Tintern Abbey, Caerphilly Castle & Ping Khuan

It has been the busiest and most tiring week in the UK. I worked as a garderner in Uncle Carl's garden on Saturday, and from trimming leaves ended up uprooting entire trees. I think the last time I physically exerted thus much was in the army. But it was a very good workout. Next, the maps assignment is due on Wednesday, and even though I have had a rough idea on what to do for quite some time already, I only got started typing on Monday. But the highlight of this week, is a visit from Ping Khuan from the US!

He arrived at 920pm on Tuesday night, and left Cardiff at 920pm on Wednesday night. Within this time period of 24 hrs, I finished my report, and we travelled from Cardiff to Chepstow to Caerphilly and back to Cardiff, and visited Tintern Abbey, Caerphilly Castle, Cardiff Bay and the famous Gala Casino Cardiff (made famous by me). I saw Wales at its most beautiful today, even better than the visit to Brecon Beacons made last year.

Tintern Abbey lies along the Wye Valley in Chepstow, and was built in the 12th century (1131) by Cistercian Monks from France. A gothic building set admist greyish mountains and the Wye River, it really gives a sense of peace. Not a holy kind of peace as places of worship might give, it is after all only the ruins of the Abbey; but a kind of quietness within nature. The shade of colours are dull, except for the glorious sky, yet the whole picture exudes a great calmness. The town of Chepstow must be my favourite place in the UK thus far. The town centre is simply a sloped road filled with lightly painted houses (i.e, light pink, white). Beyond, the housing is laregly detached with lots of garden space. Add to that a wonderfully rural racecourse, which is nonetheless huge. (Very different atmosphere from Kranji, which gives a very commercialized "betting" feel.) A small town of 20,000, it perhaps allow peace and activity, nature and civilization, community and individuals to mix effortlessly.

Caerphilly Castle was built by the Norman nobleman Gilbert de Clare and not Edward I(who built most Welsh castles so as to crack down on the Welsh Lords.) Gilbert de Clare instead, built the Castle to resist against the Last Welsh Prince Llewellyn and safeguard his territory of Glarmorgan. It is the largest castle in Wales, and the second largest in the UK. It has double moats, and the extent of the defenses are elaborate. In here, I learnt much about Welsh history from the exhibitions and books. (how power in Wales evolved from the Celtic Chieftains to the Romans, to the Normans, to the various Welsh Princes, and finally to the English Kings). Caerphilly is also a small town located very near to Cardiff. We saw lots of students from the same Secondary School walking down the streets. This gives it a very local feel, which I think actually gives the place a sense of cosiness, and you really do not get a feeling of being lost, even though it is foreign.

The reason why I have gone into some detail into explaining all these is because for once, the pictures I am going to post do not tell a thousand words. Rather, they are pictures I like because the scenery or people within (=P) look very nice. Of course, to end off, this entire visit would have only taken place because Ping Khuan visited. I can never emphasize more how the familiarity of having a close friend visit, and the pride of being a host, actually gives me a huge sense of satisfaction and eagerness to discover the land!

It's now time to sleep. I have slept only 3 hrs in the last 30 hrs. (now you know how come the report could be completed even though Ping Khuan visited) Good night! Have a great day! Hope you like the pictures!

The 100th Post

Dear All,

The first article in this blog was posted on April Fools' 2005 when I was serving my National Service in the Police Headquarters. However, after only one post later, I stopped posting anything for close to a year. In March 2006, when I started relief teaching, I started posting again. Exactly a year on since then, this is now my 100th post. Incredibly, the site has seen more than 5,000 views within this one year. When I first started posting, it was more for my own viewing pleasure, and perhaps a circle of very close friends. But now, it is much more than that, a wonderful link between my family and friends and myself, a space for self-expression, and my best companion in times of solitude late at night. Thank you very much for your sustained interest in my life and thoughts, thank you so much for your comments and tags!
Well, I suppose this "ashes of times" hasn't exactly seen the best of times, but it definitely hasnt been short of happy moments as well. And on this centenary, it's my wish that all of us can look ahead with light-hearted spiritedness and joyful laughter!
I wanted to post this video on the blog, but there is a technical probles. Instead, I will post the link, and you can proceed to take a look. It will be my gift to everyone! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSxsGddQeXo&mode=related&search

With Love,
Cexiang!

思送陈兄

思君千里忆一别
离人当日何不如
昔时伴随共一挥
只叹今天无力为
望君莫觉情异境
永远祝福青空寄

I wrote this as a gift to Jinghui when he flew back to Australia to continue his studies earlier in February. I was already back in the UK by then. And who would have known, that less than a month later, I feel the same feeling, for a different reason. I wish my grandma well whereever she is now. Meetings not many we had, but love for her as my mum I shared.

On Death

I wonder how I first came to understand the concept or idea of death. From what I can faintly recall, it must have been when my aunty was reading Chinese history tales to me when I was very young where we came across the word 'si'. And, I asked her, "What's death?" The answer I got and I believe millions of young children across the world receive, is that death happens when people grow old; they will stop breathing in their sleep, and then no longer walk, talk, and live.

And not long after that, as I grew older, I learnt that my grandfather passed away when he was barely 40, from a heart attack, and slowly, a few distant relatives passed away, some young, some older. But, this concept of dying old in sleep stayed firm in my mind. Dying young, struggling with illness, seemed something distant, foreign, that could only happen to other people.

Then in 2006, my mum left. And hours ago, her mum left. Both had cancer, one before the after. Both left, one after the other. And the image of dying peacefully in sleep when old died in me as well. As I heard the news, I looked at myself, my hands, my body, my feet, and I thought, "I know one day, you will let me down. I just hope that before you do so, you let me know. So I can tell those around me, I am going to let them down."

I always tell everyone, to treasure those around you. And tonight, I would add, most of all, treasure yourself, - for every morning that you wake up, and breathe, smile, talk, walk and run.

One More Breath

It's all a blur.
People, shadows. Voices, noise.
Memories lost by the second,
yet time has stood still.
One more breath, and yet one more breath,
it seems like forever.

No more thoughts.
Love, forgiveness. Hatred, grudges.
Emotions forgotten by the second,
yet time has stood still.
One more breath, and yet one more breath,
it seems like forever.

Too used to breathing.
Too used to hoping.
Too used to caring.
Too used to loving.
Too used to you.

There is time no more, nothing's left.
Yet, still, too used to it all.
And again I plead,
One more breath, and yet one more breath.
till forever.

乱涂

星期一夜。完成了今天为自己设定的功课目标，突然来了兴致，拿出了旧照片，想画一画。

第一次：人这么美，怎么画得那么丑! 丢！第二次：还是不行！再来！第三次：慢慢来，仔细点，先画轮廓，再添嘴巴，鼻子。哦！似乎有点样了! 到了眼睛， 失败！完全捉不住眼神。第四次：不行！不行！不行！第五，第六，第七。。。怎么越画越糟。嗨。我真的用心，真的想画好，但人，终究跟高楼大厦，花草树木不一样。

人。表面是很简单的。脸庞，头发，鼻子，。。。，比起复杂的高楼或多姿的花草，好像应该容易些。但，那眼神，那脸态，却是捉摸不定的。越觉得自己画得滥，却越觉得照片中的人，是多么漂亮。简单，却准确。简单得那么美，准确得不可把脸部画得有一线之差。原来一个人，能多么的完美。曾经觉得她美，原来那么模糊，那么不足够。
纸，丢了好多张。照片却一直在眼前的手里。真的在手里吗？从前的曾经，怎么可能真的在今天的手里呢？

早前时分，突然来了一位十二年没遇见的小学同学，在网上找到了我。她聊阿聊。我似乎还没遇过一个比我更能聊小学回忆的人，但她可以。自己想着自己的过去，似乎还在当中。但别人跟你说过去的你时，突然间，觉得自己真的那么老了！我的从前，就像昨天。但听到别人告诉我这同样的从前，却突然遥不可及，好像是听另一个人的故事。真得很微妙。

原来现实中，我真的老了，超过二十岁了，人生最大的损失也尝到了。但，为什么，我每天起来时，就好像二十年前，十年前，那么对生命没有什么担忧，恐慌？还是相信，有什么困难，还有爸爸妈妈，还有老师，还有朋友，还有自己。即使有一天，你们都不在了，但请知道，我每天醒来时，你们永远依然在我的身边。

画，我是画不了了，但我心里的白纸上，又何曾何时忘了你们的一滴泪，一丝笑？
我想，这就是我一生，的“不老传说”吧。