On Timing

The Significance of Timing

Timing is crucial. It is part of something we call "destiny", something out of our control.
My favourite way to illustrate this is through the everyday occurence of obtaining a seat in a crowded bus.
When we enter a crowded bus where everyone is standing, we will be asked to move towards the back whenever new passengers board the bus. Now, if someone sitting at the front alights when you have been pushed to the back, it will not be you that gets the seat, but rather, a new passenger who has just boarded the bus. This is despite you having stood and waited longer.
Thus, in life, if you find efforts of yours rendered fruitless and you cannot seem to grasp at any logical reason, always take consolation that it was bad timing. Some things are not about a lack of capability, attraction, or luck. Sometimes, it's just not in your destiny.

On Confidence

What is confidence built on?
Confidence can be built on 2 things:1) results/capability/success 2) nothing.
If your confidence solely lies on your successes, you will be easily ruffled when you meet setbacks or hiccups. Hence, you will start on an never-ending spiral to prevent such hiccups in all ways, constantly believing that you need new successes to be confident.In other words, your confidence will always be short-lived as you only believe in superficial, black and white success.
If your confidence solely lies on nothing, you will have a natural air of confidence around you. Never seeking to improve yourself or go out of the way to make things happen, you will have a natural and indestructible belief that nothing will ever go wrong for you.
What needs to be found is an equilibrium point for both these kinds of confidence.
To achieve this is far easier for the person whose confidence lies on nothing, all he needs to start doing is make an active EFFORT to achieve, and to improve his capabilties. Most importantly, he must learn from criticism.
However, for the person whose confidence relies on successes and praise(low self-esteem), it is much harder. For him, it is not about physical effort, but a change in MINDSIGHT. He will need to recognise that he is recognised and appraised as a positive human being with a beautiful soul contributing to the comfort, peace, and joy of others. While this may sound ridiculous, I believe the only way he can truly feel this is if he gets a notebook, and records every single Thank you, Good Job, and other forms of appreciation and gratitude attributed to him, together with this is a record of unkind remarks made against him or constructive criticism even. At the end of the month, or even week, when he compares both lists , he will have it in BLACK AND WHITE that he actually is a far better person than he makes himself out to be and need not actually actively continually seek recognition.