On My Money

I know I promised to continue with my vision of SEA but owing to intensive school readings to do, I have decided to postpone for another 2 weeks after my terms ends and so that I can do some proper research to support my thoughts. In the meantime though, here is something that could possibly act as a pre-cursor to that post, something that is more simple and cute.

Do you remember how you used to receive pocket allowance from your parents when you were younger? Were you given a montly or weekly allowance? Or did your mum put money into your wallet daily? Or was it more of a 'ask-when-you-need' process? Now of course, different family financial backgrounds will allow for different systems, but also important is your parents' philosophy of money.

Today, I had an online conversation with a very good friend and he told me that at this stage of his life, his aim is to gain financial independence. That is what got me thinking. How does this relate to pocket money? Let's see!

Throughout my entire life thus far, up till now, my pocket money has been given on a very 'free and easy' system, as opposed to a very rigid weekly or monthly routine. When I was in primary school, my mum would give me a daily allowance that would be enough for me to get by at that time. As I grew older into secondary school, the allowances increased in value, but the system was the same. Every morning, my mum would look into my wallet and see if there was any money inside, if there was little or not enough, she would top it up. So actually, I never actually needed to ask. As I grew even older into JC or army, my mum would no longer check my wallet every morning before I went out, instead she would ask me daily if I had enough money. I would then reply yes or no, and if no, tell her how much I would need. This history of how my money allowance showed how my mother's philosophy of money was (when it came to her children) but would also go on to inculcate my own philosophy on the value of money. To my mum, her philosophy was that every morning, her children should have enough money. To me, all I needed to do when I ran out, was to ask for more.

Let me now tell you more of how I reacted in such a system. Firstly, I had little incentive to save money for a rainy day, because there was no such thing as a rainy day. The second outcome though, which is actually somewhat related to the first, is that I developed the thinking that the purpose of money was for it to be enough now, there did not need to be more! However, the older I grew, the more the days started to rain. Costs increased, there were more social gatherings to attend, meals to go for. My mum was not fully aware of this increase in expenditure on my part, but for me, what she gave me was still always meant to be enough. So, money is always enough. When I ran out of money, incrreasingly so, I would not go to my mum to take more, I would borrow from friends (which got me quite a reputation) and then return the next time my mum gave me. And I would cut down on spending, even forgoing basic meals. Sometimes even though I knew full well that my wallet was empty, I would tell my mum that I did not need more money. Only for her to check sometime later, and that tell me, "Your wallet is empty you do not even know!"

But why did I not take more money? It was not because of a fear of getting scolded, because I never would be, nor was it a desire to look thrifty, because even though I actually spend almost peanuts on myself, I never saw that as a source of pride. Why then? Because I believed that 'money is always enough', 'money that my mum gave me is always enough'. Money to me, is meant solely for exchange. Exchange means that if I need something that money can buy, I take out money in exchange for the thing that I need. So, for me, if I had no money, it meant to me that I needed nothing. I did not see borrowing money as money being not enough, since I always knew I would return and never borrowed for luxury, it was just like being in credit.

Now, after this long story, let me come back to the point of financial independence. It is almost obvious by now, that I have been financially very un-independent all my life, havent I? I had little concept of savings, and I never felt a need to make my own money. And till today, I do not have that desire. I have no qualms about taking money from my parents, or from my relatives, or borrowing from my friends. But now, let me also give the other side of the story. Almost my entire academic life was paid for not from my parents' pockets. Having been on scholarship all my life, you could say that my entire schooling fees have been provided for, and even now, my living allowance fees are provided for by my scholarship board. So, it would be easy for me to argue that actually, I have been financially independent from a very young age, in fact I have 'earned' close to half a million dollars for me to study and live. But do I think that way? No! My brain doesnt work like that. My dad and mum did not bring me up like that. In my family, there is no such thing as financial independence. The money is simply to go round the family, everyone puts in what they have when it is needed. There is no my money, or your money, it is not even our money, it is just enough money for now! My aunt part financed my dad for his studies, and they contribute to the household finances and the list goes on and on. No one is independent, but no one is dependent as well. I have never seen myself as financially dependent or independent. Money has had only one purpose, to be enough! To be enough to exchange for what I need or want. If there is no money, it means there is nothing that I need or want. And in case you think that I have never been poor, let me tell you that I have survived days and weeks on close to nothing. Because, if I had no money, I stay at home, I eat the bread that is left, I read the books that I have.

I sometimes think, that people always want more money. Why so? To buy the new clothes, a new car, a new house and then keep some in the bank for spare in case they want to buy something else still. But I never wanted more money, I was happy with what I had and what I have. In the balance between money and desire, people try to change the amount of money they hold, I change instead my desires and my lifestyle . I have never wanted to buy a single branded shirt or jeans or watch or shoes or computer game for myself in my life! I have never owned anything from a Gameboy to an MP3 Player to an Ipod to a WWi. My first laptop which is this one I am using now, is not even mine, its acquired on a loan from JTC! The only things I feel I own are my treasured boxes of letters and cards that I have received from friends and relatives through the years. Besides that, I cannot think of anything material that I own, ok maybe besides my Jacky Cheung CDs! =p But I am idealistic and I know that. And I do regret imposing such thinking on my close friends sometimes taking for granted that they will share the same mentality as me. For those that have not but still put up with me, I am always grateful.

That is why when another friend asked me the other day, will you work hard to earn money? I said yes I would. And my reasons were simple. Just because I know that I can treat money as how I treat it, and that my family from my dad to my mum to my aunties and uncle also treat it that way, it would be unfair for me to expect my future family, wife and children to carry that same thinking. I do not think that just because I can survive on no money a day, then I should expect my children to do so as well. The story comes full circle you see. Back then when my mum and dad could live on almost nothing a day,they would still open our wallets every morning and put money inside. Do you get me? =)