Memories of Flight

Five years old.
Couldn’t sit still between Papa and Mummy.
Couldn’t stop talking.
When are we going to fly?
We are moving!
The plane started taking off.
I looked out.
I clutched my seat handles.
Trying not to look scared in front of others..
We are in the air!
Halfway, the pilot announced there would be turbulence.
What is turbulence?
Mummy started vomiting due to the turbulence.
I felt quite proud I could defeat the turbulence!
Nothing to be afraid of with Mummy and Papa next to me!

Twenty-two years old.
No one next to me.
No more talking.
No more anticipation on when I start flying,
Thoughts only on how long the delay will be.
The plane starts taking off.
I look out.
I clutch the seat handles.
Trying to convince myself I am not scared.
Finally, we are in the air.
Halfway, the pilot announces there is going to be turbulence.
No more questions, it must be the umpteenth time.
I thought I would be proud to fly alone.
I thought there would be
Nothing to be afraid without Mummy and Papa next to me.

But I look out of the window,
Into the darkness of the night.
And I wish they were.