singapore

2007-11-02T01:02:00.000Z

I read from one of my young student's blogs on why she needed good academic results. It ran along the lines of "Singapore is not like some other country where just any skill can earn you money." I do not think she heard this from anyone else, and it is probably her personal opinion. For a young 13 year old to think like that, I find it very admirable. If only all young Singaporeans have the same think

My opinion, is that perhaps, in other parts of the world, just being able to do something, a decent low-skilled job for example, would allow you to go about life well enough. Even now in Singapore, that is probably true. Unfortunately, I doubt it will be true for much longer, most probably not for my generation, and definitely not, for the next. As soon as Singapore chose the path the high-paced development, to be the metropolis of South-East Asia, I think we very much faced 2 possible scenarios.

The first - develop high-end service, manufacturing and research industries, accomodate as many of our own people who have acquired the necessary skills, fill in the remaining gaps with foreigners. The parallel phenomenon - those that are unable to obtain these jobs because of a lack of skill, will have to do with the few remaining low-skilled jobs that will increasingly pay comparatively lower than the rising costs of living. The outcome - Singapore becomes like the New York or London of today, with increasingly rich people working in the booming high-end sectors, and the increasing socially marginalized poor who are unable to get the jobs and unable to afford decent housing. The remedy - These poorer Singaporeans who are unable to keep up with the costs of living either bear with their constantly worsening conditions, or migrate to a neighbouring country where costs of living are lower and they can get relatively higher paying jobs for their level of skills.

The second scenario - which is really similar to the first, except that here, with large emphasis on the education system, almost all Singaporean students are educated to a certain level where they are equipped with skills that will allow them to not only contribute in the high-end sectors back home, but are also highly sought after internationally. The outcome -many of these Singaporeans will then have the opportunities and choices to migrate or work elsewhere in the world where they may get even higher renumeration.

Perhaps in the long run, many of the current Singaporeans will leave the country. But I would much rather they leave for the second scenario, rather than reasons for the first. As a country in today's globalised world, I think Singapore is too small to maintain all different sectors. From the start, we already did away with the argricultural sector due to space constraints, I think in the near future, we will soon do away with the low-end and low-creativity manufacturing sectors as well due to international competition. What about the arts and sporting sectors? I think you could survive in it, only if you were of an international standard. I doubt the government can continue to subsidise just local or regional-level atheletes for much longer. Maybe if Singapore went into an agreement with Malaysia, such that our citizens can work there without barriers, and transport links between the countries are improved, then we could still support relatively low-skilled workers. But that would have many political implications.

So, to cut the long story short, I quote again, "Singapore is not like some other country where just any skill can earn you money." So, study hard, my dearest family and friends.

In Tribute - David Liao Xiangping

2007-10-28T20:51:00.000Z

In a few hours time, my fellow HCJC 29th student councillor David Liao will be cremated till eternal peace. When I learnt from Meina two weeks ago that David had been admitted into a hospice for colon cancer, my shock was not at the cancer, but at the hospice. Cancer just isnt surprising anymore, and I never did nor do I now, fear it. It is completely curable, with early detection, support, heart and soul. But I knew when it came to the stage of the hospice, it could only be a matter of time, when I would lose a friend, of my age. Yuting called the next night and was obviously very affected, and then Yisheng told me online that a few of the councillors planned to visit him soon. After the visit, I heard from Joel that David was very tired and obviously fragile when the few of them went down to see him. And then yesterday morning, I received an MSN message from Yisheng informing me David had passed away. Yun Ching and Xingyi also informed me subsequently by phone and text.

To be honest, David wasnt in my closer circle within the Council, since he wasnt in SnR and seldom joined us for soccer. Our only true interaction was only when I worked under him in MAFCO (Mid-Autumn Festival Committee). He was my Committee Chairperson. I think what everyone would remember, would be his wonderful passion for the event, his intense commitment to make sure it turned out more than good, but to be the best ever. I liked his speeches, his unflinching optimism and drive, his recognition of trying times, his perserverence, and I shared with him, his dream to make the event a truly unforgettable one. With respect to all the other working committees Chairpersons, I think David embodied his event more than anyone else did for theirs. To the normal spectator, MAF may have been many lanterns, or the flying arrow-flame light up, or the fireworks sparklers. But ask anyone of the 29th, and they will tell you, MAF 2002 was about one man and his passion - David, our dearest Comm Chair.

It's a pity, that amongst the multi-facets of his life, his many images and actions, I can only recollect MAF, simply for a lack of interaction with David. But I thought, it would be good to put it down in writing, after all, different parts of the puzzle form the complete jigsaw of any life, any story, any legacy. 22 years, is really a short time, too short to form a family, too short to have a career. But admist all these regrets and frustrations, I hope David knows, that 22 years, was enough for him, to bring immense joy and countless memories to his family and friends. And yet still enough, to touch even a stranger as he recreated thousands of memories for all the people that attended MAF 2002.

And though you may not be able to reply us now, " DAVID KE BAH BAH! " Your voice and smile will resonate in my mind.....

My Home in Cardiff, Enjoy!

2007-10-28T19:56:00.001Z

After early showers, the weather blossomed into quite a nice sunshine with the skies babying into blue. I did not miss the opportunity to catch some pictures of my home, as well as the view from my window. After 5 weeks having shifted into Landmark Place, I finally have something to share with all of you. Enjoy.

I took Andre around Cardiff today as well, and the pictures he took, turned out very pretty, so while these may be repeated, I think they do more justice to Cardiff as a place. Enjoy, as well.

A Visit to Tenby

2007-10-28T19:34:00.000Z

Andre was the 4th consecuive weekend visitor to Wales I hosted since the new school semester. Besides the usual fare in Cardiff, I decided to use the Saturday for a day trip to Tenby, a beautiful and historic seaside town in Pembrokeshire, also a part of the Pembrokeshire National Park. Unfortunately, it wasnt a best day for pictures as a heavy vale of fog loomed over and we could only imagine how brilliant the place might be in summer. However, from the pictures below, you should be able to make out the really quaint buildings, each with a different colour, as well as the manner in which the old town fort was built from the cliffs overlooking the sea, while the buildings were built within the walls much later. Also look out for the really innovative use of limited space on the cliffs for little garden patches with benches. I think I would like to return here one day, as part of a wider car trip around Wales, maybe just before I graduate.

The Wedding

2007-10-25T19:36:00.000+01:00

Its been a month into the new term at Cardiff, yet, just a few days since I last got back from Singapore. Yes, I just went back over the last weekend to attend and emcee the wedding of my uncle Sean and aunt Monica. Hectic will be the best way to describe the weekend. On Thursday afternoon UK time, I went on a coach field trip from Cardiff to Newport to Bristol. This took 5 hours. After which the professors kindly let me off at Bristol Parkway Train Station so I could catch my 2 hr rail trip to London Paddington, and henceforth the Heathrow Express to Heathrow Terminal 4. There were delays to the Heathrow Express, but thanks to the online check-in system, and my lack of luggage, I made it through all the way to the Gate in time for my 13 hr 930pm flight to Singapore. I reached Singapore at 530pm Singapore time. There, my uncle zoomed us off to Carlton Hotel for the Wedding, schelduled to begin at 7pm. We actually got started at 8 plus. After speaking, singing, and downing 2 bottles of red wine, I could barely move. But when we reached home, I had to finish 10 episodes of the TVB serial Drive of Life, which took another 8 hours. So why does someone go to all this trouble.

I will tell you why. It is all about dreams, all about being at the right place at the right time, it is all about contributing to memories and moments. The 19th of October 2007 would just be another evening in Cardiff, perhaps forgettable, but in Singapore, it would be the memories of a wonderful wedding to carry on for a lifetime. I think it quite exemplifies my view on life. We cannot be everywhere at everytime, but what we can do, is use our limited resources of time and money, to be where it matters.

Childhood Glimpses

2007-10-03T22:47:00.000+01:00

The day before I flew back to Cardiff from Singapore, Chin Siong and I visited Uncle and Aunty Lau for dinner. (Their son Hiu Yeung is our common friend, while I had helped their daughter Hiu Yan with GP previously. Both children are now studying overseas, one in US, the other in HK.) The conversation eventually moved into Hiu Yeung's childhood and academic forays, and Aunty Lau happily took out a Video Tape (yes, the old VCR) of Hiu Yeung appearing on a televised competition during Primary school. When she mentioned the name of the show " 小小状元榜" , my heart skipped a beat as I had took part in the very same competition. I began to wonder if both I and Hiu Yeung had actually appeared in the same competitive round.

As providence would have it, the first person I saw when the programme started, was not Hiu Yeung, but a 11 year-old myself. I'm sure Mummy had taped the programme down as well, but somehow, I had not taken it out to re-look ever since after the competition. As we all shared a good laugh at the coincidence of it all, I took a good look at myself on the screen. I could not remember the exact happenings during the show, in fact, all I could remember from it was that I took part in it, and took home a big bag of Horlicks products. Staring at the 11 year-old Cexiang was like staring at a complete stranger. Nothing but the knowledge that that had been me provided any familiarity or recognition. It could just have been anyone else really.

Its really quite amazing. I think a person's past can only be considered his past, as far as he remembers it, and can re-feel it upon memory. But how many of our feelings can we actually remember. How many things are seen by us as trivial and everyday, and yet, may one day, no longer be everyday? I think that is where the invention of videos is quite wonderful, it allows us to know ourselves better, re-writes those periods of life that have been erased from our brains. As the competition ended with my school getting the highest scores, the cameras flashed by me smiling very self-contentedly (or cockily). Ah! Maybe I was! Maybe, I still am.

Perhaps my generation was not so lucky as far as recording videos is concerned. I only am aware of a few videos of myself when young. The earliest being when Mummy brought me to Mrs Teo's (my primary school teacher) house to celebrate the first month (or year) of their daughter, who I would go on to tuition when she was Secondary 3. The Cexiang then was barely 8, very shy, constantly hiding behind my mum, and afraid to talk to strangers. Aah! Maybe I was! Maybe, I still am.

The other video recordings would be of me playing the piano at the public concerts LPT organized. I remember clearly the nervousness I felt backstage, the fear of having break-downs in front of the audience. But all recorded on the video, is quite a confident performer who starts his playing with a nonchalant flick of his wrist. Quite a natural star (or attention seeker, depends on how you look at it) really. Yes. Maybe I was! Maybe, I still am.

I think we like to think we are what we think we are. Sometimes though, having videos of ourselves in the past would serve as timely reminders. I am glad that despite an age where techonology wasnt as rampant as it is for this generation, there is still treasured footage of childhood glimpses of myself. But even if you don't, you could simply ask the people around you who saw your growing up. I am sure they have thier own stories of you, that you never knew yourself.

The New Term

2007-10-01T22:00:00.000+01:00

Wow! I have not posted in a month. Well, to those of you that have been waiting, here it finally is : my much awaited Back-in-Cardiff post! In case this gets long and draggy, I will begin with a one-word summary of life back here: Beautiful!

First, the new apartment. I will post pictures very soon, as and when I get in the mood to capture some inspiring shots. But yes, its a 2-bedroom apartment right smack in the centre of Cardiff City Centre, where all the shopping and food outlets are, 10 min walk from my school, 15 min walk from the Central Station. I stay on the 13th floor, so I have full views of Cardiff to the mountains beyond, the Millenium Stadium and residential areas ecetra. My address is 191 Landmark Place, Churchill Place, CF 10 2HU. Sounds grand, but its really just your typical condominium unit. Considering only 2 of us stay inside though, (my roommate is Malaysian civil engineer called Kaiyi) its really spacious. I have colour themed my room( again, wait for the pictures), and all furniture has been furnished by the landlord. Thus far, we have been cooking ourselves, the usual egg and bacon breakfast, the pasta meals, simple vegetables and stew to come soon!

Next, lifestyle. I wake up at about 8 am everyday to make myself breakfast or do some tidying. Have bought a few very good classical CDs of my favourite Mozart and Chopin and they play in the house all day long. So basically, once you step into the apartment, the wonderful sounds of the orchestra or the piano welcomes you. The lights are a nice romantic shade of dark yellow. I make it a point to have a glass of red wine everynight now as I look out and admire the nightsky. Weekend nights are spent simply chatting with Kaiyi on the couch on life, aspirations, family etc. The past weekend Calvin and Evelyn were here to discuss out Marina project, again a very intellectual discussion that opened up my eyes architecturally at least. Trips to Gala have been amazingly fruitful, such that even after buying school textbooks, pillowcases, a wireless router, bedsheets and groceries, etc, my bank account actually hasnt diminished since I landed in Cardiff. I will leave the amount to your imagination.

School just started today actually, but it was nice to see the people I have not met in 4 months. Even with those I hardly spoke to the entire term last year, it still gave me a very nice feeling of familiarity. It was of course, a joy to meet those that I have been closer to. Coursework this year is rather big-scale and requires a fair bit of group work. So yes, I am more than ready, really. Have also visited Aunty Susan's place, again another sense of familiarity. Come to think of it, ever since stepping down in London, I met Watson and Jiawei by chance, Yun Ching by slight arrangements too. It has been a very quick, smooth and easy re-settling.

Ah, basically, life's quite beautiful now. The bottomeline really, is that it would be really unforgivable if I do not do well this year, considering my living conditions are countless times better than last's! Not that I did not do well last year though! =p

Cheers to you whenever you are reading this! =Pp

如果生命是一首曲子

2007-08-28T10:09:00.000+01:00

This was written by my music teacher Mr Wong Jia Yit and published in his online forum (http://quyi.net/wenyi) . My heart resonates with its beauty, optimism and determination. Does yours?

如果生命是一首曲子
让我用真情谱写
阳光下
有交响的浩瀚
月夜荡漾蓝调的随性

如果生命是一首曲子
让音符释放着情
感让休止符静坐沉思
音符休止符走过的都是无憾

如果生命是一首曲子
后头留下的是韵味
向前流泻的是勇气
赞叹也罢感动掉泪也罢
甜酸苦辣风雨飘摇间我走出自己

On National Day Parade

2007-08-09T19:57:00.000+01:00

Watching this year's National Day Parade from the comfort of my couch at home, it dawned on me why the feeling felt rather unfamiliar - I had not watched NDP at home since 2001.

Since young, I would have the habit of watching the Parade on television. My whole family would watch as we would see the helicopter carrying the Singapore flag fly past the tv screen, and then rush to look out of the window as it flew past in the skies. Or see the jets zoom past the National Stadium, and then wait for the loud sounds above Thomson or Pasir Ris. Not too sure if any of you have such similar recollections.

In 2002, I attended my first National Day Parade, but in the special capacity as a host. Even though it was my first Parade live myself! Being part of the Taiwan Immersion Programme, I received tickets to bring me and my guest from Taiwan to the National Stadium. Stefanie Sun sang the theme song that year, and I remember marvelling at how the Taiwanese seemed more excited at seeing her than the Singapore hosts ourselves. At the end of the Parade, the Taiwanese students were very impressed with the fireworks and the carnival patroitic atmosphere. I was proud that after 36 of independance, my country had both military discipline, as well as unbrideled passion to show off.

Fast forward to 2004, I remember on my first day of enlistment into the Singapore Police Force Officer Cadet Course, we were informed that we would be marching as the Guard-of-Honour contingent at NDP. I had hated marching ever since BMT, but what come after was really quite bad. 3 months before the Parade, we were already training 2-3 times a week. Every Wednesday, we would troop down to Khatib Camp for rehearsals, and every Saturday it would be the Stadium itself. The irritation with the repeated rehearsals was incresingly replaced with the fear of messing up as the Parade drew near. Even though there were so many of us, and we could hardly be seen cleary from the spectator stands, there was still the fear of 'all eyes on you', and there was still the television cameras! But I do remember feeling a sense of accomplishment as I marched out of the Stadium for the march past on the day itself, if not for the deafening cries of the crowd, still for the remarkable effort I had had to put in.

The love story with NDP continued to 2005. This time, I was sitting in the Operations Control Room of the SPF with the Deputy Commisioner of Police watching the procudures from the CCTV cameras. We were activated from the early morning, setting up the Mobile Control Room (control room set-up in a vehicle) , watching the crowds from the various MRT stations filter into the National Stadium, till the crowd cleared after the Parade ended. There wasnt really much to do really, as there were no security threats. But looking at the crowds from the cameras, the horrifying thought of what would happen in the event of an attack did fleet past my mind, but I think we were quite ready.

2006 would have been the first time in 5 years I watched the NDP from home, but instead, I watched it from the television in the Singapore General Hospital ward. My mum had been admitted just a week before National Day. I remember some relatives of patients wheeling the patients into the corridors of the ward so that they could see the fireworks from the window. I didnt really know if the patients could appreciate the fireworks at all, being ill as they were. Were the smiles on their faces true smiles of joy as the fireworks erupted into the skies? Or did they simply want to give their relatives something to be happy about, while their hearts feared that it might be their last time watching fireworks? I really do not know. But I know that on National Day, the mood in the ward seemed much more lively than normal, as relatives and friends of patients took the chance of the public holiday to accompany their loved ones. That night, a few of my friends brought me to Kbox in Chinatown to unwind. We had frog's porridge thereafter. I am not too sure how many of them remember that as well.

2007. As I watched the Parade, with my Dad, Grandmother and sister, these are the thoughts and memories that flashed through. I will be flying to Hong Kong later today. Could have flown on National Day itself. Somehow decided to stay in Singapore for the Parade.

张学友2007光年演唱会观后感

2007-07-15T16:22:00.000+01:00

2007 年7 月13 日。阔别新加坡五年的张学友，再次回到了室内体育场，开始一连串三天的演出。2002 年，也是7月上中旬，我在室内体育场，观看了生平第一场演唱会，同样的，也是张学友。其实一向来，都蛮沾沾自喜，因为我同张，省日也同时这段期间，他生日10日，我11日。所以，张学友的演唱会，也就是我2002与2007 年最期待的生日礼物。可惜，2002 年，我是带着高烧观看演出，如果并非偶像演出，那时的130块，我都愿意弃权，在家里养病。也正如此，2007 年7 月13日，我一直在等。

张学友4个钟头，不停地唱，跳，演，说，23 年的顶峰光辉，在40首耳熟能详，亦熟亦疏的歌曲中，让万名观众回味不尽。观众席，座无缺席，比学友年轻20岁的20初的也有，比他大20岁的60多的亦有！看着整体观众，随着1991年的《每天爱你多一些》慢摇，2003 年的《讲你知》挥手，我顿觉得，有了张学友，还哪有什么代沟？我只能想象，这些歌，对体育场中的多少对夫妇，情人，又有着多少个回忆呢？

老实说，羡慕张学友，非因他是歌神。的确，论巨星风范，我还是觉得张国荣才是最巅，论歌声，也不是每个人喜欢张学友的声音。但是，你如果去了学友的演唱会，用心听他说的话，对人生，对家庭的价值观，无可否认，张学友，是神中，最成功的人。也因为这样，他对妻子唱“我愿意用我十年，换来与你共十天”时，那么的真。。。。

Happy 22nd Birthday.

2007-07-11T16:12:00.000+01:00

Today is my 22nd birthday. Went out with my aunty and dad for tim sum buffet in the afternoon, followed by kopi at sin ming with my uncle and then dinner at tampines round market with my siblings, dad and aunty. And, thus completes the twenty-second year of little cexiang's life.

I think on one's birthdays, I normally reflect on two things. The first being gratefulness to my parents, and the second, on the amount of joy that I have brought to people around me. Every baby that is born brings much excitement and happiness to his family. I hope that as al babies grow older, they only bring such happiness to an increasing number of people, at least, maintain that for their families.

I do hope my existence continues to bring laughter and happiness to people around me! Thank you for all the well wishes, thank you very much!

小学同学

2007-06-20T18:53:00.000+01:00

今天出席了一个小学同学的聚会，也不是什么大型的东西，只不过几个同学在小学附近的勿洛85巴刹吃晚饭。这些大多都是小二时的同班同学，计算来已经认识了十五年，但有些，也已将近十年没见面。吃晚饭，大家到了马林百列的Kbox唱歌。虽相识多年，但从没跟这些同学一起唱过歌，毕竟唱歌是初院学期才开始的体验。最后两首，点了两首“朋友”，一首谭咏麟的广东版，另一首周华建的中文版，也是我们小六毕业时的毕业歌。广东版只有我会唱，唱到一半，大家主动跟着节奏拍掌。唱歌拍掌，并非第一次，但眼前是多么多年的朋友，突然感慨万分。聚会就这样在高歌中结束，然后送了每个回家。

小学同学在心里永远都是小学同学。对于那段回忆，大家似乎都挺模糊，但却只记得是多么美好。追问为什么，也没人答得出。小学吗，每天在学校了一起讲话的就是朋友，回家后也只到第二天上学时才见面。有些人说小学同学其实是最肤浅的，认识你最少的。但难道你不会觉得，人，其实认识得越少，就越美丽？

附上谭版朋友的歌词，你或许也体味得到那种感慨，深受：

繁星流动
和你同路
从不相识开始心接近
默默以真挚待人
人生如梦
朋友如雾
难得知心几经风暴
为着我不退半步
正是你
遥遥晚空点点星光息息相关
你我那怕荆棘铺满路
替我解开心中的孤单
是谁明白我
情同两手一起开心一起悲伤
彼此分担不分我或你
你为了我
我为了你
共赴患难绝望里
紧握你手
朋友

结婚

2007-06-16T07:54:00.000+01:00

这两天一直在下雨。爸爸感叹，“二十三年的今天，我跟你母亲结婚了。真可惜，二十五周年都无法一起度过。” 自己记忆力也模糊记得，以前的这天，母亲会埋怨父亲没有特别记得庆祝。碰巧，今天晚上，一位亲戚结婚了，待会儿参加他们的晚宴，不知父亲会如何感慨。我想，他也从来都没忘记这个日子，只是一直以来都以二十五年作为目标，到时隆重庆祝一番。但你说命运弄人也好，说什么也]好，现在，只好天地一起落泪。

其实很多人都知道，我一向来都很想二十五岁结婚。这几年来，每次参加亲戚的婚礼，我都会幻想，几时才轮到我呢？真的好荒谬。都没有对象，跟谁结婚？有时想，有这种想法，好骄傲，好自私。都没人要我，我还想什么呢？目标是死的，人是活的，我也从来什么都没希望去控制，最终，也只是一个梦想。曾经希望，还没认识到未来妻子，也曾经祈祷，已经认识。但我也很想知道，缘分能有多久。不要太短，我怕那时真的承受不起。我心目中，妻子，就像母亲，只能有一个。

你看得懂我写什么吗？如果看不懂，也不是我故意写得不清不楚。很多时候，我真的都不知道我在想什么。只有一点感觉，一丝梦想。。。

白沙海滩

2007-06-11T23:43:00.000+01:00

侧夜难眠。五点时分，开始逆跑一年前的归家途。一样的心急，一样的犹豫。跑过了卖水店，脚车出租店已夷为平地。零六年的这个月，你跌倒了。继续跑，直至到了昔日的渔村。除了木牌换了，一切犹如昨天。零六年的第一分钟，你拿了小炮，全家一起庆祝。走上石块，不停俳徊，海水低潮了。回到了这么多年，你们坐的同样的位子。五点五十分，无端端下起了绵绵细雨。我终于也拿下了眼镜，落泪。边泣边唱，“不要再哭了，我还好，真的！”，心中却有多么渴望你永远轻抚我的脸。不到三分钟吧，雨停了。雾雨凄迷。

六点正，拾起步伐，平复的心情，也不知该向谁道别，独行返家。途中，一对老夫妇，手里拿着收音机往海边走，应该是去打太极气功。原来今生也别无所求。

芽茏

2007-06-08T21:39:00.000+01:00

娼妓，美食，宗乡会馆，庙堂。芽茏是个寻欢的地方。这里的建筑，大多保持着60，70年代的风格。这里，大多数居民都已非本土人，而是外国劳工；大多会馆似乎也以冷清多年，庙堂虽还开着，但也不算香烟袅袅。但走在芽茏的街上，似乎还能体味昨天的新加坡。为什么？因为寻欢。我很想问那些衣服不正，坐在路旁的老头，是现在好玩，还是以前好玩？你是不是在这里梦幻地过了一生中上半的夜晚？也很想问坐在咖啡店吃饭的人，这里真那么好吃吗？还是这里似乎不是新加坡？是个世外乐园？

Encore!

2007-06-02T23:12:00.000+01:00

And for the finale, a wonderfully inspirational picture of me looking down from the Brecon Beacons. Looking down from such heights at such vastness of land and resevoirs, it's not hard to think the emotions running through me then, were ones of awe and wonder. But to tell you the truth, at the exact time this picture was taken, all I was doing was looking at a father bringing his little girl hike carefully down the rocks. And all I was feeling was one of warmth, at the encouragement of the father, and the determination of the daughter. Nothing really beats the family, not even if you are at the top.

But yes, in less than 48 hours, I will be right back at home! But those of you who cant even wait that amount of time, here is a sneak preview of me, filmed specially just for you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egc5vfqd5uY

Till we meet again,

Cexiang

Corn Du & Pen Y Fan, Brecon Beacons

2007-06-02T22:44:00.000+01:00

Quite fittingly, I spent the final day in Wales for my first academic year scaling the highest peak in South Britain with a visiting friend from the States, Hiu Yeung. I think the best feeling of the journey, was walking along the flat top of the mountains, not just standing, but walking on the top of the world. Many people climb up steep mountains, only to view the wonderful view standing at the peak. But being able to walk leisurely on the top of a mountain ridge, which seems to run on forever, is like, for lack of a better analogy, being the best in something and yet knowing you will be the best for some time yet, even without any more effort. Life almost never provides such opportunities, but sometimes nature does!

Tonight is my last night in this room 6-2-2-5 of mine, and quite ironically, I will not be spending it alone but with a friend. On Thursday night, which was my last night alone in the room, I was thinking of all the memories I would have of the room, the nights where I felt lonely, the days where I felt great momentum to complete report after report, the nights spent watching Youtube videos of old concerts, the days spent chatting with so many people. But it is fitting, that the final post of the school term, ends off with the similar theme as so many posts before - discovering the world with a good friend. I definitely look forward to more family members and friends coming over. Next time, I will venture even further, to lands yet more unknown, but still to be overcome!

More pictures of Rhosili and Me

2007-05-30T17:34:00.000+01:00

A Break In Between - Bjorn & Rhosili

2007-05-30T13:17:00.000+01:00

In the ten days between my 2 exam papers, I decided that I would take a short break and ease my brain. Thus, I invited Bjorn(who had finished his exams) over to Cardiff. We spent the first day walking around Cardiff. I realised having brought so many people around, and having walked around myself quite a bit, I was really quite able to show him many different parts of Cardiff. The night was spent talking. We talked from ten till about three in the morning. There seemed to be so much to talk about, sharing our experiences in the last 4 years since we left Hwa Chong, and then reminiscing our times and teachers in Raffles, and HC. I wouldn't say we ever were the closest of friends, but the quantity of time spent together, coupled with the quality of life we experienced, made for a night of many stories and memories.

I then planned a trip west to the Gower Peninsular in Swansea to view what was voted last year as one of Britain's finest sight. Rhosili Bay isn't your major international tourist attraction, nothing much in Wales actually is, perhaps overshadowed by England, or continental Europe. However, it has always intrigued me to go to these lesser none places of outstanding beauty, where there are fewer tourists, but more of unspoiled nature. You get more the feeling of being an adventurer than a tourist.

Rhosili Bay is quite a picture of rolling hills, meeting the sea across a long and wide stretch of sandy bay, with a little island Worm's Head in the distance, and rocky cliffs at one end of the bay. I never am able to describe scenery well, and will leave the pictures to do the talking. Perhaps the biggest regret of the trip, was out inability to cross over the Worm's Head. This was due to the high tide, covering up the pebbled causeway. We were about half an hour late and got as far as 200m from the island, before we had to turn back. Why the regret? They are seals and seal pups on the island! And I missed my opportunity to see seals in the wild for the first time. What a waste!

However, one really can have no complains about the view and sense of exhilaration one feels upon reaching, seeing and feeling Rhosili. The hour's train ride from Cardiff to Swansea, and then another hour's bus ride from Swansea City Centre to the coast, was all worth it. By the time I got back to Cardiff, and Bjorn returned to London, while physically, my legs were worn out, mentally, my brain was refreshed and ready to mount my final ascent of the year. June 1st 2007, my final paper in Year One. Marx and the Frankfurt School.

And in four days from now, I will be home.

On Overseas Vacations

2007-05-16T04:03:00.000+01:00

I was scrolling through some news articles on Channelnewsasia.com when I came across a remark which put me off for quite a while. With reference to Singaporeans going on overseas vacations, CEO NATAS Robert Khoo had this to say, "…anything below $2000 nowadays is easily affordable for Singaporeans." I think the first immediate thought that came to my mind was a calculation for such a vacation for my family. Five of us (my parents and three children), multiplied by even $1000, is $5000. Considering an average pay of $2500 a month, in a single-parent working family, that is equivalent to 2 full months of pay. That definitely cannot be easily affordable for most or even a slight majority of Singaporeans. Perhaps what he meant was, for individual working adults going on holidays, a vacation under $2000, is getting more and more affordable. But for families, I think there is still quite a long way to go, especially when you have three non-income earning but income-sucking children.

And as I was thinking, I grew to fully appreciate the almost yearly overseas vacations my family used to take when we were a younger family some 8-10 years back. Now as I am all grown up and able to afford to fly all over the world, it might be easy to think that travelling overseas is no big deal anyway. But it was a big deal. I always looked forward to the year end travels when I was younger, the airplane rides, the first time seeing Australia, China, the comfort of just enjoying the place without worrying about the luggage, the costs (which were all settled by mum and dad). It is a unique and irreplacable experience. Lucky are the children born to enjoy such moments, born to parents willing to work hard and spend the money on such moments for their children. And yet, I wonder, how many children actually get this opportunity? How many parents are there out there, who try so hard to earn money so that they can bring their children to that one end of year treat after the exams? And yet how many others, who will never earn enough to feed the mouths, much less go on holidays? If you really think about it, its not forever that you can travel with your family overseas when you are a child, at most, the opportunity time span is 8-10 years, from which you are maybr 5 to 16 years old? Thereafter, you are no longer a child, you want to travel with your friends, you think you can take care of yourself, and you are less willing to take care of your parents instead?

We used to take many photographs on our family vacations, with album after album kept at home, from Korea, to Beijing, Perth, Gold Coast, Jakarta, Hainan Island, Japan, Taiwan.....I think the majority of family pictures were taken overseas, that's not unusual as few people take pictures when they are at home, or in their home country. (A sidenote: I know friends who go overseas and start taking pictures of all meals they eat overseas, even if it is just fish and chips. I find it quite ridiculous. Why dont they take all the food they eat in Singapore then, surely it is no less good-looking.) So, I think when people look back, it is overseas vacations that surely does give many memorable moments of a concentrated period of enjoyment, relaxation and joy. I think I wrote somewhere before that all students in Singapore should be given grants to go overseas at least once when they are in school, I think I will add to that now - they should be entitled to another once, this time with their entire family. I think using that bit of taxpayers' money to reward a family with family memories is definitely a worthy cause. Quite idealist again, eh? But then again, without dreams and ideas, this blog wouldnt exist.

Singapore is Not a City...

2007-05-11T23:44:00.000+01:00

but a Country.

The announcement by Minister of State for Trade & Industry that Singapore would be hosting an F1 race right in the city centre next year would have been met by excitement and enthusiasm across Singapore, with perhaps the glaring exception of the Traffic Police who will already be messing with their brains on what traffic plans to put in place to ensure the roads designated for the race are blocked off, other roads that may pose a threat to terrorism are blocked off, and yet, access into the city doesnt come to a halt. One must surely hope that there won't be too many road blocks resulting in a repeat of IMF 06, where instead of generating more visitors, retail hotspots such a Suntec City experienced record low crowds as people avoided going into the city at all. But that, won't be the crux of this rumblings.

It is admirable, maybe even necessary for our economic miracle to continue, that Singapore has chosen to 'take the plungé' in recent years to really liven up the city. From attempts to invigorate the night life through brining in international clubs such as MoS, Crazy Horse (which has since closed down), to the endeavours to attract high-rollers by having not one, but two landmark casinos; to beautify yet further our already beautiful city with a modern landscaped parks right in the middle of the city centre, to have a postcard recognisable skyline with the Esplanade, and the Singapore Flyer, and not forgetting to enhance sports and leisure in dramatically renovating the Kallang waterfront; to say that change is in the air would be an understatement. And now, F1. In the space of less than 5 years, this supposedly çonservative state, has sought to emulate and combine the jewels of London (think London Eye & MoS), Paris (think Crazy Horse), Sydney (think Royal Opera House), Las Vegas (you are already thinking it), New York (think Central Park), Monte Carlo (think F1); all into this small island. Copycat or not, one cannot help but marvel at the boldness of this masterplan unfolding. My youth and love for excitement and risk-taking tells me I love all of this. And yet, I will not discuss the possible economic repercussions of such a masterplan, as that would take an entire thesis by itself. (For the record though, I do believe this is the way to go as far as making Singapore a fun place to be is concerned. )

The point in this post, though, is right at the beginning of it.

Notice I said London, Sydney, Las Vegas, etc.etc, and not UK, Australia, US or France. 'Financial hub of Asia', 'Metropolis of Asia', 'Garden City', etc.etc., how used we have become to such descriptions of Singapore, given by none less than various ministers over the years since independance. But it has struck me hard, that Singapore is NOT a city, it is a country. Small yes, with maybe no land for countrysides and farms yes, with maybe a strong reliance on international trade and tourism yes... But for all that we are, we are not, and should not, and can not, see ourselves as a London, or New York or Paris! For, for every London, there is maybe a Bath, a Cornwall, for every New York City, an Ithaca County, for every Paris, a Bordeaux; but for every Singapore, there is still only, another same Singapore. And I don't know why, and can't fanthom why anyone who loves Singapore, actually actually wants it to be a London or New York City.

I hope the masterplan for Singapore is not as single-tracked as it seems. I hope that for every Singapore City Centre development given attention, thought, hardwork, ingenuity and bold change, equal attention is given to the Bedoks, the Jurongs, the Toa Payohs, the Ang Mo Kios. (where incidentally, the majority of the population does reside in, and not the city) .We are such a unique country, a country the size of a city! And I feel we can aspire to develop our country, with individually distinct and characteristic local areas, within this small space of a city. Sure, efforts have been made by HDB, to redevelop and regenerate the older estates such as Toa Payoh, but what I am really thinking about, is to go beyond that. Bring that same amount of boldness in transforming the city, to the heartlands. Things such as our coffeeshops underneath our flats is something special and unique, and we can choose to focus new plans on how to best create good social spaces in our countrysides (yes! OUR country sides, Jurong, Pasir Ris, Woodlands, are at the side of the country!) as well to complement plans for the city.

My dream is that in 10 years time, packaged tours to Singapre will include Tampines Town in its itinerary. Because that's what we are.

Just to let you know how I am doing. ..

2007-05-05T01:11:00.000+01:00

It is not everyday that there are vacation journals and mesmerising sceneries to share.

It is not everyday that there are thought-provoking philosophical discourses to give.

It is not everyday that the heart is moved to write little poems.

And that is why, once in a while, a post like this appears. With no other purpose, but to let you know how I have been doing.

In a month's time, I will be packing my bags, emptying this tiny room of mine, and returning to Singapore, after close to 5 months away from home. I will miss this tiny room, and more than anywhere else in the world has ever been, it has been 'my' space. In here, I have absolute freedom. To different people, freedom may mean different things, and at different stages of our lives, it may differ greatly still. There will be a time where freedom means being able to watch a movie or going to a party with friends after school without having to inform parents, or being able to drive around yourself in your car, or having a holiday with no exams or work to be worried over. But to me, freedom, is simply, the choice of being alone, and undisturbed.

A few days ago, I put on my MSN nick 'everyday is a holiday'. Indeed, this past year thus far, everyday has been a holiday to me, albeit a very different kind of holiday at each time. In Cardiff, it really is a 'retreat', where I can sit back and think and contemplate about issues that seem so important to the rest of the world, but which I cannot put a single face to, where I can evade from all the thoughts and problems of personal human relationships. Vacations like North America are 'éxplorations', where the heart is thrilled by the different sights and the mind takes in the vastness and diversity of this world. And finally, to go home to Singapore, after an extended period away, brings the subtle expectations of experiencing the 'familiar' once again. I call it the 'homecoming'. Obviously, each of these holidays have their own unique problems, during 'retreats', I worry about not worrying enough about home, during éxplorations, I worry about getting lost, and during homecomings, I worry about all the delicate relationships I must balance through. But these problems are reduced to a minimum when there is always something to look forward to in a few days, or in a month or two.

For my final month as a fresher, I have one more coursework (project) due on the 11th of May. This is a presentation for a group work we have done, a neighbourhood masterplan for a site in Newport, Wales. Our concept strategy is 'a hospital within a park and leisure wonderland', where the chirping of the birds, the blooming of the flowers and the laughing of the children will provide the best surroundings for recovery and rest. About a week later on the 21st, I have an economics examination, and another two weeks after that on the 1st of June, an examination in the key ideas of social science. The masterplan actually worries me more than the examinations, and it is also a greater challenge. During this time, I also need to finalize my accomodation for next academic year, which has been delayed for quite a while but seems almost certain to be settled next week. You will know why I took so long when you see my apartment next year, it is quite brilliant. And finally, from the 1st to 3rd of June, Hiu Yeung who is studying in John Hopkins will be visiting from the US. He will be the fifth and final person to visit me in Cardiff this year, after Qihui (Cambridge), Yun Ching (Warwick), Ping Khuan(Carleton), Jieming (Singapore). Closer to the date, I will plan something interesting for us to do.

And at 1125hrs on 3rd June, I will depart Cardiff Central Station on rail to London Paddington, from which I will take the tube to London Heathrow for my 1805hrs flight to Frankfurt onboard Lufthansa. Thereafter, I will take the connecting flight to Singapore and on 4th June 2007, at 1550hrs, I should touch down in Changi Int'l Airport. And that rounds up my little update.

Oh yes, Happy Birthday Papa on the 6th!

Chicago/Philadelphia!

2007-04-24T03:36:00.000+01:00

Newcastle!

2007-04-24T03:29:00.000+01:00

Ithaca!

2007-04-24T03:20:00.000+01:00

Calgary Rockies!

2007-04-24T03:07:00.001+01:00

Niagara Falls!

2007-04-24T02:57:00.000+01:00

Easter Retreat - Toronto

2007-04-20T10:08:00.000+01:00

The visit to Downtown Toronto was not planned, and really the result of unique circumstances. I was supposed to take the 1125am flight from Newark to Toronto, and then the 6pm flight from Toronto to London. That would have meant that I would have had to stay in the Toronto airport during the transit as there would be too little time in between to do anything else. Secondly, even if I had reached Toronto early, it is quite unthinkable that I would have ventured out of the airport alone.

Serendipity had it that in my desperate attempts to get rid of my luggage, I went to the check-in counter to deposit my luggage at 530am even though my flight was at 1125am. There was no staff manning the Air Canada check-in. But there was a gentleman sitting in front of the counter. He approached me and asked me what time the staff would arrive. The conversation continued in all dimensions. He was a Frenchman, and had just spent 4 months in Mexico with his Mexican girlfriend. He intends to migrate there or to San Diego eventually to work. Previouly in France, he actually imported bubble tea from Taiwan after reading a "Food Journal on International Cuisine" and tried to sell it in France, albeit to little success. He concluded that French have very specialized taste, and are not very adventurous. His best friend plays in the First XI for Auxerre in the French Ligue and apparently, has been bought by Middlesborough for next season.

What then conspired was that the staff transferred me to the earlier 630am flight to Toronto, which was the same as the Frenchman. His connecting flight was 12 hours later to Paris, while mine was 10 hours. I suggested that with the luxury of time, we should go out of the airport. Toronto has a very simple and user-friendly transportation system, with a subway line going North-South and East-West, as well as buses serving the airport connecting to the subway. We first visited the CN Tower and Sky Dome, but due to the ridiculous high cost of going up the Tower, decided against it. I also prefer the Calgary skyline to Toronto's.

Thereafter, we had breakfast at a small cafe, from which the friendly Korean storeowner gave us directions to Chinatown and Kensington Market. And so, we started walking down the streets, indulging in my favourite pastime of pointing out pretty girls to each other.Toronto's Chinatown is the most impressive I have seen, it is not just a commercial one street Chinatown, but rather, a whole network of streets showcasing not only Chinese food, but also its culture. Essentially, it is a self-sustainable community with barbers, provision stores, drama clubs and more. The architecture of the entire district looks exactly like London.

Upon return to the airport, the Chinaman and Frenchman exchanged contacts. Quite remarkable, aint it?

Easter Retreat - Calgary, Alberta (4)

2007-04-19T16:31:00.000+01:00

My final full day in Calgary was spent walking around Chinatown and downtown. Unlike Chicago, where Chinatown is located in the less prosperous and glamorous South of the city, the Chinatown of Calgary actually fronts the entire Downtown area. In fact, the archway bridge into downtown is guarded by four white stone Chinese lions. Having a population of 100,000 Chinese, it is no surprise that the Chinese have a huge impact and influence in Calgary. There are even more Chinese in Toronto and Vancouver, which has produced many Miss Hong Kong’s and TVB stars. I think that is why I have always had a very good impression of Canada. If only it weren’t so far away from Singapore, or even Cardiff. Granduncle parked his car at various hills around and overlooking downtown, and again, I felt that the people living in these areas had such a perfect view every morning of the tall skyscrapers right before them, and the Rockies in the background. Granduncle said that most properties cost around 150,000 USD when he first arrived in Calgary, and were now all worth millions. Canada is such a livable city, even their newspaper the Calgary Herald has an entire section dedicated to City Planning issues such as urban design, transportation etc. It gave me the impression that Calgarians were very well educated on their City and its changes.

But the highlight of this day, was a visit to B.J’s Gym. As some may not know, my only-ever idol in wrestling is Bret Hart who originates from Calgary. He is part of the Hart family, which includes Owen Hart (his brother) and the British Bulldog (brother-in-law). His father, Stu Hart is the legendary patriarchy of the family and was a wrestling tour operator in the 70s. The Harts had a wrestling ring in their basement where many top wrestlers first trained, and got into the business. The Hart house was sold recently but a son-in-law of Stu Hart opened a wrestling gym in downtown, and this is B.J’s Gym. Knowing that I was a fan of Bret Hart, granduncle went into the gym with me. A very friendly young guy came to us at the door and granduncle told him of my interest. He invited us in quite readily but seemed a little blur at first, so much so that I suspected if the gym had anything to do with the Harts at all. Upon entry, all my doubts were erased immediately. All over the gym, were signed photographs, cards from Bret, and his brothers to B.J, as well as Stu Hart. These were obviously transported over from the old wrestling basement. And to my amazement, the guy bringing us around was a grandson of Stu Hart, i.e. Bret’s nephew! I was really quite uncomfortable at first when he called names like Bret, Stu, Davey-Boy off his tongue as if he knew them well. But he more than knew them well, they were his relatives! The biggest coincidence was that granduncle’s friend, was actually the family doctor and close family friend of the Harts! B.J’s son (Matt Amis) brought us around the gym, including a view of the wrestling ring, (a wrestling class was on and they were warming-up). It was literally a tour of possibly wrestling’s greatest family, with many childhood photographs. I had to constantly remind myself that this wasn’t some museum tour with the curator showing us around, but rather, a young man showing me his family.

Just as we were about the leave, we were introduced to another of Stu’s grandchildren – the son of the British Bulldog and Diana Hart, Harry Smith. He is already a WWE wrestler and I was quite taken aback when the guy brining us around introduced us to him. My first thoughts were however what to say as I knew his dad had passed away a few years back due to overdose of steroids. I acted matter-of-fact, ‘Oh, I thought you have signed on with the WWE?” He was more than friendly, and started explaining how he had done a few non-televised shows for them, but since then they had no immediate plans for him on the televised roster and had told him to go home, while still paying him. Both granduncle and I wished him all the best. I am quite sure he will go on to be WWE champion one day and wrestle in front of tens of thousands of people, and I will remember this day, when we spoke so casually on a Tuesday afternoon as almost friends. He is about my age anyways, and seemed like just any kid I have met in the US or UK.

Easter Retreat - Calgary, Alberta (3)

2007-04-19T16:29:00.002+01:00

When it’s spring time in the Rockies,
I am coming back to you.
Little sweetheart of the mountain,
With your bonnie eyes so blue.
Once again I say I love you,
Little birds sing all the day.
When it’s spring time in the Rockies
In the Rockies far away.

From the top of Mount Norquay (one of the Rocky Mountain peaks), Granduncle and I sang this song together. When granduncle first migrated to Canada, he brought along his young family, with his son barely five. As a young family, they visited the Rockies quite a few times, and every time they went, he would sing this song with his son. Tears welled up in his eyes as granduncle sang the song; I knew he missed not only the good old days, but also his wife and son who were no longer by his side.

As we sang this song, in front of us was the grandeur of the Rockies, with Mt Cascade directly facing us. The snow-tipped grayish Rockies, seemed to merge with the light blue sky and white clouds, the mountain-town of Banff right at the foot of the mountain seemed straight out of a postcard, emerging the dark green of the fir woods, and next to it was the beautiful Bow River (flowing all the way from Calgary), reflecting its turquoise beauty. The most beautiful sight on earth, possibly. And next to us, barely a few metres away, was a herd of fourteen White Mountain goats. Such exuberance, such excitement, such exhilaration, such poignancy, such loneliness. Granduncle sang a track from “Sound of the Wind” and a line resonated in my mind, “I come to the hills when I am lonely”. I sang as loud as I could, hoping my presence next to him, could take away the momentary feeling of solitude he felt.

But deep within me, there was quite a whirlpool of emotions as well. I felt sad that I would never be able to share such a moment with my mother and possibly a few other loved ones, and I missed all their presence, but at the same time, there was quite a burning resolve within me that the next time granduncle and I came to this very spot, our family would be as large as the herd of mountain goats. And we would set up picnic mats and mahjong tables, the children would run around being chased by the mountain goats, my siblings and our spouses would prepare the food, and the older generation would sit back, and simply talk about the good old days. There would be not one less. And while the picture would never be complete without mamee, I have not and will never give up drawing the picture still.

Possibly the next strongest emotions I felt during the visit to Banff was the visit to the Banff Springs Hotel, which sits like a Disneyland castle amongst the Rockies. Built in the early 1900s, it started off as a dream holiday for the rich and wealthy from Europe. As granduncle and I walked around the hotel, he remarked he was glad that he had the opportunity to walk around what used to be reserved for the richest only. Deep in me, I felt even more than that. As we stood on the deck of the mountain, and gazed into the horizon, and the swimming pool beneath us, I felt very lucky again. I am not rich, but from what I had, I had carved out memory after memory, moment after moment, that only the wealthiest could claim. And yet, I did not crave it at all. I could afford to stay at Banff Springs Hotel for a night or two, but I did not want to stay for any longer. I could walk into a casino in Niagara Falls and walk out five hundred USD richer much to the amazement of Yizhuan, but I did not crave more and more money. All I ever dreamt for, was moments and memories, and I know, I am so lucky that I have experienced so many of these dreams. Maybe that is why I never envied the rich, because the iron they had, I had too, in gold. If only, such moments I could share with so many of you.

Easter Retreat - Calgary, Alberta (2)

2007-04-19T16:29:00.001+01:00

The highlight of Day Two was a 3 hr hike from granduncle’s home to the woods on a hill and back. Let me try to explain the terrain in words. The north of Calgary is basically divided into two by the Bow River running through it. This is quite similar to the city of Ithaca which has Lake Cayuga running through it. The difference between the two being that while Ithaca is pretty much built of sloppy terrain, Calgary sits on a ridge (flat land). Granduncle hikes for at least 2 hours everyday, and mind you, it is no easy hike. I may not have physically tested myself ever since NS (maybe since BMT), but the hike involved some slippery slopes, rocky cliffs, and concluded with a rather sharp 400m ascent to the top of the ridge. Starting on one side of the river, we hiked down the hill, crossed the river and hiked up the opposite ridge. I am finding it very difficult to actually describe the hike, but what stood out were the unbelievable surroundings I was in. In ten minutes, I am at the bottom of the ridge, with hills full of berries surrounding me, twenty minutes later, I am at the top of the ridge seeing the skyline of Calgary and the Rocky Mts in the distance, ten minutes later we are crossing the river with baby blue water, another ten minutes we are crossing into the park with the Elbow River (a smaller river) running through, another fifteen minutes and we are in the woods, with many fir trees all around us. Fir trees are beautiful, hiking among fir trees with temperatures of 12 degrees is a luxury which MacRitchie does not really compare to. But what I am really trying to write from the moving picture in my memory is the many refreshing sights a single hike could bring. I think the reason why MacRitchie is nowhere as attractive to hike in is because after 3 hours, all you see is still the same old trees! (Maybe I am not observant, but I doubt most are anyway.)

Easter Retreat - Calgary Alberta (1)

2007-04-19T16:28:00.001+01:00

Many wonderful things happened in Calgary, Canada. As I sit here in Newark Intl Airport waiting 9 hours for my connecting flight to Toronto en route to London, I will try to reminiscence the past 5 days, and relive the beautiful as well as poignant memories I had. This is going to be a long entry, but well worth the read. My host in Calgary was my granduncle (my father’s father cousin) who had migrated to Calgary from Singapore in 1978. A most energetic and sprightly young man at the age of 69, he welcomed me with the usual bear hug I have come to be familiar with whenever he visits Singapore most winters. I arrived at 12 midnight on Friday, (almost missing the plane which remarkably was the only one that wasn’t delayed and the only one I was late for), and a nice big room welcomed me. (Though he didn’t mention it, I do believe he let me sleep in his room, as he was sleeping in a much smaller room.) He stays alone as both his wife and son live in Los Angeles, where his son is working as a psychiatrist. My trip to Calgary was a dream come true in so many ways and really, if not for him, it simply would not have happened.

Granduncle Hong Chiang (H.C here forth) is a staunch Seventh Day Adventist (SDA) and the better part of Saturday morning was spent in Church. It was International Day and members of the church of different origins from Africa, Asia, and Europe etc. went on stage and performed songs of praise in their respective languages. I thought it was quite a nice environment, not as dramatic as some of the charismatic church sessions I have attended in Singapore, but very family-like nonetheless. In the evening, we returned to the church for a concert by a visiting school band, which played both spiritual and secular tunes. Saturday is seen as the Holy Sabbath, as written under the Fourth Commandment by SDAs, and the day is meant to be kept for rest, which means no work, and as much time as possible spent for worship and getting close to God. A vegetarian diet is observed every Sabbath as well.

The good thing about having a local guide is that granduncle really knew what was special and unique in Calgary, and not just the usual scenic touristy sights that can be Google-ed or even Lonely Planet-ed. Lake Bonavista is a residential area, built around a man-made lake. More than 50 detached houses are built around the huge lake, with private wooden jetties facing onto the lake. The first thought that struck me was that this must be a wonderful place to live in. During summer, the residents can float around the lakes in their large floats or mini-boats, in winter; the lake becomes a big ice-skating ring, coupled with the ducks and geese. The soil dug out from the lake was accumulated into a hill next to the lake, and water is pumped from the lake up the hill into a man-made waterfall that streams down a creek. I saw families sitting on the hill, enjoying the lake and their homes, children playing with the half melted ice, dogs rolling on the hill. It is possibly the most scenic residential area I have ever seen. Residents are really connected by the lake. I must try to recreate this somewhere, sometime.

The other attractions granduncle H.C brought me to on Saturday afternoon were Glenmore Reservoir and the Olympic Park. Olympic Park is consists of a ski-jump, an iced luge track, and a ski hill. It was the venue for these sports during the 1988 Winter Olympics. Unfortunately, ski-ing season was over when I went so the place was basically empty. Nevertheless, it was my first visit to an actual competitive ground for a winter Olympics. I had previously been to the Seoul Olympic Stadium that hosted a Summer Olympics. The highlight of this day was still however, the Lake Bonavista.

Easter Retreat - Chicago

2007-04-17T19:05:00.000+01:00

The visit to Chicago started disastrously. Most of you will be familiar with the “luggage fiasco” by now from earlier posts and comments I have made. I finally received my luggage at Chin Siong’s doorstep 3 days after I arrived in Chicago. Besides this however, the visit didn’t start off too well as I arrived in the midst of a very busy week for Mr Goh, who is preparing for his final thesis. In typical dramatic fashion, the first memorable event that happened when we met was me spilling his iced milk tea all over the seat of his newly bought Mitsubishi Sports Car (yes, Mr Goh drives a hip white sports car which has automatic seatbelts once you sit within. However, he has to manually open both car doors since the remote controls are not working.)

Perhaps the visit to Chicago can be categorized into 3 sections, the first being I going for lessons in the University with Chin Siong, the second being the lunch and dinners I had with a couple of friends, and thirdly, my viewing of the Singapore Students Association’s elections in the University. In sharp contrast to many friends of mine who go around crashing university classes in Singapore, UK, US etc, I myself have never experienced a lecture outside of Cardiff. It was quite an experience to sit inside a public policy lecture and economics lecture in the U of C. What stood out for the former was the huge amount of student participation in the lecture. Apparently, students are graded somewhat according to their participation. I think this produces the occasional smart and useful comment. Nothing stood out from the economics lecture which was on futures and bonds, because I did not understand a thing what was going on. Overall though, it is quite similar to what I experience in Cardiff.

Shawn Loh, my LPTE junior is in U of C reading economics too, and so is Hsin Yao, my Police OCT squad mate. Also in the university reading chemistry is Ghee Chuan, my RI Sec 1 and 2 classmate, and Fabian, my fellow Firefly Scholar. There are a few couple of people I met, ex-RI or HCJC students, during the elections for their students association. In all, there are about 60 Singaporeans in Chicago. While there are more Singaporeans in Cornell, I never met them all at a single event, even Hwa Chong Night in London saw students from all over the UK, not from a single school. Seeing so many people from Singapore, from all periods of my life, in Chicago really makes me realize how many Singaporeans each year go overseas to study. The elections for the office of President saw quite a heated debate on what should the purpose of a Singapore Association be, to serve and benefit the Singaporeans, or to introduce the country and its culture to students of other nationalities in the University. For a small group of 60, I didn’t really like the bureaucracy of it all. I think for small groups, I do not see the need for official posts; it really should just be Singaporeans coming together as friends doing the things they like and keeping each other company. Coming from a university where there are no Singaporeans, I think I really feel that. I do not really see the point of overseas Singapore Student Associations being run like some form of Government or hierarchy; maybe it provides good exposure for working life, or maybe it makes CVs look good, but it definitely fails the test of efficiency, and solidarity if people feel forced into something they wouldn’t otherwise do if not for the mere fact that they were Singaporeans. But it does not really bother me; I like good old Cardiff where Singapore is Foo!

While I mentioned earlier that Chin Siong was busy, it was quite obvious to me that he literally struggled within himself to allocate time for me, to drive me around for meals and etc, and for that, I thank him much! In the past, I would have been quite disappointed when I perceived what to be an unequal balance in friendships or relationships, but maybe the past year or so has taught me that people are different, and instead of imposing your standards on others, why not appreciate what they have already done for you! It was great meeting Shawn who I’ve known since he was 10, he’s really grown up and has his ideas and principles, but I’m glad he hasn’t lost the boy in him. That’s priceless! Hsin Yao and his girlfriend Jingli also brought me out for lunch at McCormick seafood restaurant, it was fun discussing our Barrack days, and having a good laugh about good ol’Dominic and our gruesome kayaking experience in OBS.

Finally, the city of Chicago. Due to time constraints, I could only make a real rushed tour of the Downtown, going down the Magnificent Mile, the Chicago River, and the Millennium Park, briefly popping into the Art Institute of New York. Basically, this was really to see the different architectures of Chicago, which houses many landmark architectural works, including the Sears Tower, John Hancock Building, and a whole range of Modern, Postmodern skyscrapers. The Mile is considered one of the world’s best boulevards and I went on it for a feel of what it was like, even though I had no time to venture into the countless buildings. Besides the architecture, what was quite interesting was the railway line running through downtown, admist the tall buildings. Millennium Park is unique because of its focus of Art over Nature. Subsequent photographs will showcase what I saw.

This was written in Minneapolis- St Paul Intl Airport where I am on transit to my flight to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. It is a wonderful airport, with possibly the best array of retail and food outlets within the check-in/ transit area. And there are stores showcasing the wolves, grizzly bears and moose of Minnesota, which makes me really feel like visiting Minnesota! Perhaps, I will get to see these in Calgary though!

Till Calgary,
Cexiang
13 April 2007

Memories of Flight

2007-04-10T07:28:00.000+01:00

Five years old.
Couldn’t sit still between Papa and Mummy.
Couldn’t stop talking.
When are we going to fly?
We are moving!
The plane started taking off.
I looked out.
I clutched my seat handles.
Trying not to look scared in front of others..
We are in the air!
Halfway, the pilot announced there would be turbulence.
What is turbulence?
Mummy started vomiting due to the turbulence.
I felt quite proud I could defeat the turbulence!
Nothing to be afraid of with Mummy and Papa next to me!

Twenty-two years old.
No one next to me.
No more talking.
No more anticipation on when I start flying,
Thoughts only on how long the delay will be.
The plane starts taking off.
I look out.
I clutch the seat handles.
Trying to convince myself I am not scared.
Finally, we are in the air.
Halfway, the pilot announces there is going to be turbulence.
No more questions, it must be the umpteenth time.
I thought I would be proud to fly alone.
I thought there would be
Nothing to be afraid without Mummy and Papa next to me.

But I look out of the window,
Into the darkness of the night.
And I wish they were.

Easter Retreat - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2007-04-10T07:26:00.000+01:00

Due to closure, our original plan of going on the Maid of The Mist Niagara Falls Boat Ride on Saturday was thwarted. The plan to wake up at 630 am to watch the sunrise at the Falls also did not materialize as both Yizhuan and I could not wake up in time. I made a last minute proposal to go down to Pennsylvania, since I had told Gaurav and Junhao that I would try to visit them there if possible. We called Gaurav to get directions. It would take a mad 7 hrs to drive down. Knowing my wish, Yizhuan agreed without hesitation to the really daunting task. And so, at 930 am, we started on our marathon car ride. I have always liked long distance car travels. I am not sure if Yizhuan does so too. Nevertheless, I couldn’t thank him more for going the distance with me. Indeed, this has been much the story of my entire visit to Cornell. I think both of us would agree though, that the journey to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania was more than worth it.

Gaurav and Junhao appeared almost immediately upon our arrival. Yizhuan and I had dinner with Gaurav, who has definitely matured a lot since RI, but somehow, upon seeing both of us, glimpses of the same old Gaurav shone through, and his usual snide remarks at me, and the jokes about the teachers. We all felt 15 all over again.

Supper was perhaps the highlight of the visit to Philly. Yinwei, who I have not met ever since Secondary 4, traveled back from Washington to meet us upon hearing we were in town. Yizhuan, Junhao, Yinwei, myself, and 2 of Yizhuan’s VJ Council-mates Stephanie and Weihan , met in Philly Diner. I think it was the most enjoyable group gatherings I have had since going overseas, or even in the past few years. Not everyone knew everyone else, those who did had hardly seen each others for years, yet endless laughter filled the night. There was I, aiming jokes relentlessly at the expense of Junhao and Yizhuan, with both trying their best to retaliate. Yinwei was laughing his head off, and so were Stephanie and Weihan, all providing the classic one-liners. While the conversations will be censored on this blog, what I will write down for posterity will be that it’s really been a while that I have been so happy among a group. People who want to be happy, who are happy, and who want all around them to be happy, will be the happiest people themselves. Junhao, Yinwei, Yizhuan and I played mahjong overnight at Yinwei’s place till 5 am.

We then awoke at 9am to go on a tour of the Independence Sites in Philadelphia, which is the birthplace of American independence. Both Junhao and Yinwei had incredibly slept less than 6 hrs in the last 36 hours. We were given a very concise but informative talk on America’s independence, from colonization under the British, to the Declaration of Independence, to the Constitution. A group of students from California were in the same group as us. They were taking photographs, and actively participating in the question and answer sessions, showing good knowledge and interest of their countries Independence history. Singapore’s journey to Independence from colonization doesn’t seem any less exciting than America’s (perhaps we had no War of Independence, but we did have WW2), but somehow, my impression is that students in Singapore are hardly enthusiastic about our road to nationhood. I definitely felt proud of our independence as I saw America’s. While the US is huge, and we are a dot, I think it was a similar spirit, ambition and drive that drove us to make our independence a reality and a success.

After lunch at a Malaysian restaurant, where I had the closest semblance to Singapore food overseas (the ones in UK are mainly Hong Kong, with lots of oil), Yizhuan and I headed back to Cornell. It would be another 4 hours before we reached Cornell. And I want to end of this post by saying that, though I myself barely slept when Ping Khuan visited me in Cardiff, and I do subconsciously expect from my close friends what I would give myself, there was never a moment throughout the weekend from Niagara to Philly that I did not feel amazed and touched by the sacrifices that Yizhuan, Junhao and Yinwei made to make my one day trip truly so very memorable. I hope somehow, I brought some joy to all of you through my visit, and made up for all the time you lost. Thank you.

Onboard American Airline from New York to Chicago

Note: For the second time in a week, I have had a delayed flight and missed my connecting flight. Worse still, I have had to go to a different airport form earlier planned. I really doubt I can collect my luggage successfully after touch down. It has been a mad air travel experience. My flight from Syracuse to New York departed an hour late. I missed my original flight from NY to Midway. I was referred to another airline in another terminal which I had to run to, only to be told that plane had left too. Upon transfer to yet another flight, not to Midway but to Ohare (also Chicago). I asked what would happen to my luggage and the reply I received was, “You worry about that when you touch down!” I was then selected for special screening, and had a full body check. If not for my prior experience in Ops Dept SPF dealing with security plans, I definitely would not have been as accommodating and understanding and patient as I was. To top it all, after getting on the plane, we were stuck on the runway for a full hour, waiting in line as other planes took off. To think I thought all airports are like Changi. Now I know. I will cross my fingers that I meet Chin Siong without hassle, and my luggage arrives on time. We shall see.
Afternote: I reached Chin Siong’s place safely at 12mn. But as I expected, my luggage is missing. Nothing valuable within except clothes. Hopefully they return it tomorrow

Easter Retreat - Niagara Falls

2007-04-08T23:02:00.000+01:00

We left Ithaca at 2pm in the afternoon, and after a 4 hr drive, stopping only for twenty minutes halfway for a bite at mcdonalds, we arrived at the famed Number 1 Wonder of the World - The Niagara Falls. The Falls actually consist of 2 seperate falls, the USA Falls, which is horizontal, with many rocks at the bottom, and seagulls flying near the rocks and the falls; and the Horseshoe Falls, which is located on Canadian land. The Horseshoe Falls is majestic and in the shape of a horseshoe, with the water vapour rising from the impact of the falls crashing onto the lake covering almost half of the fall itself. I had little prior impression of the Falls before this visit, vaguely remembering them from some photographs my mum took when she visited the area more than 20 years ago. She said it was breathtaking, and it is.

Although it is now Spring, we arrived during a "cold" period and the temperatures were sub-zero, with rather strong winds making it chillier. The beauty of which is that the rocks near the falls are all frozen. Quite distinct from the usual green or autumn red colours that visitors in the warmer seasons will see, the Niagara I saw was white, and pale blue. Somehow, it resonated with images I had seen from documentaries in Antartica or Alaska. But the sacrifice I had to make for this unique view was that the boat ride into the falls was closed, meaning I did not get the opportunity to literally stand within the falls and feel it's strength, power and the adrenalin rush that comes along with it. Nor could I capture close-ups of the Falls, or the seagulls and rocks.It is a pity, but it gives a good reason to come back in the future!

We had dinner at the Rainforst Cafe, located at the Canadian side of the Falls. The Canadian side is very commercialized, with at least 3 large casinos, a whole array of themed-restaurants and waterparks, as well as other retail glamour stores. The US side on the other hand is far more natural, with only a single Casino, and numerous small motels. Perhaps the main beneficiaries of this are the tourists, who get to enjoy a natural view from one angle in the day, as well as experience a wonderful shopping and feasting experience at night.

As I and Yizhuan had dinner, I told him how I couldnt stop feeling how lucky we were. Having the opportunity to meet up with such a wonderful friend in another part of the world. It was only 9 years ago when we were wearing short white pants wandering blurly into Raffles Institution. And now, here I am flying across the Atlantic from the UK to the US, and then driving across the State of New York to the Canadian border, and seeing the Niagara Falls. I think I am a lucky boy.

Easter Retreat : Ithaca, New York

2007-04-06T02:29:00.000+01:00

Cornell University is in the City of Ithaca, which is part of the state of New York. By car, it is 5 hours from New York City, and 3 hours from the state of Pennsylvania. The past 2 days have been spent largely in the comfort of Yizhuan's car, with him and Joshua (my primary school classmate) driving me around. I have never been in the United States before, and my first impression is the massive land size. Houses are huge, land plots are huge, shopping malls are huge, all these despite Ithaca being a relatively small town of about 30,000 residents. The city actually develops around the tip of Cayuga Lake, which is one of the Finger Lakes. The terrain is largely hilly, and Cornell University, as well as much of the residential detached houses are on hills, which look down upon the lake. The lake is a nice shade of baby blue. The area is blessed with lots of waterfalls. of which I visited Taughannock Falls with Joshua, and Ithaca Falls with Yizhuan. Both were unplanned, but we just came across them as we were sight-seeing. (Photos will be updated upon my return to Cardiff). I was also exposed to the cows in Cornell University, as I and Joshua stood in front of the barn for close to 20 minutes, moo-ing at the cows! These vrey cows produce the milk and ice-cream in Cornell, not bad for a university to be self-sustaining. (The university orchard produces apples too!) However, to my disappointment, I have not seen live deer, even though on the way to Ithaca from Newark, I did spot a few dead ones on the roads. Again, road accidents involving deer is a completely foreign concept to me. I was constantly shouting to Yz to slow down in case a deer jumped out.

I met my JC classmates Jaclyn and Christina for dinner on the first night, together with Jos and YZ, as well as an RI schoolmate Ernest. This was the fiirst time I was meeting them in 3-4 years, and even when we were in HC, or RI, we seeldom interacted. Nevertheless, it was nice, I am really not used to familiarity outside Singapore. We had dinner in the residence catering of Cornell, which actually is pretty much like Marche, buffett style with a wide array of good food choices! It definitely is a first among university catering, if Cardiff had such, I believe I would be very fat now. Perhaps, its a blessing in disguise! Dinner for the second night was at Wings at Ithaca, which serves a variety of wings dipped in different sauces. The portions are famously huge, and it was a heartening meal with Yizhuan and his housemates Sam, and Yan Kai. By the way, I weighed myself in Yizhuan's flat. I am now back to my target of 50kg!

The next few days will be spent at the Niagara Falls! Anticipate!

Easter Retreat Day 1

2007-04-05T02:44:00.000+01:00

20 hours ago, I wrote my Pre-Departure Sketch. According to the plan, I would be in Cornell by now, after a 4 hr drive from Newark Airport. Yet, as I predicted, things never go to plan. It is from Toronto’s Pearson Airport that I type this post. It has been a day of delay after delay, in fact, nothing but delays. My flight was scheduled for 830am (UK), when I reached the airport at 6am; I realized it had been delayed till 930am. Already, there was an incredibly long queue at the Check-In. However, there was a new techno-machine which allows self check-in. Most people did not use this since I assume the old tried-and –trusted check in at the counter was more reliable. I am not particularly adventurous, but I am very impatient, so I went to use the self check-in machine. Incredibly, I jumped over the entire queue, and within 10 minutes, was seated in the departure hall, my luggage successfully checked-in. It’s quite a convenient tool really, and it safes lots of time and manpower.

At 930am, I proceeded to the gates, having sat within till 1030am, wondering what on earth had happened to the flight, the PA announced that due to a engine fault currently being remedied, the flight would be further delayed by 2-3 hours. It was not until 1pm, that my plane was on the runway, and it took another ridiculous half an hour before we would take-off due to the long queue of planes before us lining-up to take off. It’s a really weird situation. I never experienced that from Changi Airport, or in fact, any other airport I have been in all my life. But I never had a very good impression of Heathrow anyway.

The flight arrived at 345pm (Canadian Time) in Toronto. By this time, I had missed my original transfer flight to Newark New Jersey. We were informed on the plane that replacement flights had been booked for us. How awfully wrong that turned out to be. Upon reaching Toronto, I had to wait 1 hr for my luggage to appear, and then another 1 hr before I was given a new flight slated for 910pm. Yes, I had to wait another 4 hours in Toronto. The transit terminal was an utter mess, no priority for earlier flights, I actually had a flight for 530pm, but had to stay in the queue for close to an hour, thus missing the flight.

Amidst all this nuisance, the day thus far provided 2 positives. The first being the view of Toronto from the sky. As the plane flew over Toronto, I was amazed at the long straight roads that almost divided the city into perfect squares. The uniformity is amazing, but I am not sure whether I was more amazed or actually startled. The second is my flight to Newark. I will be sitting a small plane, called a Jazz, it is not like the normal commercial plane, but somehow like a plane seen in the movie Pearl Harbour, with the propellers at the front.

3 April 05. 630pm, Toronto Pearson Airport.

Afterword: Yizhuan pickd me up at 1130pm, having driven 4 hours from Ithaca. We then drove another 4 hrs back. An incredible diving distance for friendship. At 4 am in the morning, we eventually reached his room.

Pre-Departure Sketch

2007-04-03T00:07:00.000+01:00

In a few hours, I will be boarding the bus from London Islington to London Heathrow, from which I will board the aircraft to New York Newark Airport, transiting via Toronto Pearson. From there, I will meet Yizhuan, who will pick me up in his car, and we will travel down to Cornell, where I will spend the next 6 days in. Within this time, we will drive down to Toronto and visit the Niagara Falls as well. Time permitting, I might make a trip down to Philedelphia to meet Gaurav, and maybe Yexiang and Junhao. I hope to tour New York too. On the 9th of April, I will leave Cornell from Syracuse Airport and fly to Chicago Midway, where Chin Siong will pick me up in his car and head back to the University of Chicago. His room which is situated next to Lake Michigan, will be where I live from the 9th to the 13th. On the 13th, I will depart Chicago and fly to Calgary, Canada, where my granduncle Hong Chiang will pick my up, and spend the next 5 days with me, possibly, making a trip to the Canadian Rockies. On the 19th, I shall take a plane from Calgary back to New York Newark, from which I will take another plane back to London Heathrow, arriving at 0625hrs on the morning of 20th April. Thereafter, I will take the tube down to London Paddington, where I will meet Jieming (my RI Interact Club junior), and we will take the rail up to Newcastle-upon-Tyne, where we will spend the next 3 days in. The highlight of the trip being the Chelsea-Newcastle match at St James Park. On the 22nd, we will take the rail back to Cardiff, thereby culminating my 3 week vacation.

That is the outline of my plans, and as I go along, the details of each stop, each meeting, each delight, each disappointment, I hope to describe and share in this blog. While discovering North America with close friends I have not met in a year is a big reason for this trip, I also hope to have nice conditions in which I can revise for my exams in May, as well, as research for the Neighbourood Masterplan we have in Newport.

The last 3 days were very idyllic. Starting on Friday, where I went down to Queen Street, Cardiff, walked into the WHSmith Bookstore, picked a book, and went to the 2nd storey Coffeeshop to read the book. "Interpretation of Murder" is a crime thriller incorporating Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, with their key ideas discussed therein. This must be the first fiction book I have read since my literature text in Junior College. I remember when I was much younger in Primary School, I loved reading, and my mum and aunt would buy book after book. I normally fiished a book in a day, and would not sleep till I finished. But ever since Secondary School, I lost the patience to read even a single book. That is why I was so happy with myself on Friday, when I actually sat at that coffeeshop for 3 hours, sipping my cappuchino, looking out to the people walking down Queen Street occasionally, but thoroughly engrossed in the book. Somehow, its such a peacful and graceful way to spend my afternoon, and let time past without me knowing. Perhaps, this will be the start of the second reading wave in my life!

Saturday will today was spent in London. I met my HC Arts Junior in London for lunch and dinner on Saturday. We ate at a pub in London Covent Garden, and watched the Arsenal-Liverpool, and Manchester Utd-Blackburn matches. Admist lots of British supporters, the atmosphere was rather good. Thereafter, I brought him to Trafalgar Square and the National Gallery. Somehow, I have developed a real love for museums and galleries. Pictures of our trip and some quotes from me can be found on Ziqian's blog : www.whereischang.photoblog.com

Sunday lunch was spent with Bjorn, Shining & Bryan at a Chinese restaurant where Bjorn has made excellent patronage of, and we shared the blessings with free dessert and a heavily discounted tim sum buffett. The rest of the time I spent sleeping or plaing poker with Andre and his wonderful housemates, who also cooked up 2 really good dinners! I ended up washing the dishes on both nights, as I was the loser at poker. (I would like to believe I subconsciously lost so I would wash the dishes as I felt guilty for not participating in the cooking. =p)

It's time for a short nap now, before I wake up at 330am and make my way to the bus stop.

Till America, ciaoz!

Tintern Abbey, Caerphilly Castle & Ping Khuan

2007-03-21T01:39:00.000Z

It has been the busiest and most tiring week in the UK. I worked as a garderner in Uncle Carl's garden on Saturday, and from trimming leaves ended up uprooting entire trees. I think the last time I physically exerted thus much was in the army. But it was a very good workout. Next, the maps assignment is due on Wednesday, and even though I have had a rough idea on what to do for quite some time already, I only got started typing on Monday. But the highlight of this week, is a visit from Ping Khuan from the US!

He arrived at 920pm on Tuesday night, and left Cardiff at 920pm on Wednesday night. Within this time period of 24 hrs, I finished my report, and we travelled from Cardiff to Chepstow to Caerphilly and back to Cardiff, and visited Tintern Abbey, Caerphilly Castle, Cardiff Bay and the famous Gala Casino Cardiff (made famous by me). I saw Wales at its most beautiful today, even better than the visit to Brecon Beacons made last year.

Tintern Abbey lies along the Wye Valley in Chepstow, and was built in the 12th century (1131) by Cistercian Monks from France. A gothic building set admist greyish mountains and the Wye River, it really gives a sense of peace. Not a holy kind of peace as places of worship might give, it is after all only the ruins of the Abbey; but a kind of quietness within nature. The shade of colours are dull, except for the glorious sky, yet the whole picture exudes a great calmness. The town of Chepstow must be my favourite place in the UK thus far. The town centre is simply a sloped road filled with lightly painted houses (i.e, light pink, white). Beyond, the housing is laregly detached with lots of garden space. Add to that a wonderfully rural racecourse, which is nonetheless huge. (Very different atmosphere from Kranji, which gives a very commercialized "betting" feel.) A small town of 20,000, it perhaps allow peace and activity, nature and civilization, community and individuals to mix effortlessly.

Caerphilly Castle was built by the Norman nobleman Gilbert de Clare and not Edward I(who built most Welsh castles so as to crack down on the Welsh Lords.) Gilbert de Clare instead, built the Castle to resist against the Last Welsh Prince Llewellyn and safeguard his territory of Glarmorgan. It is the largest castle in Wales, and the second largest in the UK. It has double moats, and the extent of the defenses are elaborate. In here, I learnt much about Welsh history from the exhibitions and books. (how power in Wales evolved from the Celtic Chieftains to the Romans, to the Normans, to the various Welsh Princes, and finally to the English Kings). Caerphilly is also a small town located very near to Cardiff. We saw lots of students from the same Secondary School walking down the streets. This gives it a very local feel, which I think actually gives the place a sense of cosiness, and you really do not get a feeling of being lost, even though it is foreign.

The reason why I have gone into some detail into explaining all these is because for once, the pictures I am going to post do not tell a thousand words. Rather, they are pictures I like because the scenery or people within (=P) look very nice. Of course, to end off, this entire visit would have only taken place because Ping Khuan visited. I can never emphasize more how the familiarity of having a close friend visit, and the pride of being a host, actually gives me a huge sense of satisfaction and eagerness to discover the land!

It's now time to sleep. I have slept only 3 hrs in the last 30 hrs. (now you know how come the report could be completed even though Ping Khuan visited) Good night! Have a great day! Hope you like the pictures!

The 100th Post

2007-03-18T02:14:00.000Z

Dear All,

The first article in this blog was posted on April Fools' 2005 when I was serving my National Service in the Police Headquarters. However, after only one post later, I stopped posting anything for close to a year. In March 2006, when I started relief teaching, I started posting again. Exactly a year on since then, this is now my 100th post. Incredibly, the site has seen more than 5,000 views within this one year. When I first started posting, it was more for my own viewing pleasure, and perhaps a circle of very close friends. But now, it is much more than that, a wonderful link between my family and friends and myself, a space for self-expression, and my best companion in times of solitude late at night. Thank you very much for your sustained interest in my life and thoughts, thank you so much for your comments and tags!
Well, I suppose this "ashes of times" hasn't exactly seen the best of times, but it definitely hasnt been short of happy moments as well. And on this centenary, it's my wish that all of us can look ahead with light-hearted spiritedness and joyful laughter!
I wanted to post this video on the blog, but there is a technical probles. Instead, I will post the link, and you can proceed to take a look. It will be my gift to everyone! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSxsGddQeXo&mode=related&search

With Love,
Cexiang!

思送陈兄

2007-03-15T01:28:00.000Z

思君千里忆一别
离人当日何不如
昔时伴随共一挥
只叹今天无力为
望君莫觉情异境
永远祝福青空寄

I wrote this as a gift to Jinghui when he flew back to Australia to continue his studies earlier in February. I was already back in the UK by then. And who would have known, that less than a month later, I feel the same feeling, for a different reason. I wish my grandma well whereever she is now. Meetings not many we had, but love for her as my mum I shared.

On Death

2007-03-15T01:26:00.000Z

I wonder how I first came to understand the concept or idea of death. From what I can faintly recall, it must have been when my aunty was reading Chinese history tales to me when I was very young where we came across the word 'si'. And, I asked her, "What's death?" The answer I got and I believe millions of young children across the world receive, is that death happens when people grow old; they will stop breathing in their sleep, and then no longer walk, talk, and live.

And not long after that, as I grew older, I learnt that my grandfather passed away when he was barely 40, from a heart attack, and slowly, a few distant relatives passed away, some young, some older. But, this concept of dying old in sleep stayed firm in my mind. Dying young, struggling with illness, seemed something distant, foreign, that could only happen to other people.

Then in 2006, my mum left. And hours ago, her mum left. Both had cancer, one before the after. Both left, one after the other. And the image of dying peacefully in sleep when old died in me as well. As I heard the news, I looked at myself, my hands, my body, my feet, and I thought, "I know one day, you will let me down. I just hope that before you do so, you let me know. So I can tell those around me, I am going to let them down."

I always tell everyone, to treasure those around you. And tonight, I would add, most of all, treasure yourself, - for every morning that you wake up, and breathe, smile, talk, walk and run.

One More Breath

2007-03-12T13:43:00.000Z

It's all a blur.
People, shadows. Voices, noise.
Memories lost by the second,
yet time has stood still.
One more breath, and yet one more breath,
it seems like forever.

No more thoughts.
Love, forgiveness. Hatred, grudges.
Emotions forgotten by the second,
yet time has stood still.
One more breath, and yet one more breath,
it seems like forever.

Too used to breathing.
Too used to hoping.
Too used to caring.
Too used to loving.
Too used to you.

There is time no more, nothing's left.
Yet, still, too used to it all.
And again I plead,
One more breath, and yet one more breath.
till forever.

乱涂

2007-03-06T01:10:00.000Z

星期一夜。完成了今天为自己设定的功课目标，突然来了兴致，拿出了旧照片，想画一画。

第一次：人这么美，怎么画得那么丑! 丢！第二次：还是不行！再来！第三次：慢慢来，仔细点，先画轮廓，再添嘴巴，鼻子。哦！似乎有点样了! 到了眼睛，失败！完全捉不住眼神。第四次：不行！不行！不行！第五，第六，第七。。。怎么越画越糟。嗨。我真的用心，真的想画好，但人，终究跟高楼大厦，花草树木不一样。

人。表面是很简单的。脸庞，头发，鼻子，。。。，比起复杂的高楼或多姿的花草，好像应该容易些。但，那眼神，那脸态，却是捉摸不定的。越觉得自己画得滥，却越觉得照片中的人，是多么漂亮。简单，却准确。简单得那么美，准确得不可把脸部画得有一线之差。原来一个人，能多么的完美。曾经觉得她美，原来那么模糊，那么不足够。
纸，丢了好多张。照片却一直在眼前的手里。真的在手里吗？从前的曾经，怎么可能真的在今天的手里呢？

早前时分，突然来了一位十二年没遇见的小学同学，在网上找到了我。她聊阿聊。我似乎还没遇过一个比我更能聊小学回忆的人，但她可以。自己想着自己的过去，似乎还在当中。但别人跟你说过去的你时，突然间，觉得自己真的那么老了！我的从前，就像昨天。但听到别人告诉我这同样的从前，却突然遥不可及，好像是听另一个人的故事。真得很微妙。

原来现实中，我真的老了，超过二十岁了，人生最大的损失也尝到了。但，为什么，我每天起来时，就好像二十年前，十年前，那么对生命没有什么担忧，恐慌？还是相信，有什么困难，还有爸爸妈妈，还有老师，还有朋友，还有自己。即使有一天，你们都不在了，但请知道，我每天醒来时，你们永远依然在我的身边。

画，我是画不了了，但我心里的白纸上，又何曾何时忘了你们的一滴泪，一丝笑？
我想，这就是我一生，的“不老传说”吧。

On Being Tagged

2007-02-28T11:58:00.000Z

Its the final day of February! Let's do something interesting to celebrate the end of the month. Apparently, this is an online tagging game, so read the instructions below to see how it goes. YOUR participation is required in the end.

Instructions:This is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game. Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.
1. I rather get lost and go round in circles than asking people for directions or consult the street directory.
2. I rather speak to a crowd of strangers than one stranger alone.
3. I usually listen to the same song for hours until I get tired of it, only to do the same sometime in the future again.
4. My favourite Jin Yong character used to be Wei Xiao Bao, but I think Yang Guo is cooler now. (Even though by Peter Blau's logic of social exchange, this makes me far more unattractive.=()
5. I cannot remember the last person I was genuinely angry with. But I act angry from time to time so there is some balance in life.
6. I believe that if something good happens in a day, everything else good will follow on the same day; and vice versa if something bad happens.
(7.) This is a bonus point. I felt it had to be added in. I like to impersonate police officers, office colleagues, teachers & professors over the phone to trick my friends, and I like to lie about myself in front of strangers (i.e. telling them I am a Vet). I do not flinch when I lie, in the famous words of Goh Chin Siong, "You are a congenital liar." And, more often than not, I am successful.

That's it then. I hope you learnt something new about me! If you didnt, apparently, you know me rather well already, so good for you. Now here comes the fun part for me! To select six people to do the same thing on their blogs. I guess I am obviously resricted to those who have blogs and those who read my blogs. I really do not know who satisfies these criteria, so my general rule is : If you have tagged my tagboard and have a blog, then you are the chosen one.

When I was younger....

2007-02-26T01:37:00.000Z

This post was inspired by a post "Do you remember?" from Kaori's blog. Previously, I have also received emails titled "If you remember this, you are an 80s child" or "We went to school in the early 90s". While Kaori's was a more personal recollection of her primary school days, the emails contained more generic reflections of school across Singapore at that time. Since I can't seem to fall asleep, I will try to select a few interesting incidents or phenomenoms in my primary school days that might bring a tear or smile to those reading it. =p Maybe after reading these, you can start recollecting your own primary school experiences? I know that for some of you, Primary School life is more than 10 years ago? For others, it might be only last year when you were in Primary School! Tell me more about what you remember as well and maybe there will be similarities!

- when i was in pre-primary(the current equivalent of k2), we used to have afternoon nap time. basically, what happens will be all the students bring their bathroom towels to school and then lay it on the floor. And then, everyone is supposed to go to sleep! I seldom ever fell asleep, always so alert and mischievous in looking around the class and seeing who had fallen asleep and who hadn't. But I loved the rainy days, with the rain pattering down on the metal window frames, the wind blowing into the class.

-in p2, we used coca-cola cans to play football. there was once when the "ball" was kicked into the air. I intelligently attempted to head it into the goal, and was left a gaping wound across my head. I cant remember if I scored.

- in p3, there was a bilingual story telling competition in which I represented my class. I was supposed to tell the story of a pair of spectacles. I cant remember the storyline, but there was a part where I was supposed to take off my spectacles and place them on the floor. (or that was what the teacher told me). On the actual performance, I simply took my glasses off and threw them onto the stage. Immediate audience reaction! Lots of "Wahs! Wows!" Truly, a born performer. And I got first.

- in p4, I was rather saddened that my academic position for the standard had fallen out of the top3 (i.e. no prize!), but apparently, the school decided to establish a new award from that year on( the best in subject award). I remember it was raining when the teacher came to my class to inform that I had won Best in Science for the standard! I ran out of my seat, ran out of the class, and ran back into the class, and thanked her profusely. Now,this is very unlike me. Normally, I was very low profile with my results because I did not want to upset those sitting around me.

- the first and only slap in my life. p5. first day of school. my form teacher Mdm Yap was talking to the class, while I was happily talking to the classmate next to me. before I knew it, I received a tight slap across my face. what a start to the year!

- ACES day aka Childrens'Day aka Great Singapore Workout Day. p6. all students receive Aces Day Caps, and the practice was to go around getting your friends and classmates to sign on the caps. I loved this day. I would purposely walk around school during recess, and all the younger students would come running after me asking me to sign their caps. (Fulfilling my ambition to be a STAR!) But the most important signature was always reserved for the girl I liked. She didn't come up to me to sign her cap, but asked another classmate of ours to pass me her cap. I was extremely happy! But I was too shy to ask her to sign mine. =p

- Prize Giving Day. p6. Everyyear, the night before Prize-Giving, I would not be able to sleep. Too anxious about the moment of glory the next day. p6, was the extreme as it would be my last year and I was receiving no less than 5 prizes. I liked to be seen as very busy when I was in the spotlight. And I was. Running on stage, going back stage, going into the queue to get the next prize.

- what did students at that time play or liked to do? table tennis (I was hopeless), catching (I was not too bad), football (I was okay), Rubber War with country erasers (I was hopeless), Rubber Bands (I never played), read Tintin comics (I never read) , Paper Connect Four (everyone would represent a country, inspired by World Cup 94, I was always Italy and always lost in the semi-finals), Arm-Wrestling (I was hopeless), Talk about computer games (I knew nothing), Discuss which of the Four Heavenly Kings was the best (I also knew nothing at this time, except that I bought a ruler with the face of one of them - Surprise surpirse! It wasnt Jacky Cheung, but Leon Lai! =() , Tease boys about girls and tease girls about boys (Every year, it was announced that I liked the girl sitting next to me. For the record, not one year was that ever true. I did have crushes though.)

It can go on forever. I really have to stop writing because I do not want the entire blog to be of this post. But I think something that is easily noticable is that my Primary School Experience must have been very different from the rest of my peers. In a sense, I was really in my own world. But then again, I always knew what was going on around me and did participate in the normal daily pursuits as well.

As frivilous and comical all these incidents may seem now as I write them down, they meant the world to me back then. And actually, they still mean alot to me now. I attempted many things later in life, not because I am born confident, but because my primary school experience told me that I could do them. In Primary School, I didnt really volunteer for anything, everything was upon selection by the teachers. And that is partly why I always respect and remember my teachers, for the countless opportunities they gave this short little talkative boy, for the memories they provided him that never fail to bring a smile to him when he thinks of them.

On Why I Said That

2007-02-22T00:59:00.000Z

The most seemingly frivilous and meaningless comments often have lots of thought and intentions behind them. With regards to the previous post, I will now exposite on why I had told the class that 'Bar Graphs are for stupid people'.

Firstly, I think the essential thing when trying to get a point across to someone else, or when teaching, is to get the complete attention of that person. The next logical aim is obviously to maintian that attention. Starting a topic by 'de-valuaing' it allows this to be done. I believe that upon knowing that a topic is easy, to the student who sees him/herself as below average, the first reaction is: "Ah, so this is not difficult. Maybe I can understand this, and then maybe I am not that stupid!"The initial reaction to the student who sees him/herself as average, might go along the lines of " Oh, I better understand this, if not it means I am stupid!" I am not interested in the reaction of the above average students, because no matter how, they will understand it.

It is deducible that the 'apparent managability of the task' will attract the attention of those who think lowly of their academic abilities, while the 'desire to prove themselves' will spur the average to concentrate on the lesson. However, it is clear that the consequences of such a statement as 'this topic is for the stupid' can be severe. This is when the student eventually does not manage to grasp the topic, or what is being taught, and goes away thinking he/she is truly more than stupid.

Therefore, I personally went round to every student to ensure that they were successful graduates of my lesson. And yes, I had undivided attention, and very spontaneous participation during the lesson, as well as many laughs (as I tried to recreate the reasons why only stupid people need to use bar graphs to see that 5 oranges are more than 3 oranges).

Surprise Surprise!

2007-02-19T02:19:00.000Z

On the second day of the New Year, I must share with everyone an event that really lifted my spirits, and brightened the night! In anticipation of a Skype conversation with my relatives to take place later in the day, I was on MSN at 2am (UK). I randomly wished one of my primary school classmates, Benjamin (who went on to RI too), Happy New Year! Apparently, he was asleep and his brother replied. His brother is 10 years old.

As I found his brother rather chatty, I decided to establish a conversation with him. I then realised that he most probably went to the Pri Sch I and Ben went to, which is RSS. So I asked him which class he was in. And then, it occurred to me, that in my relief teaching days last year, I might have taught him. So I asked him if he knew a Mr Foo. (He obviously doesnt'know who I am) He responded imediately, " yes, my relieve teacher last year. thin and wear spectacles. very funny. "

I was pleasantly surprised. But that was not it. He then went on. "Mr Foo taught me Bar Graphs in P3, and he said it was for stupid people to understand and compare numbers." I think I could feel my heart stop for the moment. How on earth could he remember all that! Who ever remembers a relief teacher, who steps into the class for only 1 day, much less what he teaches, and says! After more than 6 months later, that is. And I always thought children below the age of 12 have a very short-term memory.

I do not know what I have done as a teacher. Left little children thinking bar graphs are for the stupid?! But I was very touched. Perhaps he will remember this relief teacher when he is in JC/Uni doing Stastistics, and wonder to himself, 'That Mr Foo! He said bar graphs were for stupid people, why am I still looking at them now! And why do they seem rather difficult!'

(This incident set forth lots of questions in me which I actually typed, but I will post them another day when I sort out my thoughts. )

Happy Chinese New Year

2007-02-17T21:23:00.000Z

Another sketch to usher in the Year of The Pig. May we all aspire to reach for the skies this year, hand-in-hand, together.

My First Sketch

2007-02-16T15:46:00.000Z

And with this piece of art, we say Goodbye to last year, and hello the Year of the Pig. Please be a good year. =)

从今以后

2007-02-14T22:18:00.000Z

少点期盼，少点遗憾
心碎不会那么绝望
失了希望，丢了梦想
明天不再依然灿烂。

从前时
你会与我在沙滩上拉着手，
看着那蓝鱼在海上自由飞翔。
从何时
两人之间没有什么话再可以说
我只能猜着你那已经冰凉的双手。

从前时
你告诉我天上月亮那么美
我也不想时间就这样流失去。
从何时
我看着太阳你却凝望月亮
两人之间的差距仿佛已经太远。

不要悲伤，不要哀叹
世界总要继续循转
忘了隐藏，忘了装扮
但还希望你永戴欢笑。

曲：根田成一/ 竹雨
词：竹雨